Apples in my Chicken Salad--

Traditions and stories make sense to me. They make everyone feel safe and loved and like it's going to be alright. Not to sound too Hamilton-y, but in a world that feels turned upside down to me, family traditions make me understand some things again. Like oh yeah, these simple little imperfect things we do are important, they ground us and connect us and remind us that it's good to tell stories and laugh.

Even though I think traditions are important, I really try to not put too much pressure on us. They don't have to be perfect. They don't always have to go according to plan.

Years ago, my dad's mom who we called Granny was making chicken salad for lunch. So the story goes, she had a lot on her mind, she was distracted and kind of going through the motions. At one point she looked down and realized she was cutting up apples in her chicken salad. She laughed and thought about throwing it out and starting over, but instead she served the chicken salad anyway and she and her family laughed at her mistake. (This was way before we knew that apples in chicken salad is kind of a gourmet/Pinterest-worthy recipe idea!) After eating the apple filled chicken salad, they decided they loved it and they made it that way forever. And told the story forever and laughed a lot.

Apples in my chicken salad reminds me of my Granny and her kitchen and her laugh (she died when I was 6 years old). And how sometimes things just come together, and how stories are good and laughter is good.

Apples in my chicken salad is how I approach traditions around the holidays and really always with my family. From trimming the tree to Elf Night to the Advent Calendar to special holiday plates we use at dinner, I want the traditions not to feel too forced and kind of come together imperfectly, make a good story/memory and provide opportunities for lots of laughter.

Our Elf Night--a dinner full of waffles and marshmallows and candy; candles and paper snowflakes; an elf naming ceremony; and then watching the movie Elf. It's my fav night of the year.

We have added some holiday traditions (like cutting our tree down and Elf Night) and we've had to change some or let some go (when JT was diagnosed with Celiac disease when he was 3, some baking traditions stopped, Gluten Free gingerbread houses are expensive!). And woah, traditions with teenagers are interesting (not necessarily the lovefest they were when they were preschoolers), so we've updated some like watching Elf and not getting mad if they are a little moody or melancholy during the Advent sharing circle at dinner.

Someday my kids may tell the stories of the traditions they loved doing as kids and how annoyed they were with other parts, but they will have stories to tell and memories to laugh about. And maybe when their worlds get a little upside down, the traditions and stories and memories of love and laughter will help them know that it's going to be alright.

We got the perfect tree. We named him Peppers (the last name of a University of Michigan football player, lol).

Our elf Keith Babu, a former WWE wrestling action figure, is pretty buff. We sometimes forget to move him. And sometimes we forget to be the tooth fairy and Keith comes to the rescue. I love magic.

Beautiful and Goofy--Traditions

It's Fall.
It's time for pumpkins and leaves and traditions and ahhhh!!!!
I love it all.


But there is less and less time for it all.



I refuse to let traditions die.

Sure they may change or be rushed and most definitely be messy and ridiculous, but they will be done (or at least most of them will be anyway). Rushed and messy and ridiculous is my whole life anyway right now. Life is also surprising and sweet and full of love and laughter. And I want my kids to remember all the messy, sweet, good stuff. I want to remember it. Years from now, and even a week from now when I (and maybe all of us) feel overwhelmed with something or other and want to be reminded of the surprising and the sweet and the love and the laughter.



Traditions like the pumpkin patch are the kick-off to our most tradition-filled season--Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and dun-du-du-daaaaa (my trumpet-y sound)....Christmas. The pumpkin patch sets the tone for all of it. And all of it is important, to me. So last week we had 30 minutes in between games and birthday parties and homework and church and work, and we went to the patch for our pumpkins.

This year we added a corn maze to our tradition. Everyone loved it. Except me, I didn't love the corn maze. Maybe it was too much like my mind, all twists and turns and no certainty. Waaaa. Or maybe it was the fact that my whole family made it out and I didn't for a long time. They picked their pumpkins and were ready to go by the time I got out, and I was like "wait, what? I didn't take pictures or give an opinion and what?" They laughed. And again I was like "wait what?" Then we all laughed.











Last weekend, Tim and I got in a fight about something stupid and I left without him to take our annual "Fall Kid Picture." The kids were oblivious to our bickering. They posed and played together. An impromptu game of football broke out because of course. 








When I got back to the house, Tim and I laughed at how dumb we were being and sat together and looked at the pictures on my camera. 

"Look at how grown up they are!," Tim said kind of shocked. 

"And beautiful," I added. "And goofy."

We needed a reminder. That's what traditions and rituals and pictures do sometimes.They remind us that our life is surprising and sweet and full of love and laughter.

The tone of our traditions this year? Beautiful and goofy. Here we go....

Off To High School--Round One

My son is starting high school in a couple weeks. 

Whaaaaaat? I both kind of can't believe it and feel totally okay with it. Yesterday we registered Peyton and got his schedule and got his locker. Then he had a team dinner with the football team. He seems appropriately confident and nervous. He seems ready.

Yesterday I had a talk with him that was equal parts "I Hope You Dance"/I will fucking kill you if you get messed up with drugs/grades matter/hard work matters/I will love you through all of it. He nodded while I just kept talking and talking. I have no idea if I was saying the right things or if it was too much or not enough. At one point I even admitted to eating "space cake" when I was in Amsterdam but followed up with "I was 20 and it was legal!" Ahhhhh! I stopped there because I'm not ready to tell him all the things I did or know if I even ever should. Oh hell, I have no idea! I switched gears quickly and talked about identity and threw out a Jay-Z quote because he's still cool right? Ugh. OMG. I ended with "well you get it right? I love you and I want you to have fun and know who you are and be good and be safe."

A bit cheesy? Maybe. Too much? Maybe. But god dammit I love that kid and I want him to carpe diem all the opportunities during high school. And um, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I just want him to have a sense of self and a sense of belonging in our family and know that we have his back (but we will also hold him accountable!). 

Years ago, my much younger brother, Harrison, was visiting us right before he started high school. Peyton was two and Lucy was a baby. We had a party, with just us, to celebrate Uncle Harry going to high school. 

Balloon hats were all the rage in our little kid house at the time, so we made one for Uncle Harry. 

We also made a cake and had streamers and signs and made him wear a tie. It was cute and fun and Uncle Harry was a good sport. "Someday we'll do this for you," I told a smiley, little Peyton. "When you go off to high school, you will get a balloon hat party."

Last night it was his turn. The balloon hat tradition continued and just like his uncle, Peyton was a good sport.

It was silly, but just as important to me as the big/cheesy/heavy talk. Traditions and a sense of humor are a big part of the family he belongs to. A family that celebrates together and talks to each other and laughs together and loves through all the ups and downs and carries on silly traditions and serious traditions...that's who we are. And my god, I'm hoping that helps Peyton and each of my kids as they grow up and carpe diem the hell out of middle school and high school and jesus, adulthood. And of course make good decisions and even if they mess up, and ahhhhh, I have no idea what I'm doing! Seriously, jumping into this next phase with my fingers crossed. :)

Here's the Jay-Z quote I used (I love it and have used it before and you better believe I will use it again. I believe it.):

"Belief in oneself and knowing who you are, I mean, that's the foundation for everything great."

—Jay-Z

The Tradition Jackpot--Going Big

This past weekend was full of Easter and eggs and family and games and traditions and laughter. When I married into this family I sort of hit the tradition jackpot. They have a lot of traditions. And they always go big on holidays and special occasions--lots of people, lots of tradition, lots of food and lots of love.

This family doesn't just host a Good Friday breakfast...they host a party with crafts and food and games. It's the kind of party everyone shows up for. Grandkids come back from college to paint eggs and help the younger cousins. The grown-up siblings get involved and help their mom and dad and paint eggs and joke around. 

Cousin Rachel came home from MSU to help out and have fun.

Look at those big kids in the corner having fun!

Awww, Michael and his mom.

Some of the girls, looking so grown up. 

Cousins (big and small) and uncles playing a rough and tumble game of basketball on the tiny tykes hoop is always fun to watch.

Traditions aren't just about food and crafts with this family,they also always involve games. And you better come to compete because the leader of the games, Grandma, takes it all pretty seriously.

Here's Grandma giving the kids the rules of the game.

All the kids take it pretty seriously, but also have so much fun.

There's always a guy that puts a lampshade, um or a bucket, on his head at the party, right? Yeah, Wade is that guy.

New game, new rules and Grandma is telling them
how it's going to be...

This may be my favorite picture from any family party ever.

I told you, Grandma takes it seriously. Lol. 

The annual egg toss. It was a pretty cold day so the kids were worried that would mess things up for them. JT and Micheal won for the second year in a row. Wade and Rachel came in second place and was so excited. 

Do other families do this? I mean because mine didn't. I have some very nice memories with my family when I was little, and visiting my grandma and grandpa was wonderful. BUT we didn't go this big. 

When I first joined this family, to be very honest I was a little overwhelmed. I felt pressure to be a certain way, act a certain way and I might have been a tiny bit resentful of all the big-ness. But I was young and didn't see the bigger picture. I was used to being alone-ish. I was adjusting to being married and being a parent. But almost 18 years later, boy do I get it. 

I get that these family traditions are about love and legacy. They are about showing up. They are about supporting each other and all the life that is happening to all of us. They are about remembering to laugh and have fun when all that life is happening to all of us. They are about staying connected to each other. They are about honoring the past and looking forward to the future. 

This past Sunday was Easter and we were back doing it big and the grandparents' house. Easter baskets, Easter ham, desserts, egg hunt and more basketball. And you better believe Grandma was back running the show. 

The girls were showing Grandma some fun apps for her new iPhone.

The weather was warmer thank goodness.

I've learned so much from this family about going big, showing up, always supporting each other and staying connected. And having fun.