The Power of Hi-What I Learned In PreSchool

Working in a preschool has taught me so much about...life. And empathy and patience and mindfulness and so much more.

I'm not exagerrating when I tell you that it's truly made me a better person. I actually think it's not a terrible idea for all of us to spend a little time in a preschool (whether you have kids or not). The pace isn't for everyone and neither is the mess. But the smiles, the sweetness, the simple ways they love, the things they get so excited about, the joy...it's all amazing and hopeful and life affirming. Watching the kids work out their issues with each other and helping to faciliate it is also pretty cool. No joke. 

There's so much I want to say about preschool and how much I love it and have learned from being an assistant teacher. So, I'm going to share a few of my stories from preschool here on my blog over the next couple months. 

Here is a story about how we communicate. How smiles and eye contact and kindness all matter...now more than ever. 

In the preschool that I work in there are several children that don’t speak English. When I first started, I couldn’t imagine how in the world this was going to work. I mean how were these kids going to understand and know the routine and be able to participate and feel safe and happy? One little boy speaks Turkish and just turned 3 when he started school. On the first day of school his mom dropped him off and waved good-bye. He cried, and cried and cried. Even as we sang our very jolly welcome songs and told the kids that it was play time, he cried.  

I walked over to him and looked him in the eye and smiled. I got down on my knees and took his hand in mine. “Hi,” I said. “It’s going to be okay.” I kept smiling. I kept holding his hand. We walked through the routines and transitions together. I stayed by his side that whole first day. And actually every day for the first week. But then he came in one day, waved to his mom and walked over to me and took my hand and said “hi.” Then he started to play alongside other kids in the classroom.

That “hi” was huge. With that “hi” I knew a connection was made.   

Over the last few months, this little boy has made friends, had fun and learned a little more English. Every time he is uncertain or overwhelmed or frustrated with not being able to find the words, he looks at me with that same frightened face he had on the first morning of school. And just like that morning, I walk over to him, look him in the eye, smile and say “hi” and then I tell him “it’s going to be okay.”

I share this story because I think it’s about how communication isn’t just all the talking we do. And boy, there's a whole lot of talking going on in the world. But I'm not so sure there's a whole lot of connecting. Working with these kids in preschool has taught me the power of eye contact and smiling and being calm and truly connecting. And the power of "hi."

Love this song. Not so preschool-y and kind of somber but hopeful too, and just what I'm feeling about some stuff right now.

(click here to watch the video)

I've always loved this classic song. I try to do this everyday....



(click here to watch the video)

A Hokey-Pollyanna-Silver-Linings Kind of Attitude

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....I'm not talking about Dickens, duh I'm talking about my blog. This past December I had one of the worst experiences I've had in my four and a half years of blogging, but just like that, on the same day I had an opportunity that I have worked toward for all these blogging years.  

Right before Christmas I had my first really shitty Internet writing experience. The kind of experience where your words are taken and twisted. The kind of experience that makes you angry and sad and oh so vulnerable.

I was asked to write a personal essay for a friend who works for a pretty big-ish web site. She said write about "anything that you are passionate about." I wrote my typical hokey-Pollyanna-silver-lining piece because quite frankly I am a true believer in hokey-Pollyanna-silver-linings. It wasn't the best thing (or even the 39th best thing) I've ever written but it was a sort of sweet essay about how after Peyton broke his leg in a football game I felt sisterhood and solidarity with the mother I shared a room with in the hospital.  Then just like in a movie starring someone like Jennifer Garner (I'm thinking about the movie 13 Going on 30), someone working for the web site read my hokey piece and possibly said something like "how can we make this sexy?" Their idea was to put my words in a "hot topic" type debate that online folks would describe as clickbait.  It was a debate about letting kids play tackle football.  

When I saw the web site I was heartbroken, truly heartbroken. I never, ever wanted to be involved in THAT debate. NEVER. You want clickbait and a debate? Give me a writing assignment about why we should support refugees or why I think Donald Trump is a horrible person or why I don't unfriend people who don't agree with me on Facebook or why I'm a feminist or why I don't hate the Kardashians. I can write about stuff that will make people click and make people fired up. But debating tackle football isn't in my head space or my heart right now because I am fucking terrified and I have a football loving family full of men and boys who all want to play and because it's complicated and because I don't feel certain and I can't debate it because it's too personal and too much and it's about my sons and I  just WOULD NEVER DO THAT.(The essay I wrote never mentioned any of my unease or anxiety about football. It simply stated that my son was injured in a football game.)

Honestly, even though I can write about debatable stuff I choose not to do that right now. I choose to write about hokey-Pollyanna-silver-lining shit because I want people to feel happier and see that even when life sucks or we are scared or running low on hope, there is light and love and maybe a laugh.  That's what I write, that's how I live.

I am full of worry and anxiety and imperfection but at the end of the day, my positivity and joy and love of life wins. I feel it all but I strive for more joy always.

When I read my words under the headline about whether or not your child should play tackle football I started to cry and my heart was pounding. I was terrified of reading the comments of passionate people on either side. I messaged my friend but didn't hear back right away. I found out who the CEO of the web site was and sent her an email and a Facebook message and a direct message on Twitter. I begged her to take down my essay. They did within five minutes of my message. 

Later that same afternoon, I went to a job interview.  My eyes were still puffy from crying but I was relieved the essay had been taken offline and I was focusing on making a good impression at the interview. It was for a freelance writing job. A job that I had been recommended for by someone I met through the Listen To Your Mother show I produce which I got involved with because of my happy, hokey blog.  

"I thought of you because of your positive, conversational writing and the happiness you exude," my friend told me.  (Um, THANK YOU!)

I got the job. The pay is good. The people seemed to dig me.  Not to get all Frank Sinatra on you but I got the job doing it my way. I didn't have to sell a story that was way beyond my comfort zone. I didn't have to change the way I wrote to get clicks.  I showed up, gave them samples of writing from my blog and basically said "um, well folks, I write hokey-Pollyanna-silver-lining shit because I honestly think we need more of that in the world." And they basically said "cool, let's do this."

This is artwork that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE from Dallas Clayton. I've been a fan of his for a long time. Go to his web site. Check him out. Buy his stuff. When I get my first writing paycheck I'm going to buy this print or this on a sweatshirt.

It was a roller coaster day for sure full of the worst and the best. That night I let go of the negative crap and celebrated what I like to call the victory of being unapologetically hokey and writing and living a Pollyanna-silver-lining kind of life. I toasted to Dickens and Sinatra and Jennifer Garner and Hayley Mills (um the legendary actress that played Pollyanna in the Disney classic!) and writing from the heart and getting paid and putting yourself out there and learning hard lessons and forgiving and being real and to hope and light and love and laughter.

Here's a great song about silver linings from the incomparable Bonnie Raitt:

(Click here to listen.)

Oh hell yeah, here's another good song about silver linings. I LOVE First Aid Kit and this song.

(Click here to listen.)

Front Porch Season-- My Happy Place

It's that time of year again, time for me to bombard all my social media accounts with pictures of my front porch. I love my front porch, it is honestly one of my favorite places in the whole wide world.

It isn't fancy or full of expensive furniture, but it makes me so happy. Some of my porch feels inspired by Pinterest and some of it feels inspired by just loving being outside and being with my family. It is filled with beat up old chairs my mother-in-law gave me to refinish (which I never refinished or updated), a table we made out of a door we found (click here for the door to table story), a bench my great grandfather made for my grandmother and books and dogs and kids and sunshine (when we're lucky).

We eat as many meals as we can on the porch.

We play games on the font porch.

We say our goodbyes and hellos on the front porch.

We crochet on the front porch.

We read on the front porch.

We totally relax on the front porch.

We say hi to neighbors, watch the kids play in the front yard, and listen to good music on the front porch.

And occasionally I drink wine on the front porch.

The front porch is my happy place. I feel safe and so full there--peaceful, grateful.

Follow along this summer on Instagram (@JumpingWithMyFingersCrossed) using the hashtag #FrontPorchChronicles. 

Do you love your front porch? Or do you have another space where you feel happy? Did Pinterest inspire your style or did your style inspire Pinterest? Share your stories and pictures here in the comments or over on my Facebook page.  And come follow me on Pinterest.

Silver Linings, Pollyanna & Ice Skating

I try to enjoy the moment, really be in it and soak it up.  I like to be happy.  I like to laugh.  I like to dance.  I choose half-full, rose-colored everything and silver linings.  These are all very true, very real things about me.  

But there are other very true, very real things about me.  Like the fact that it can all be overwhelming. All the managing activities and kids and money and no money and a marriage and life and groceries and filling out that form and figuring out that puzzle and making all the right decisions and fixing all the wrong decisions and learning and living and loving and and communicating and worrying and Ahhhhhhhhh!

Sometimes I feel like I'm running on empty.
And sometimes like in the above picture I really am.

Sometimes my whole live-in-the-moment-hippie-wannabe-let's-just-dance-why-can't-we-all-get-along-and-love-each-other-we-need-to-laugh-and-dance-more self doesn't feel like a good fit for this busy, (over) scheduled, suburban life.  

And there's that whole where do I fit in with my kids getting older thing happening right now. I feel torn because I am enjoying so many parts of my kids getting older.  Lucy and I binge watched three episodes of Gilmore Girls on Netflix and painted each other's nails on Saturday night, how cool is that?  Peyton and I shared jokes about pop culture and Jesus on our way home from church yesterday, I mean you can't do that with a preschooler. But I if I'm being 100 percent honest, I miss playing a bigger, more cuddly-I-can-make-everything-better mom role.  Sometimes I miss filling up afternoons with painting projects and Disney movies. 
                           
Here's another very true thing about me--I do get overwhelmed, I cry, I get sad and mad and frustrated and anxious and emotional and a tiny bit hopeless, but it doesn't last long.  Because I have these great kids that want to keep moving and playing and learning and laughing and messing up and making up and learning and loving. And a great husband. 

This past Saturday, I was hating youth sports for taking away all my unstructured time and all of our extra money (which is laughable because there is no extra!). Tim came home from picking up one of the kids from practice and said "the pond is still frozen, we need to skate before Peyton's game tonight."  So we went skating.  We found time in between all the crazy schedules and have-to's and structure to play.  

A pick-up game of hockey in the park...it felt so organic and fabulous and unplanned and so unsuburban.  I loved it.

Lucy was the only girl and she was playing/skating hard. So proud.

The fresh air, being active, being together, being unstructured, feeling alive and like a family--it all renewed me.  It filled my glass back up to half-full.

It's hard for some people to understand.  My mother famously asked me why I had to be such a "fucking Pollyanna" years ago.  She's not really a fan of the whole rose-colored way of thinking.

But I like being happy. I like to laugh.  I like to dance (and skate).  I try to enjoy the moment, really be in it and soak it up.    I choose half-full, rose-colored everything and silver linings.  

It is true that I worry that my fucking Pollyanna ways have no place in this rushed, busy, overwhelming life.  But it is also true that I am going to try to find the joy in the unstructured moments and love my family and try to be better at planning and enjoying youth sports and communicating with my husband and not turning into a helicopter mom.  

Feeling the overwhelmed-ness and frustration and confusion and tiny bits of hopelessness, make the silver linings that much more silver.  The whole you have a little darkness to appreciate the light idea, I believe it.  

I have no answers about being happy all the time and figuring out my role with my older kids...no answers at all.  I just know that I will keep trying to enjoy the good moments and really be in them and soak them up.  And dance and skate and love as much as I can.

Sharing Happy & Pinterest Poser

Source: 

I haven't been very crafty lately.  And that bums me out.
A couple weeks ago I was teaching, rather facilitating, an adult Sunday school class at church about happiness.  We talked about happiness vs. being content.  We talked about what makes us happy.  

Here's my list:
Jumping rope with my kids.
Etta James' music.
Good pizza.
Aretha Franklin's music.
Sunshine.
Laughing.
Old Thirtysomething and Judging Amy reruns.
My kids' hugs.
Hanging out with Tim.
Dancing in my kitchen.
Landing the gig, whatever that might be.
Talking with old friends.
Dancing in my car.
Road trips.
Summertime.
Avett Brothers' music.
The color sea foam blue.
Red wine.
PitBull's music.
Avocados.
Not being too busy.
Getting a laugh.
Watching award shows.
Helping someone.
Dancing everywhere.
Reading Dr. Seuss books in different accents and voices.
Coffee.
Ray Charles' music.
Clear starry nights.
Dancing at a wedding reception.
Going for a run.
Writing.
Telling stories.
The ocean.
Hearing people's stories.
Fresh flowers.
Making crafts.

What makes you happy?  Take a minute and really think about it.  I bet once you start thinking about a few things it will lead to a few more things and then you won't be able to stop.  There are really so many things to be happy about.  Little things and big things.

During that Sunday school class, I passed out little happy notes.  We discussed the proven (by a lot of fancy studies) fact that being grateful and expressing that gratitude makes people happier.  For this week's Pinterest Poser* I spread the joy.

*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week I  detail a new Pinterest challenge whether it be a new recipe or a craft.   

*My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.

I cut out old scrapbook paper and poster board I already had.  Then I Modpodged it all together and passed out the happy notes (similar to love notes except you aren't asking people to go with you).

I suggested that people in my class spread the joy and share the homemade, far from perfect, happy cards with people.  People at work, people at church, you know, people.  Even people in your house.  I suggested putting one of these happy notes in a child's lunch box.  I asked Peyton how he would feel if I left one of these happy notes in his lunch.  "I would rip it up," he told me matter-of-factly.  Well, okay then, I get it.  Tween boys aren't really keen on the happy/love note idea, at least a note from mom.  So what about your elementary schooler? Or co-worker? Or spouse?  

G'head, spread the joy, spread the happy.  Do not be afraid.

Tell people how happy they make you.  Guess what?  It will make you happier, I promise.

Source: Pinterest

Have you made anything from Pinterest lately?  Any major successes or flops?  Share below in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

Here are some of the projects I've attempted--the good and the bad:

Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here

Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here

Make Your Own Magnets- click here

DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here

Dixie Cup Lights- click here

DIY Ornaments-click here

Gluten Free Clay- click here

Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here
Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here

Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here

Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here

Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here
Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here

Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here

Fake Bangs- click here

DIY Subway Art- click here

Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here

Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here

The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here

The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click here
The Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

  Head on over and follow my Pinterest boards.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

Smiling At Chipmunks

This whole nature loving side of me is getting a little out of hand.  The other day, I smiled at a chipmunk.  What the hell is going on?  I hate nature.  And I'm not really a fan of animals.  

But Jesus, fall is amazing and I can't stop saying, thinking and dreaming about how amazing it is.

This is river runs alongside the path where I run.  Are you kidding me?  Um, wouldn't you be smiling at chipmunks and birds and maybe even those shifty, untrustworthy deer?
It's beautiful.

If you find me annoying, just know I might be experiencing some sort of manic high that will end with me crashing down very soon.  (waaaaa)  Whenever I was in a really good mood, my mother would always say "Well, we know what's going to happen.  You'll be crying before bedtime."  And then she'd roll her eyes like it was all too much for her to bother with.  (ugh, mother issues)

I'm not going to let naysayers, winter lovers, or crazy mothers get me down.  That's what Christmas is for, duh.  For now, whether you are annoyed or not, I am going to enjoy  my manic ride and keep taking more pictures, keep praising the colors and mums and pumpkins and gourds and the smell of cinnamon and burning leaves and camp fires.

And I'm going to smile at more chipmunks.

Music to smile at chipmunks to:

Eva Cassidy's Autumn Leaves
I used to rock my first baby to her CD, her voice is haunting and beautiful.


The Lumineers' Classy Girls
This has nothing to do with fall, I just like it and ran to it the other day along one of the trails pictured above.

First Aid Kit's King of the World
This isn't a fall song either, it's just ahhhhmazing and wonderful and fabulous.  The lyrics, the voices, the everything.  Enjoy.  And don't forget to smile at those chipmunks.

I'm Over It

I have a tendency to over-complicate, over-dramatize, over-analyze, over-commit... In fact, you might say I'm really good at those things.  While part of me is proud I am really good at something, I am also frustrated.  It gets old being the one that worries, gets too busy and feels crazy and tired.  I'm over it.

not my quuote, but a good one

Friday night I woke up in the middle of the night full of anxiety.  I worried about how I shouldn't have signed up to run a certain volunteer project which led to worry about how I forgot to RSVP to one of the kids' friends' birthday parties which led to worry about how much I ate that day which led to worry that I was losing so much sleep worrying and that I would be exhausted the next day and eat more. Ugh.

That's what I like to call Sunday night thinking on a Friday night.  That kind of anxiety should probably never happen, but if it does it should NEVER happen going into the weekend.  Duh.  Rookie mistake.  I shook it off and went back to sleep.

Saturday I woke up and told Tim about my night.  He always seems shocked about the way my brain works.  I'm married to a man who says he's never been depressed and can't wrap his head around the whole idea of it.  When he listens to my over-complication, over-worry, over-etc., he looks both fascinated and fearful.  

One night last week, he came home and asked if I'd ever heard that new song from Pink and the guy from FUN.  I was surprised because Tim usually only listens to sports talk radio. I knew the song he was talking about.  "It is so us," he said.

The song where Pink is all over-thinking and dark and over-complicated and the dude from FUN is all confused and like why are you so upset...."it's all in your mind."  Tim and I listened to the song together and I was like, um, yeah, it's great....it's our song.  Our song where I'm the screwed up, crazy, tired one.  Waaaaa.



Whatever.  I'm over it.  I can learn to love again Pink.  And it is a good song.  I'll simplify.  I won't sweat the small stuff.  Although that phrase makes me think of this guy I worked with that was really into those books "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" when they first came out and he died suddenly.  Oh god, it isn't working, I'm over-thinking.  Maybe I'll take cues from kids on making it simple.  

This past weekend, watching my kids and their simple pleasures was pretty inspiring.  

Tim bought them marbles at the grocery store and they acted like it was the greatest toy ever.  Yeah, all their friends have iPod Touches, but they have marbles and they love it.

The sun was shining for the first time in what seems like 877 days and the kids ran out to play.  They acted like it was the first day of summer vacation or that we told them we were going to Disney World. Simple happiness.

They get worried or scared and they have each other.  It's simple, it is.