Last week I was struggling. I had too much to do. I'd said yes to too many things and too many people. I was feeling lost and confused and unappreciated and unsure where I fit in and exhausted. Totally exhausted. Then I cancelled a meeting and told someone I couldn't do a freelance job and it was such a relief. It felt like a weight had been lifted or like someone somewhere gave me a raise. It felt good. Then it started to snow, and snow, and snow, and snow. Activities were cancelled. We were all forced to hunker down together and IT WAS FABULOUS. Slow rolling family meals, Christmas movies, music, no schedule, hot chocolate, more movies and more food....I live for this shit.
Sledding!
And THEN there was a snow day yesterday. Um, my faith in a higher power listening to my prayers/desperate pleas for life to slow down, may have just been restored a bit.
These two nut jobs had a blast in the snow all weekend.
We made gluten free Christmas cookies.
Wade was a fan of the sprinkles. My sprinkle rule is the same as my glitter rule...there is never too much!
We ate so many meals together, which is my dream come true.
Hot cocoa in Christmas mugs!
It wasn't perfect. I cried a little bit because one of the kids wanted to go to a friend's house instead of being with us once the roads cleared. The little boys usually ended up punching each other at least twice a day, at least. The older kids had their phones way more than I wanted. Tim was still on the couch a lot because he is recovering from shoulder surgery. But so what? That stuff happens all the time. It's much easier to handle when I'm not running late or behind and wondering how I will do it all or when I will do it all.
Even the moody tween was smiling. It was a GOOD weeekend.
This weekend was the thing I wanted most for Christmas--free time at home remembering who we are and who I am. We unplugged (a little). We rebooted. We hit the reset button. And we had fun.
Linus has descended upon us here in the Midwest. A winter storm that has shut down roads and closed schools, and my family kind of loves it. "This is how a Michigan winters should be," Tim said. Snow and more snow. And snow days. This is how we do snow storms and snow days here in our house:
As I scrambled to find matching gloves and snow pants and boots the kids hadn't outgrown, I sort of forgot to get excited. It was just one more challenge in my life as an unorganized parent. Waaaaa. But it turns out, it was really hard to be extremely grumpy about the snow when the kids, especially Wade, were so excited. Wade was in awe of the falling snow. When I picked him up from Pre-K, he immediately flopped on the ground and made snow angels. He wanted to "scoop the snow" off the sidewalk and driveway. Everything about the snow was great to Wade.
The older kids threw snowballs and prayed for snow days. They all got excited about the snow. Yesterday morning, the snow was coming down hard. The big kids didn't get their wish for a snow day and headed off to school. Wade was laying in my bed watching TV. Instead of bemoaning the fact that I couldn't get warm and that we had to "scoop" a ton of snow off our driveway and our minivan if we wanted to go anywhere, I stopped and surrendered to the moment. Instead of racing around, I made us toast, put it on a tray and got under the covers with him. As the snow fell and fell and fell, we ate toast, snuggled and watched cartoons. Later that day, I did indeed have to scrape the windshield and battle the bad roads to pick up kids from practice and take them to get haircuts and then back home. "At least it's not Buffalo," I heard someone say at the salon. I actually heard about five people say that over the course of my errands.
I smiled because I realized those people were surrendering to the moment too--choosing gratitude and a positive attitude over grumbling and complaining and grumpiness. Sometimes it's easier to surrender to the excitement and the joy of a moment rather than getting grumpy and ungrateful. Sometimes it's easier to make toast and get back in bed. Sometimes it's easier and just so much better to be happy, I know that for sure this week.
Here's what else I know for sure this week:
I love my kids.Duh, right? But last night I looked over while they were watching Frozen and three of them were sitting in our big chair together. I love that they can all fit still. I love that no one told them to sit there, they just did. I love them.
No one needs to die on Parenthood. I heard a rumor that in the last four episodes someone dies. Nooooo! I don't need sad and realistic, that's what real life is for.
One of my new favorite shows is The People's Couch on Bravo. If you like to laugh out loud, you should watch it.
This song makes me want to dance and dance and dance.
Jimmy Fallon is one talented dude and The Roots are awesome. I've been going to bed earlier lately but luckily I can watch clips from all my favorite late night shows. Here's one when Jimmy Fallon filled in for YouTube and sang Desire. So good.
I love connecting and hanging out on Twitter and Instagram. Come on over and follow me on Twitter (@AngelaYBlood) and Instagram (@JumpingWithMyFingersCrossed) and let's hang out!
What do YOU know for sure this week? Let me know here or over on my Facebook page.
For the past couple weeks, I've been feeling a little vulnerable. Okay maybe more like a lot vulnerable and emotional. I feel a little over-informed, worried, anxious. The world feels scary and evil and like it's possibly ending. Pollution reports from the U.N., speculations and theories about why/how/where planes crash, devastating mudslides, teenagers climbing the new World Trade Center...it just all seems a little too much. I want to turn off every TV and not go online ever again. I want to hide, like a turtle in a shell. Or run around like a frantic chicken screaming "the sky is falling." I need sunshine (or antidepressants). I need a media break. I need to think like a four-year-old. Wade's world is pretty great. He is all about the moment. Sure he gets pissed if we are out of chocolate milk, but then Clifford comes on TV and he's happy again. The other day, a package arrived and just like a four-year-old should be, he was ecstatic about the box. He colored the box, he pretended the box was a car and then a pirate ship. In Wade's world, it was THE BEST THING EVER.
He even showed how awesome the box was to his little friend Sadie. The two of them played hide and seek for quite a while with the box. One would count, the other would hide...in the box. Over and over and over. They had so much fun.
When it started snowing yesterday, my heart started racing and I was convinced that the extreme weather conditions that "will affect all human life" negatively were happening right then and there. Like we were living in some freaky real-life version of Frozen, maybe we should build a bunker or go buy batteries. My mind was going a mile a minute and then I heard Wade say "look I can catch snowflakes on my tongue Mommy!" Even though we have lived in a frigid, snowy winter wonderland for months, he was still excited to see big fluffy snowflakes.
Because to a four-year-old, snowflakes and boxes are all kinds of awesome. Wade's world is about possibility and fun and what's that and look over there and wow and right now.
I took a deep breath, took a picture and then stood with my head to the sky, and my tongue out hoping to catch a snowflake. Hoping to let go of some of my anxiety and remember the possibility and the fun and the what's that and the look over there and the wow and the magic of right now.
All the pictures in this post were taken on my phone. Come play with me onInstagram.
Now Link Up for the #iPPP Greta, Angela (my LTYM co-producer & iPPP co-host-er) and I want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite phone photos of the week. Of course, it doesn't have to be from an iPhone. All you need is a blog post containing at least one photo from any phone camera. Link up below and don't forget to visit some of the others!
It was one of those weekends that I didn't think was going to be busy, but that's silly. With four kids every day of life is busy. Every day. But I'm not complaining, this weekend was totally my kind of busy.
Friday was another day off from school for the kids. We spent the afternoon at the library. One of my most favorite places in the world.
Peyton was a good sport, but wouldn't really have anything to do with the little kid area.
Saturday there was more snow and more stuff to do. We headed down to Detroit to volunteer at Cass Community Services (an amazing organization that is creating real change in the city).
We hung out with a great group of volunteers.
And then closed out the day with a quick game of hockey before the sun went down. It was kids versus parents. It got a little intense because well, we're all a little competitive. At one point I somebody was belly-crawling along the ice to score a goal.
Sunday was church, a few games of chess and then basketball.
Chess is almost as popular as hockey in my house right now and almost as intense.
There is nothing better than watching my girl run down the court with determination and confidence...going for it.
And there were a million other things in between.
Even though I may be too tired to write anything more or stay up to watch all of the Grammy awards, I feel happy. Happy and with a heart full of love and gratitude.
Ready for the week. Ready for the last week of January. Bring it.
The other night I was reading a book to Wade. It was a book I hadn't read in a while, The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats. As I read the quiet, simple book I started to feel something. "Crunch, crunch, crunch, his feet sank into the snow," I read. It was poetry. It was meditation. It was quiet. It was calm. What I was feeling was my shoulders relax and my mind stop racing.
Wade asked me to read it three times. I did. Each time I read it, my voice was quiet and I concentrated on each word carefully. I think he needed the calm, be-in-the-moment, shoulders relaxing, mind-stop-racing kind of feeling too.
I mean it's been a crazy couple weeks. Mostly all good, but just nuts. Jesus had a birthday party at church, breakfast with Santa, concerts, family visiting, crafts, memories to make, trees to cut down, good times to be had, specials to watch, parties to plan, parties to attend, all the regular homework, practices, work, running around here and there and everywhere.
And a lot of us have ended up like this:
Can't get much cuter in my opinion. And I don't even like animals.
And this:
This was on the way to his big brother's class party.
Being busy isn't anything new to our family, probably not yours either. But holiday busy is a whole other kind of busy.
The other morning I sat on the front porch stalking watching Peyton's middle school bus pull away (I know it's dumb but I feel better watching the bus pull away, that doesn't make me a helicopter type mom does it?), I sat for a few extra minutes. Snow was falling. The world was quiet and dark and beautiful. I could hear the muffled sounds of cartoons and little kid laughter coming from the living room window behind me. Off in the distance there was a sound like a quiet ocean. It was really a thousand commuters speeding carefully on the slick roads to work somewhere. Normally not such a beautiful sound, but in that moment it was sort of magical. My shoulders relaxed. My mind stopped racing. I was calm.
My snowy, dark porch.
Of course, moments later I was racing around like a mad woman getting lunches made for the other kids and finding snow pants and matching gloves and boots and hats and maybe cursing wintertime just a little. BUT I'll always have my morning meditative moment and that means something.
What I'm trying to say is...calm down, people. I know it's busy right now, but just breathe, relax your shoulders and maybe pick up a children's book and meditate for a minute, even if there are no children around. It's good to take a break, especially during this crazy, busy, sort of nuts holiday season, I know that for sure right now.
Here's what else I know for sure (this week):
My favorite Christmas jam this week has been old school Otis Redding. The divas are amazing, but dayum, Otis is amazing too.
Watching your kid go it alone is hard. Lucy was totally prepared for her holiday piano recital this week, but I was still a little bit of a wreck inside watching her go up on the little stage alone. It might as well have been Carnegie Hall. There was a lump in my throat--proud of her and hoping she felt happy.
I don't mind looking like an ass on YouTube. This week I sang a Christmas song and linked up with Mama Kat's Vlogging Prompts. Check it out:
Meryl Streep is my hero. I already knew that, but I know it even better this week. She stars as a crazy, southern, mean, drug-addicted mother in the new movie August: Osage County. Ahem, sound like anyone you know (or have read about here on this blog)? The more I learned about the character, I was worried it might be a little too close to home. But after watching Meryl talk about her character on The View this week, I am definitely going to see it. She said she had a wonderful mother but she chose to do the movie for a friend who didn't have a great mother. Her friend encouraged her to take the role for all the girls who "clawed their way past those people who told them they were nothing and you'll never be anything." Oh holy shit, Meryl, are you kidding me? I look forward to seeing this movie and as one of those girls, I say thank you.
It's almost showtime. The Christmas pageant is happening Christmas Eve and my whole family has roles, except for me. This year I get to watch Lucy be an angel, Peyton be a wise man and JT, Tim and Wade be Roman soldiers.
I can't not laugh at autocorrect fails. It's impossible. They are like the new America's Funniest Home Videos, which I also never could not laugh while watching. I dare you to click on this link and not laugh at least once.
What time is it? According to my boys, it's always football time. Rain or shine or snow, it's football time. Only have fifteen minutes before you have to go somewhere? No problem, it's football time. "One more play, mom, just one more play," my boys can be heard saying any time I tell them it's time to stop playing. And I'm not complaining. I love that they love to play outside.
The little kid in the Santa hat is indeed my youngest, Wade. Smack dab in the middle of the action.
What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. Leave a comment here or on myFacebook page or on Twitter.
I'm linking up today with my friends Greta from Gfunkified.comand Robin fromFarewellStranger.comfor the #iPPP link up. They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones.
