The Power of Hi-What I Learned In PreSchool

Working in a preschool has taught me so much about...life. And empathy and patience and mindfulness and so much more.

I'm not exagerrating when I tell you that it's truly made me a better person. I actually think it's not a terrible idea for all of us to spend a little time in a preschool (whether you have kids or not). The pace isn't for everyone and neither is the mess. But the smiles, the sweetness, the simple ways they love, the things they get so excited about, the joy...it's all amazing and hopeful and life affirming. Watching the kids work out their issues with each other and helping to faciliate it is also pretty cool. No joke. 

There's so much I want to say about preschool and how much I love it and have learned from being an assistant teacher. So, I'm going to share a few of my stories from preschool here on my blog over the next couple months. 

Here is a story about how we communicate. How smiles and eye contact and kindness all matter...now more than ever. 

In the preschool that I work in there are several children that don’t speak English. When I first started, I couldn’t imagine how in the world this was going to work. I mean how were these kids going to understand and know the routine and be able to participate and feel safe and happy? One little boy speaks Turkish and just turned 3 when he started school. On the first day of school his mom dropped him off and waved good-bye. He cried, and cried and cried. Even as we sang our very jolly welcome songs and told the kids that it was play time, he cried.  

I walked over to him and looked him in the eye and smiled. I got down on my knees and took his hand in mine. “Hi,” I said. “It’s going to be okay.” I kept smiling. I kept holding his hand. We walked through the routines and transitions together. I stayed by his side that whole first day. And actually every day for the first week. But then he came in one day, waved to his mom and walked over to me and took my hand and said “hi.” Then he started to play alongside other kids in the classroom.

That “hi” was huge. With that “hi” I knew a connection was made.   

Over the last few months, this little boy has made friends, had fun and learned a little more English. Every time he is uncertain or overwhelmed or frustrated with not being able to find the words, he looks at me with that same frightened face he had on the first morning of school. And just like that morning, I walk over to him, look him in the eye, smile and say “hi” and then I tell him “it’s going to be okay.”

I share this story because I think it’s about how communication isn’t just all the talking we do. And boy, there's a whole lot of talking going on in the world. But I'm not so sure there's a whole lot of connecting. Working with these kids in preschool has taught me the power of eye contact and smiling and being calm and truly connecting. And the power of "hi."

Love this song. Not so preschool-y and kind of somber but hopeful too, and just what I'm feeling about some stuff right now.

(click here to watch the video)

I've always loved this classic song. I try to do this everyday....



(click here to watch the video)

Baby of Four-Storytime

I knew it was going to happen, I mean I'm not a parenting rookie.  I also know this isn't the last time that Wade says something slightly inappropriate in class.  Wade is the baby of four kids...he is the kid that I had to remind that not every other preschooler would enjoy his Gollum impression (the creepy dude from the Lord of the Rings movies, yeah Wade does a "My precious!!!" impression that is freakishly good), he is the kid that understands football better than a lot of adults, he is the kid that just asked if he could "get twitter."   

Don't get me wrong, we don't let him watch R-rated movies, he doesn't have his own phone or kindle or iPad or anything else electronic, he isn't allowed to say bad words or even slightly bad words like "butt" or "this sucks."  BUT he knows way more about life and seen way more Disney XD than my 14-year-old did in kindergarten.  And that is why I wasn't too surprised by what he recently shared during story time.

My baby boy proudly brought home the picture he drew, and the story he wrote about and shared with his entire kindergarten class. The picture and the story of his dogs humping, or "huping" as he wrote. Yup, that's right. 

This is THE picture.

I can only imagine the conversations around the dinner tables of his classmates that night. "mommy what is humping?" or "a boy told a story today about humping." Ahhhhhh!  And I can only say "I'm so sorry."

Our kitchen table conversation that night was mostly muffled giggles and me sternly looking at the older kids silently screaming at them to knock it off, but then we ultimately all had a good laugh. Because it won't be the last time something like this happens, and having four kids has taught me you have to laugh at so much of life.

And just in case you forgot, here's a clip of Gollum from The Lord of the Rings.

(Click here to watch the video.)

ThrowBack Family

Yesterday was the first day of vacation bible school at our church.  The kids aren't used to getting up early and it was a little rough for some of them.  When I suggested that Lucy brush her teeth, she rolled her eyes and groaned.  It went down hill from there--shoes couldn't be found, eyes continued to roll, tempers were lost, tears were shed. It was a mess.

"We are going to church to learn about Jesus and being nice, and we need to pull ourselves together," I screamed.  "Now get in the damn car!"

Not my best parenting moment to be sure, but admittedly not my worst either. 

After the screaming and the crying, it was off to church to learn about Jesus and kindness and maybe most importantly about redemption and love.  And play games, sing songs and get a snack.

Even though yesterday morning was pretty messy, I am not overly concerned about my kids or my parenting.  Bad mornings are just a part of it all.  Parenting isn't this glossy exercise in perfection. At least that isn't my parenting, or life, experience.

The other night the whole family watched the movie E.T.  We forced the older kids to put away phones and iPads, and snuggled together with the little ones under blankets.  At first there were snickers of laughter about how old the movie was.  But then there was concern for the "weird looking alien guy" and Elliot.  Later we were all kind of snickering with laughter at the old-fashioned, clunky special effects--when E.T. makes the bikes fly through the air, the scene that amazed me beyond anything when I was a kid, looked sort of awkward and ridiculous.  My kids are used to the Marvel special effects and 3-D everything and E.T. is not that.  But the kids got the heart of the movie, which to me is love and wonder and believing and faith in each other.

Watching the movie as a parent was a little different.  I was struck by how different the kids were, how independent but loving. Kids in a lot of TV shows and movies these days are snarky and sarcastic and rebelling against stupid parents. The kids in this movie were funny and smart. The adults were complicated and troubled but not stupid. Elliot and his brother and sister cared about each other and their mother.  They didn't want to upset their mother because she was dealing with their father leaving her, leaving them.

"You'd totally stand by one of your brothers if they came to you and told you they had an alien in their closet right?," I asked Lucy after we got back from church yesterday.  

"What?," she said with a mild eye roll, like she was exhausted by my question.  

"You know, like E.T., you guys would be like those kids and help each other out, right?," I replied earnestly.

"Okay, yeah, we'd totally hide the alien from you," she said laughing.

"Good, I hope so," I told her.  "I hope you kids have each other's backs."  

I've spent a lot of time with my kids this summer. A lot. While we are so god damn far from perfect, I think they are pretty rad. Even when the hormones of the tween and teen kick in, there are no people I would rather spend my time with.  And I truly believe they would hide the alien and help each other out.

You see, we aren't some glossy, big-budget, out-of-this-world, special-effects-filled new movie full of perfection. No, I see us as more of a sort of throwback to a simpler, clunkier, low-budget movie that is full of heart and story.  And kids that would stick together and figure it out and have some kick-ass bike-riding skills.

THE bike scene from E.T. (Click here to watch.)

Summer Vacation Has Begun

Summer vacation has begun!  All four kids are home and I love it. The weather stunk this weekend, but whenever we could we got outside. We are playing and laughing and bickering and laughing some more. I am having fun capturing all of it on my new fancy camera that I am slowly learning to use.  Here's a few shots from the past few days...

We're In This Together

It takes a village--not only to raise a child, but to be human.  As we celebrated independence this past weekend, I couldn't help but think about villages and communities and being in this whole thing together.  Relying on each other, helping each other, reaching out, accepting, honoring, thanking...that's what it's all about.  That's what I want to celebrate all the time.  In fact, I think I am going to make a rule that sparklers have to be on hand at all time through the year to celebrate good things that happen, people and situations that surprise you and remind you that we are in this together.

In the middle of the night last week the power went out.  I prayed out loud.  I never pray out loud.  And I never ever do request prayers, you know like "please don't let this or that happen."  But yeah, at 3 a.m. last Wednesday I prayed "oh God please, please bring back my power, holy shit please come back on and stay on, please oh please God."   Over the past couple years, sleep has become very important and without it I am nothing.  I knew if I was nothing the next day, my four kids would stage a coup and I would totally be overthrown. I would be toast.

God must have been listening because my power came back on and I went back to sleep.  Tim woke me up the next morning telling me that there was a power line down in our back yard and to not let the kids go back there.  He informed me he'd called the power company and sent an email so they'd fix it soon. 

Several hours later, no one had come to fix it yet.  We still had power but I was pretty nervous with a live wire down in my back yard. I saw a few trucks from the power company parked down the street from our house.  I sent JT to ride down on his bike and ask them if they were coming to fix our power line. A few minutes later JT led three large men in hard hats down our street to our back yard.

"Well, sure as shit, there is a power line down," said the largest man with several tattoos on his arms.

JT and Wade giggled with excitement because there were men with hard hats in our yard and one of them said "shit."

"We'll take care of that for you ma'am," the tattoed man told me.

"You boys never touch a power line," the big man said.  "Do you understand me? Never! They are dangerous.  Always tell a grown up, never even go near a power line that is down.  Got it?"  He was stern and big and scary.

"God, why are you yelling at these boys?," one of the other guys in a hard hat asked.

"I'm not yelling, I'm being intimidating," he explained.  "I want them to remember what I am saying."

These men in hard hats from the power company were becoming safety mentors to my kids and heroes in more than one way to me.  I love it when the whole idea of "it takes a village" looks like you never think it will.  This wasn't some grandmotherly woman telling me how to teach my kids manners or a kind neighbor offering to watch my children (not knocking grandmas and neighbors, they rule).  No, these were burly men working for a power company--not exactly what you think of when you think of a parenting village.

After fixing the power line, the guys and I talked about garden hoses.  "I love that hose, I got mine at Bed Bath and Beyond," the big man told me.  "If you get it there and it gets a hole in it, they'll replace it, no charge."  Good to know, right?

My boys were playing football in the front yard at this point.  

The big man played catch with them for a few minutes.  "Nice hands," he told JT.

Then they were gone, but not without a wave good-bye. 

And a reminder that we are a village, and that my kids might never forget when the big man with a hard hat and tattoos told them about the dangers of power lines and then played football with them.  This is a sparkler-worthy moment.  

T-I-M-E & What I Know For Sure

Last Sunday, we got out an old poster board and divided up the days and asked the kids "What do you want to do? The week is wide open."

Spring Break is coming to a close and I'm sad.  Even though I miss a little of my routine, I love having everyone home.  And the end of spring break means our life gets busier than normal.  Spring concerts, baseball tournaments all over the place, end-of-the-school-year mania and more.  It makes my heart race just thinking about it all.  Maybe that's why I  enjoyed this wide-open week we just had.  

Our poster board/calendar-of-fun included activities like riding bikes, nature hikes, bowling, Belle Isle, jumping rope and more.  Nothing fancy, nothing expensive.  

We did something this spring break that we've never done before, we had a Mom/Dad/Kid date with each child.  Since we didn't have much of a budget and we didn't want to hire a babysitter four times this week, we offered the kids alone time with us at home and a chance to stay up late. Each child had a "My Night"--they got to pick what we all had for dinner, choose an activity to do or a movie to watch together and enjoy staying up late.  

Lucy chose to watch The Book Thief with us after the other kids went to bed.  She recently finished the book and wanted to see the movie.  We got treats and snuggled on the couch, just the three of us.  (The movie was incredibly sad, but moving and well done.)  JT chose to play a few video games and card games with us.  Peyton wanted to watch a few episodes of The Simpsons (a show we just started letting him watch with Tim on special occasions) and eat cake.  Wade was the only one that got something a little different, he wanted alone time with Tim at the baseball field.  We thought that was a good idea since staying up late to a 4-year-old sort of wrecks them.  

We also had fun all together.  Like cheering each other on when we went bowling.

I love how they were rooting for Wade and hoping he got a spare.

Oh man, the agony of a split. Bowling, grrrrr.

I love this picture.  Peyton is trying not to laugh and look like he's having fun with us, because duh, what pre-teen has fun with their goof-ball family?  His expression is the perfect mixture of smile and eye roll, like he's saying oh-my-gosh-you-guys-are-so-annoying-but-funny-and-I-love-you.
At least that's the way I see it.

You've heard the expression how does a child spell love?  T-I-M-E.  Well, it rings true in our house.  Without spending a crazy amount of money or planning anything extravagant, our kids, our family, felt the love I know that for sure.  


Here's what else I know for sure this week:

• VEDA is hard ya'll, but fun.  VEDA stands for Vlog Every Day April.  A new vlog every day.  I have only missed one day so far.  Here's one from last week where I reveal my biggest fear about Listen  To Your Mother Metro Detroit (hint, it has something to do with Cindy Brady).

If you want to spend your weekend catching up on all my VEDA videos head on over to my YouTube channel.  Subscribe if you like.  I have some fun videos from last week, like our trip to Belle Isle, Lucy's book review and of course, a kitchen dance.

• Tulips are blooming in Holland.  When I was in elementary school, we sang this song that went a little something like this: "Tulips are blooming in Holland...Michigan.  Tulips are pretty and gay."  I don't know if every elementary school kid sang that or only kids that lived in the lower western part of the state of Michigan.  We had tulip pride.  But man, look at this gorgeous tulip pride in Holland...in the Netherlands.

Click here to read more about the rainbow fields of tulips. http://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/dutch-tulip-fields-create-cacophony-color-n75701

• I am not over my phobia of frogs.  I was able to pose for a silly picture at the nature center, but it is blurry because I could only sit still for a few seconds.  This phobia is crazy, but it's real, people.  I skipped the frog exhibit.

• I love what Pharrell has to say about women.  And I just love Ellen so much.

• I can't help myself.  I didn't want to, but I did, I watched the Lindsay Lohan reality docu-series and I sort of like it.  Ugh.  I know, but I am rooting for her.  

• I'm looking forward to this weekend so much--our final Listen To Your Mother Metro Detroit rehearsal and the return of Mad Men.  Ahhhhh!!!!

What do you know for sure (this week)? How was your spring break? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. 

Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page or on Twitter.

I love getting to know everyone through pictures.  Please come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

Wade's World & #iPPP

For the past couple weeks, I've been feeling a little vulnerable.  Okay maybe more like a lot vulnerable and emotional.  

I feel a little over-informed, worried, anxious.  The world feels scary and evil and like it's possibly ending.  Pollution reports from the U.N., speculations and theories about why/how/where planes crash, devastating mudslides, teenagers climbing the new World Trade Center...it just all seems a little too much.  I want to turn off every TV and not go online ever again.  I want to hide, like a turtle in a shell.  Or run around like a frantic chicken screaming "the sky is falling."  

I need sunshine (or antidepressants).  I need a media break.  I need to think like a four-year-old.
  
Wade's world is pretty great.  He is all about the moment.  Sure he gets pissed if we are out of chocolate milk, but then Clifford comes on TV and he's happy again.  

The other day, a package arrived and just like a four-year-old should be, he was ecstatic about the box. He colored the box, he pretended the box was a car and then a pirate ship.  In Wade's world, it was THE BEST THING EVER.

He even showed how awesome the box was to his little friend Sadie.  The two of them played hide and seek for quite a while with the box.  One would count, the other would hide...in the box.  Over and over and over.  They had so much fun.

When it started snowing yesterday, my heart started racing and I was convinced that the extreme weather conditions that "will affect all human life" negatively were happening right then and there.  Like we were living in some freaky real-life version of Frozen, maybe we should build a bunker or go buy batteries.  My mind was going a mile a minute and then I heard Wade say "look I can catch snowflakes on my tongue Mommy!"  Even though we have lived in a frigid, snowy winter wonderland for months, he was still excited to see big fluffy snowflakes.  

Because to a four-year-old, snowflakes and boxes are all kinds of awesome.  Wade's world is about possibility and fun and what's that and look over there and wow and right now.

I took a deep breath, took a picture and then stood with my head to the sky, and my tongue out hoping to catch a snowflake.  Hoping to let go of some of my anxiety and remember the possibility and the fun and the what's that and the look over there and the wow and the magic of right now.


All the pictures in this post were taken on my phone.  Come play with me on Instagram.

Now Link Up for the #iPPP
Greta, Angela (my LTYM co-producer & iPPP co-host-er) and I want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite phone photos of the week.  Of course, it doesn't have to be from an iPhone.  All you need is a blog post containing at least one photo from any phone camera.  Link up below and don't forget to visit some of the others!

<img src=”http://mamamash.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/ippp-polaroid-125-x-125.jpg” alt=”GFunkified” style=”border:none;” />

The Same Team & #iPPP

"Good luck today," JT said and then gave Lucy a hug before we left for their basketball games last Sunday.

It's been a long, cold, snowy winter.  Even though we've been enjoying the outdoors as often as possible, there has been a lot of time cooped up inside.  Together.  Lots of togetherness in a not so big house.  Which means there has also been a lot of bickering, picking on each other, wrestling and shouting "get away from me" or "quit touching me."  And that's just Tim and me.  The kids have been pretty annoyed with each other too.  That's why JT wishing Lucy an unprompted good luck was pretty surprising.

I love being surprised by my kids' generosity and kindness to each other.  Because honestly, they can be pretty mean to each other.  Wade told me the other day he didn't want me to clip his finger nails so he could use them to scratch Peyton in a fight.  Um, my 4-year-old is strategizing what weapon works best in a brother fight?!  And he learned it from his big sister?!

They may beat the crap out of each other sometimes, but I truly believe they love each other.  I believe we are a tribe, a team, a family.  They  have each other's backs.  They support each other.  My belief is based on the way they comfort each other.   If one of them gets in trouble for fighting a little too hard or being a little too mean, it never fails the others think we are being too harsh and quickly come to the defense of their sibling.  My belief is based on on the "good lucks" they give each other before a big game. My belief is based on the laughter I hear when I check on them at storytime.

I'd love to tell you that Tim was reading sweet bedtime stories, but that's not the case.  He was cracking the kids up by changing Disney classics like Bambi,  and adding fart jokes and a lot of violence.  The kids were rolling with laughter, all of them, from the 4-year-old to the 12-year-old.

My belief that they really do dig each other is based on the fact that even after what seems like a never-ending winter and being trapped inside together for a million days, they/we still have a great time, most of the time.

This is my jam right now...because just like Lorde says "you know we're on each other's team."



All the pictures in this post were taken on my phone.  Come play with me on Instagram.

Now Link Up
Greta, Angela (my LTYM co-producer & iPPP co-host-er) and I want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite phone photos of the week.  Of course, it doesn't have to be from an iPhone.  All you need is a blog post containing at least one photo from any phone camera.  Link up below and don't forget to visit some of the others!

<img src=”http://mamamash.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/ippp-polaroid-125-x-125.jpg” alt=”GFunkified” style=”border:none;” />

Link up with your blog posts featuring any phone photos every week! Your post can be about anything, as long as it contains at least one picture from your phone. Link will be open until 11:59pm central Friday night.