Feeling It All, Lilacs and What I Know For Sure

I am a sensitive person. Some might say overly sensitive and they have a point. I feel a lot of feelings all the time. It can be intense. But it can also be amazing. You see, because I feel dark parts I can really enjoy and feel the light parts. I can get dark sometimes, but it makes the light so good. And I always come back to the light. Yes, I would say I dwell in possibility and positivity more than darkness. I search for the good, I seek it, I love it, I need it. 

Yesterday, the light and all the amazing goodness was in my lilac bush in my front yard. The smell is knock you over fabulous. It's the kind of lilac bush when you walk by, you stop and close your eyes and breathe in the smell of spring and hope and ahhhh. It's the kind of lilac bush that a neighbor asked if he could clip some lilacs off to take to his mother in the nursing home (YES! OF COURSE!).  It's the kind of lilac bush you marvel at and you say "damn, life is good."

My yard sucks, my house is really not very nice at all and we are renters (gasp! whaaaaat?!), but that lilac bush is in my yard and I feel like the richest, luckiest person on the street because of it.  See? Who gets that excited about and/or finds inspiration in a lilac bush? Someone who feels it ALL. Ha! I know for sure this week that it's not all bad to be an overly sensitve person and lilacs are awesome.

Here's what else I know for sure this week:

• Love this new song from JT. Kind of goes with my love of positivity. 

  (click here to watch)

• Time goes fast. I've become one of those mothers who tells younger mothers that. Annoying but Jesus, so true. Check out this video I found. It feels like yesterday!!!!!

ThrowBack Thursday Mother's Day from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.

• Speaking of mothers, I LOVE what The Compassion Collective is doing for Mother's Day. They are bringing back the revolution part of the day and helping children around the world. Check it out. And give. Seriously. It's awesome. http://thecompassioncollective.org

• Listen To Your Mother Detroit was amazing. And I think I kind of grew up as a producer. Here's a recap of this year's show- click here.

My co-producer and friend, Angela,
and me right after this year's show.

• Mother's Day and the Olympics and P&G commericals are the bomb. I love this.

(click here to watch the video)

Happy Mother's Day! What do YOU know for sure right now? Tell me!

Buttered Noodles, What I Know For Sure & #iPPP

It's almost Mother's Day.
I've been a mother for almost 12 years.  I have four kids.  I know things.  

I know that mothering is some kind of wonderful.  It's also hard.  And funny and complicated and conflicted.  It's all I'm going to drain your body of energy, but fill your heart with so much love.  So much love you will feel like you're going to burst.   With pride. With worry.  With compassion.  With anger.  With love.  Love.

I know that it's hard to feel like a good mother.  We compare, we judge, we worry, we stress.  So many decisions to make--big and small.  So many opinions.  

Most of us mothers are doing the best we can.  The other night, as we were getting ready to race to my son's baseball game I had to come up with something for dinner.  I hurriedly cooked some gluten free noodles, slathered them with butter and threw Parmesan cheese on them.  I put them in a container that would keep the noodles warm, grabbed some frozen peas, plates,forks, cups and a jug of water.  Feeling proud of myself for preparing an awesome picnic dinner, I smiled and felt like a good mother.

"We're having a picnic dinner at the game," I told the kids while we were driving to the field.

"What! I HATE buttered noodles," Lucy said sneering.
JT cried and said it was the worst night ever.
"No noodles!," Wade screamed and kicked the back of my seat.
Peyton just looked out the window wishing he was in another family with a better dinner.  And probably a better mother.
Tim was working late and probably getting some dinner in a drive thru somewhere on his way home.

In an instant, I went from amazing-I-can-do-it-all, super mom who can prepare a fun picnic dinner and get the kid to the game all in one fell swoop to a complete failure.  

Sitting in the minivan in the parking lot at the baseball game, after Peyton went to warm up with his team, we cried a little.  Yeah, over noodles (and overbusy schedules, and lack of sleep, and summer weather with homework, waaaaa).

Once we all got over it we made our way to the field with our sh*tty picnic dinner in hand.  We laid out the blanket and I started dishing out the noodles. The kids reluctantly started eating.  Those kids ate everything and then asked for seconds. Are you kidding me?

Other mothers and a few dads said how impressed they were with our spread.  

"You are so together Angela, look at you" one mom said.  I thought she was making fun of me at first. ( And she obviously doesn't read the blog.)  But she was being sincere.  She thought I had something together.  She had no idea what a disaster it had been just 10 minutes earlier in the minivan where I contemplated throwing the noodles at the screaming kids and yelling "I HATE BUTTERED NOODLES TOO YOU *@&^$?#s!!"

But that's the thing, mothering is ups and downs and lefts and rights and crazy like that.  It's highs and lows, I hate you and your noodles, oh wait I love you and your noodles.  


I know that it's hard, but we mothers have to trust ourselves and be kind to ourselves.  Our decisions may not look like everyone else's and that's okay.   Other mother's lives may look perfect and like they have it all together, but you have to know they have crazy buttered noodle moments too.  Because that's motherhood.  I know that for sure, this week.

Here's what else I know (this week):

• Aretha Franklin's song Natural Woman is a sweet Mother's Day song.  Remember when Candace Bergen's character sang it to her newborn in the hospital on Murphy Brown? So good.

• The game of LIFE is all about money.  We just bought the old-fashioned board game last week and the kids love it.  I didn't remember how the game revolved around money.  All I cared about when I was kid, was the how many children I could put in the car.  Sort of foreshadowing!  

It was unnerving watching 6-year-old JT get so excited about winning $5,000 in Las Vegas. Um, what? 

• This is an amazing Mother's Day Note from the amazing Kelly Corrigan.

• Lucy really wishes she had a sister. So she pretends Wade is the sister she never had.

• This week's vlog is about putting off stuff because of motherhood and being a feminist SAHM.  Check it out if you missed it.

• It goes fast.  I can't believe I have a son as tall as me.

• I love my kids. Lucy is a little mama in the house to all her brothers, especially our baby Wade.

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. What are you doing for Mother's Day? Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

  Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

I'm linking up today with my good buddy Greta from  Gfunkified.com and Sarah at SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones.  Check them out.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.