A Case of the Mondays

Mondays.  I f-ing love Mondays.

I always feel like I should get an award for getting through the weekends and making it to Monday.  Much like I used to feel like people should clap for me when I successfully loaded up two kids in the double stroller and made it to the park.  Or when I figured out how to use my BabyBjorn.  Sometimes I admit to looking around to see if anyone was there clapping for my amazing ordinary mothering moments.

I know it sounds awful that I say "getting through" my weekends. 

My husband, Tim, thought it would be a fun idea to make plastic bag shirts for the boys, so they could rip them off and pretend they're old school Hulk Hogan.  Yeah, great idea to teach my insane clown posse to play with plastic bags.  Just another  typical Friday evening around here.

Yes, getting through my weekends is exactly what I mean.  Besides the crazy wrestling games, somebody continually over schedules my family.  And yes, that somebody is me.

Zipping from hockey to baseball to gymnastics and cramming in hair cuts and dentist appointments to boot.  I want an award (or maybe I should be fired?).

Since no one is standing up to hand me a shiny gold medal, I have taken to rewarding myself.  Recently I've been rewarding myself with Nutella.  

I started out allowing myself the sweet indulgence spread onto four small gluten free animal cookies.  It was small jar of Nutella and dude, it's all natural, it's totally healthy.


Well I moved onto six cookies, then seven then simply dipping the cookies into the small jar.  Then I caved and bought the larger jar of Nutella.  I also moved onto finishing the bag of cookies.  Now I simply grab the large jar and a spoon and eat it like cereal.  It may sound excessive and gross, but it's not as weird as those people on TLC that eat toilet paper.


That's what I do to make myself feel better.  To make peace with my reward/excess/can't-quit-Nutella problem.  


My husband and I actually do this with everything.  


Some of these weekends make us wonder if we are sports crazy and pushing our kids too hard.  Then we meet Jane and Bob SportsFamily.  They tell us about the 15 out-of-state tournaments for their five kids.  They tell us how they are banking on college scholarships for their boys and maybe even the big leagues.  


Tim and I look at each other wink and know we are feeling way better about ourselves.  We are SO not crazy like Jane and Bob.


I know it's not right, right?  I shouldn't be dependent on other people for praise or comparisons to make myself feel better.  I shouldn't need Nutella to reward my weary soul.


The end.
Yup, that's the end.  I have no cute anecdote about how you should be okay with yourself and love yourself.  You should enjoy the weekends full of five million activities and love every second of it.  I will not write about how your kids will appreciate all that you do later.  This post will not include a feel good aw shucks moment.  Nope.


Here's my end: I am f-d up and need my Nutella (an award or round of applause wouldn't hurt either).  Hey it could be worse, at least I'm not like those people that need heroin to reward themselves, they are really f-d up.  


I love my kids, but they wear me out to the point that I fall asleep in public places.


"I want to master the art of sleeping without people knowing that I'm sleeping," I told my father after I marveled at his sleuth sleeping ability at my daughter's gymnastic class.


That's MY end.
Happy Monday. For all you tired ass mothers sleuth sleeping somewhere, I applaud you.


Sorry if this was a little harsh to start the week.  It could just be a "case of the Mondays."

Weekend Update

Thank god it's Monday.  The busy weekends are kicking my butt.  So much can happen in two days.


But I love me a Monday.  Manic Monday? Not here.  Mondays bring routine, schedules, kids in safe/happy learning environments (aka not at home fighting!), my normal daytime tv programming.  I must confess I like having the same cereal in the same bowl, with the same coffee, in the same coffee cup while watching the same "Today" show every Monday through Friday.  Is that weird?  Probably.  But it is comforting.  


And believe me, there is enough chaotic, exciting change and activity going on over the weekend.
Here is a Weekend Update:


There was house news.  We received an offer.  Now it is a waiting game.  Waiting on the banks to approve a short sale, appraisers to once again confirm the sad, sad low value of our home and everyone else that needs to give this little transaction approval to approve.  Fingers crossed.  


There was a plethora of sports: gymnastics for Lucy, hockey for JT and of course football playoffs for Peyton.  And breaking news, they won.  So the big Superbowl of pee-wee football is all set for next Sunday.  

There was a wedding.  But no sitter.  So, the kids accompanied us to the ceremony.  We were running late (Truth be told, because of a long line at Starbucks. I totally caved on the no caffeine thing and got a latte, but with soy because I am trying a no dairy thing now).  Frantically racing in the custom van, (which by the way recently several people have asked if it is a service bus) we didn't think we would make it to the church on time. I just had to type that last part to be obnoxious.  Anyway, my husband Tim suggested we slip in the back.  Yeah, I could really picture all six of us simply slipping in the back of the church.  But we made it with seconds to spare.


It was Tim's cousin's wedding, so of course it was a Catholic ceremony--a very beautiful ceremony, in a beautiful old church.  During communion, I sat with the kids in the pew as everyone went up to the altar for their bread and wine.  Lucy looked at me with a furrowed brow and asked "Why can't we go up?" 


"We aren't Catholic honey," I whispered.


She thought for a moment, looked around and then looked at me and said quite loudly, "So we are the only ones here that aren't Cathletic?"

She and I will discuss this at length I am sure.


Tim went onto the reception without me.  I went home and had an indoor picnic dinner with the kids.  

There was leaf raking.  My kids got really involved and raked their little hearts out.  Only problem was they were loving raking the neighbors' yard.  Why is it so much more fun to my kids to clean someone else's house or rake someone else's leaves?  My wonderful neighbors did come over and help me rake my yard, but sadly the kids had lost interest by then.

There was hours and hours of church.  Tim and I were in charge of passing out the trick-or-treat for UNICEF boxes to the kids and teach the lesson.  I love this program and am so proud that my kids got totally into it. 


Of course there was the carving of pumpkins, watching of "The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" and eating a nice Sunday family dinner. Breaking news--the baby Wade sat at the table without a booster or a high chair.  
Good stuff.
Happy Halloween!


Here is some more good stuff:


I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE this.  You must watch. Now these two are the ones that should host the Oscars! 

One of the best SNL Weekend Updates ever:

This is how I have felt the past two weeks with my giving up of caffeine and dairy, and my gluten cheats. I am "going all "Girl Interrupted.'"


UNICEF is an amazing organization, watch the video and do something.  Not to sound all like the lady who used to be on Archie Bunker, but it only takes a quarter to provide clean drinking water for a kid.  It is easy to be powerful and create change, really it is.


And finally, if you are still reading and watching...since I mentioned it, I must include the video.  It's just another Manic Monday! (which is really my fun day)