I didn't want to say good night or even turn off the football game on TV last night, because I didn't want the day to end. It was one of my most favorite Christmas days ever. Not because we were on a tropical vacation. Not even because everyone got along 100 percent of the day (because duh, I have four kids that never, ever happens, lol). Nope, it was my favorite because the kids got along for most of the day and they seemed happy and grateful and the dogs were happy and we stayed in our pajamas all day and we went on a nature walk and no one worried about being anywhere on time or doing anything to do with a deadline and we watched football and one of us danced in the kitchen to her new Aretha Franklin record, we had a lot of candy, we watched cartoons, we laughed, we talked, we napped, we hung out, we laughed some more, we hit the new punching bag in the basement, we visited with grandparents, some of us texted dumb Christmas gifs to family members and we ate frozen pizza. Mostly it was my favorite day because it was full of simple, sweet love. LOVE!
Tim surprised me with one of the sweetest and most meaningful gifts of my life. Here's a quick backstory...years ago when Peyton and Lucy were babies, Tim and I were broke. I mean broker than broke. Just like out of an early 20th century novel, we sold our wedding rings to pay the bills. We were living on love, literally. Fancy rings were never our thing anyway. I mean we just wanted to provide for our family and make up for financial mistakes we had made. Over the years things got better financially (a little, lol), but we never replaced our rings. It wasn't a big deal. We knew we were committed and our love was real and we didn't need rings. BUT Christmas morning, Tim gave me a new ring and I loved it. The way he gave it to me was so sweet and cheesy and out of a movie and by god it mattered to me. I was surprised how good it felt to be loved like that and receive a gift from Tim that represented our history and our future and oh my god, I cried and cried. I didn't know how much I needed to feel that. It felt so good.
A video posted by Angela Youngblood (@jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed) on
Here's a few pics from Christmas Eve and Christmas day.
Christmas Eve pre chruch pics are a tradition.
Seeing my family take up half a huge pew in church makes me giggle.
This scene ALWAYS makes me tear up.
Lucy letting me hold her hand during church is a serious Christmas Eve miracle.
Christmas Eve at Grandma's is getting crowded.Lol. Just how I remember it at my grandma's house.
Waiting for the fun to begin. I still think it's a bit wild that Tim has an identical twin and that they both like sweater vests. Ha!
Traditions!!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite picture maybe of all time of Tim and I. Our niece took it while we watched Wade read the Christmas story in front of the family for the first time. Baby Wade reading! I think this picture captures all the hope and pride the encouragement and the love of parenthood.
Back at the house....
Nobody plays foosball which bums me out completely but it's a great stocking holder!
Morning mayhem/magic!!!!
Our elf's last note this year.
I LOVE my new hat!!!!!!
Grandma and Bubba stop by for a visit and to see what the kids got every Christmas afternoon.
Watching dumb YouTube videos because why not.
Oh my god!!!!! New vinyl. I'm in heaven.
Blurry picture but look at these two! This was right before they punched each other. Lol.
Nature walk in pjs!
Snuggling with Wade and his new giraffe he named Connor. I didn't want to say good night...I didn't want the day to end.
The other night, my house was like a scene out of It's A Wonderful Life. Not the happy scene at the end or the dopey "hee haw" scenes in the middle. Nope. I was grumpy. I was snapping at the children like mean, overwhelmed George Bailey when he yells at his daughter to stop playing the piano. I was looking around my living room noticing all the bad parts like G.B. does in his drafty old house. And then, just like G.B. I stormed out of the house all upset into the snowy night wondering if I was messing everything up and even making a difference to anyone and waaaaaa. I didn't go to a bridge or see an angel. I cried in my minivan for a minute. I went to the gym and ran on a treadmill, then took a shower. I went to Target and bought a couple Christmas presents. I walked slowly. I smiled at strangers and said Merry Christmas to a few people. I bought a health magazine and a candy bar for myself. I went back into my minivan and ate my candy bar and scrolled through the pictures on my phone and on my Instagram account. The pictures were filled with all the good times we've had lately. The holiday parties, the cookie baking, the snowball fights, cuddling on the couch, the candlelit dinners, the nature walks, the dogs, the kids...my whole life. So yeah, Clarence wasn't showing me what life would be like without me in it, but I saw the light. My angel was Instagram. The light was all the moments and memories and love. I may do so many things wrong and just like G.B. not have the finest house or the best things, but god dammit I have a great family (even the teenagers!) and we have fun. Not to sound like a corny character from a movie made in 1946, but hot dog, I feel like the richest gal in the town. I went home with a renewed sense of purpose to find my kids actually concerned about me, even the teenagers. I went to bed happy and hopeful. And so grateful. I know for sure that even though it's messy and imperfect and I get grumpy and overwhelmed, I love my life and my family.
A video posted by Angela Youngblood (@jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed) on
Here's what else I know for sure right now:
New traditions rock. I am a huge fan of traditions. Lately I've been trying to add new ones. Traditions that I can see us doing when the kids come home from college or bring their significant others home. It feels crazy to type things like that but it's happening....my kids are growing up.
A backyard bonfire on winter solstice is our new tradition and I LOVE it.
Big kids are fun too. Sometimes a sweet nature walk turns into a snowball fight/king of the hill/snow mound war. And that's okay, it's fun too.
I love a good mashup of pop music. Here's one for 2016!
There's nothing better than going to the movies. I am acutally sounding more and more like a gal from the 1940s because there is nothing I would like better than going to the picture show once a week. :) I love this time of year because of all the Oscar buzz and movie talk. I have a lot of plans to see a lot of movies. I saw Jackie this week, it was good. This movie looks good too.
Last week I was struggling. I had too much to do. I'd said yes to too many things and too many people. I was feeling lost and confused and unappreciated and unsure where I fit in and exhausted. Totally exhausted. Then I cancelled a meeting and told someone I couldn't do a freelance job and it was such a relief. It felt like a weight had been lifted or like someone somewhere gave me a raise. It felt good. Then it started to snow, and snow, and snow, and snow. Activities were cancelled. We were all forced to hunker down together and IT WAS FABULOUS. Slow rolling family meals, Christmas movies, music, no schedule, hot chocolate, more movies and more food....I live for this shit.
Sledding!
And THEN there was a snow day yesterday. Um, my faith in a higher power listening to my prayers/desperate pleas for life to slow down, may have just been restored a bit.
These two nut jobs had a blast in the snow all weekend.
We made gluten free Christmas cookies.
Wade was a fan of the sprinkles. My sprinkle rule is the same as my glitter rule...there is never too much!
We ate so many meals together, which is my dream come true.
Hot cocoa in Christmas mugs!
It wasn't perfect. I cried a little bit because one of the kids wanted to go to a friend's house instead of being with us once the roads cleared. The little boys usually ended up punching each other at least twice a day, at least. The older kids had their phones way more than I wanted. Tim was still on the couch a lot because he is recovering from shoulder surgery. But so what? That stuff happens all the time. It's much easier to handle when I'm not running late or behind and wondering how I will do it all or when I will do it all.
Even the moody tween was smiling. It was a GOOD weeekend.
This weekend was the thing I wanted most for Christmas--free time at home remembering who we are and who I am. We unplugged (a little). We rebooted. We hit the reset button. And we had fun.
