Celebrating Friendship and Life and A Giveaway

So I'm doing this fun and exciting project with my friend Christine. Here's what it's all about, what we are all about and how you can win a very cool hat.


                           *******

Christine and I have been friends for forever. We met in middle school and grew up to have very different lives. But we share a history, a love of life and a hope for the future that started when we played games like MASH.

We used to dance our hearts out at school dances. We spent the night at each other's houses, staying up late talking about the boys we liked and the lives we wanted when we grew up. We played MASH. We watched scary movies. We swam in her neighbor's pool on hot summer nights.  We were good friends living the life in middle school in the late 1980s.

In high school, we got even closer. We shared milestones like getting our driver's licenses and special events like being on the homecoming court. We still danced our hearts out at school dances and talked about boys we liked. We dated best friends for a little while. We spent hours and hours at each other's houses.  We filled out the quizzes in magazines and watched MTV and talked about the lives we wanted when we grew up.

The closer we got to being grown-ups the more we saw that being a grown up wasn't always as magical as it had seemed in 1989. The more time Christine spent at my house, the more she saw the troubling sides of my troubled mother. She knew more than almost any of my friends what was really going on in my home. Her house became a refuge for me. Her mom became a mother figure to me too. When my mother didn't come home one night, I called her mom. When one of my mom's boyfriends got too touchy feely with me, I called her mom. 

The more messy my life got, the less Christine and I hung out though. We had silly fights like girls do in high school. We were teenagers being teenager-y. Then we graduated and went to different colleges and moved away and sort of stayed in touch and sort of lost touch and ultimately didn't really know what happened to each other (this is how it was pre-Facebook, remember pre-Facebook?).

Fast forward 13 years, we literally ran into each other on the stairs of a gym. We talked. We realized we lived within a half-mile of each other (we live 3 hours away from where we grew up). We had lunch and caught each other up on our lives. Then we had lunch with her mother when she visited and we all caught up some more. 

We saw each other at the gym. We trained for a marathon at the same time and cheered each other on and supported each other. We had more lunches. Then Facebook happened and we found all the friends from all the years. We started having dinner with another good buddy from middle school that we discovered lived near us too (thank you Facebook). We danced our hearts out at our 20th high school reunion. 

Here we are on the dance floor at our 20th reunion
having so much fun and I think kind of owning the floor. 

In some ways, it was like nothing had changed. 

Something that hadn't changed however was my complicated, troubled mother. During one particularly rough period, I was talking to Christine and she said "You need my mom." And I did. Her mother met  me at a Cracker Barrel in Kalamazoo (our hometown and where my mom lived then). Her mom gave me advice and helped me and hugged me. Just like she had done in high school. 

Then Christine told me her mom had cancer. She was worried and heartbroken. So was I.

Christine dove into research and ways to help her mother. She devoted her life to it. Her mother is doing better, so much better than doctors thought she would be. 

                            *****

Being a grown up is messy and complicated and can break your heart. Friendships that last a lifetime can offer support and perspective and strength. Remembering the hope and excitement Christine and I felt for each other and the future as we filled out the quizzes and dreamt about what it would all look like makes us smile now. Friendships that last a lifetime are like going back in time a little bit. They feel like home. 

Christine and I have very different lives and are very different people in so many ways, but we have a history and we have lunch and we have laughs. And we are doing fun projects together to support each other. Christine created an apparel line, inspired by her mother, called BawareL.  

"I created the "B" with the modified cancer ribbon to symbolize my personal journey with my mom's battle with cancer and my positive result for the BRCA1 gene," she said. "The modified cancer ribbon signifies my desire and hope to see a shift and integration of more natural, alternative methods into the world of conventional prevention and treatment of cancer and other diseases."

She hopes to raise awareness and inspire people. I'm helping her spread her message. And hopefully inspire a few people with my own positive outlook on life. I'm so proud to be a part of her mission and help people live a more positive, healthier life. And to celebrate friendship and people that stick with you and moms that look out for their kid's friends and love and ahhhhh! 

Here's the link to her site- click here. 
If you live in the metro Detroit area, her merchandise is in two Rochester area Hallmark stores. Sharon's Hallmark at The Village and on S. Livernois. Go check her out!

And here are a few of our videos:

(Click here to watch the video.)

(Click here to watch the video.)

Here's how you can win a hat from BawareL.  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giving and Getting

"I didn't get any messages," my child said to me disappointedly. 

"Well kid, you get what you give," I replied as I drove to the next stop on our busy weekend schedule.  "Send someone a text, then you'll probably get one back."

The last thing I want to do is encourage more online activity in my family, but I do want to encourage the whole idea of getting and giving and expecting and connecting.

When I was around 12 years old, I dreamed of what it would be like to be older, to be the ultimate...a teenager.  I pictured big house parties, Jake Ryan giving me a birthday cake, having to decide between the quirky, nerdy guy and the rich, perfect guy.   Yeah, basically I pictured teenager land like being in a John Hughes movie.

My father told me that I could date when I was 15.  I could.not.wait.

When I turned 15, I just sort of thought guys would know that was THE age and start calling.  I thought it would just happen.  I hadn't quite gotten the whole idea of building relationships, connecting, giving and getting.  When there were no Jake Ryan-types bringing me birthday cakes or asking me out on dates, I was severely disappointed.  

It's taken me a long time to actually get this whole give and get idea.  

I have a tendency to keep people at arms' length, or worse push them away.  Maybe it's because of the whole nobody asking me out when I was 15, or more likely it's because of all of my other issues.  Whatever the reason, it is hard sometimes for me to reach out, know what to say, know what to do,  let people in, ask for help.  I'm afraid to let people down, be let down. 

Yesterday, I went to a luncheon for a friend who has four treatments left of chemotherapy.  She is beating the hell out of cancer.  She is amazing.  The table was full of people, her people, dressed in pink.  We were there to give her support and smiles and hugs and gifts and "you go girl's" and love.  Because she is an amazing, cancer ass-kicker, yeah because of that.  But also because she GIVES. She gives support and smiles and hugs and "you go girl's" and love to everyone.  Every person at that table could tell a story about how she encouraged them to do something big or sent them a message congratulating them about an award or a race or a new job or a new baby.  They could also tell you a story about a message she sent telling them how sorry she was about an illness or a miscarriage and how she offered to take them dancing or out for a drink when they were ready.  She gives.

This isn't really about karma...I'm talking about building relationships, putting ourselves out there, reaching out, connecting with each other.  Not expecting the text messages, the boyfriends, the relationships, or the world to come to us.  We have to risk being rejected and feeling vulnerable.  And give.

                          *********

Our busy weekend schedule included our first baseball tournament of the year.  In a dome.  I am not a fan of indoor baseball, but there are still patches of snow on the ground so okay.  Plus, it makes all my boys really happy.

On Sunday, there was sun. Sun!!!!!! AND it was 50 degrees.  We were all let's have a picnic! and not wear coats and run and smile and laugh and love life.  Dude, 50 and sunny is a big deal.

Check out sand and snow.  Oh Michigan, you are so weird.

Right On Universe, What I Know For Sure & #iPPP

I met my friend to walk the trail one morning this week hoping for a little exercise and good conversation.  We hugged hello and then she handed me a gift.  A gift that took my breath away.  

She was one of the first people that I told about being pregnant.  I cried to her and told her my fears.  She told me everything was going to be alright and she was going to knit a blanket for the baby.  I remember nodding and believing her.  I remember feeling sort of hopeful.

When I had the miscarriage, she asked me if she could finish the blanket.  She told me everything was going to be alright.  I nodded and almost believed her.  

Standing on the trail in the bright, warm October sun, she gave me the blanket and I started to cry.  Who is this friend who knows my heart so well?  Her gift was thoughtful, meaningful and just so right on. 

I got home later that day and another friend stopped by with flowers and a card.  Just because.  

She stayed and we talked about everything from what kind of tattoo I want (sorry, I'm obsessed) to spiritual hypocrisy and setting boundaries and how I loved her sparkly shirt and more. 

Later that night, I got a message from a friend on Facebook about practicing "radical self care."  It inspired me to take action.  The next day I did just that. While Wade was at speech therapy, instead of frantically running errands and trying to do as many things as possible in one hour, I went for a bike ride.  I rode to a restaurant with chairs and tables set up outside.  I ordered the cheapest fancy coffee on the menu, a Cafe Americano.  I sat outside, I drank coffee and I read a book.  I have not done something like that in probably 15 years.  It felt so right on.

The universe was sending me friendship and love.  It was encouraging me to stop pleasing or attempting to please everyone else and do simple things that make me happy.  It was all kinds of right on.  But one of the things I love about the universe is she has a sense of humor.  And she likes to keep it real.

As I was sitting at the cafe soaking up the sun, feeling young and happy and so alive and saying "right on" in my mind over and over, a large stick fell from a tree. The stick fell right onto my table missing my head and more importantly my coffee by inches.  And then two minutes later, my cell phone started ringing and the word "mother" showed up on my screen.

That's what life is--feeling the pain, being open to love and goodness and friendship, radical self care and dodging sticks and ignoring calls from crazy mothers.  I know that for sure this week. 

Here's what else I know for sure (this week):

• I love that Wade calls Tim's ties his "work scarves."

• Father/Daughter Dance photo booths are the bomb.

• Here are some simple, yet sort of chic, ideas to decorate for Halloween.  This is good, short video.

• So much of my life happens on my front porch and I love it.

• I have a strange urge to pull the Stop button when I am in an elevator.  

• This video "An Interpretive Dance For My Boss Set To Kanye West's Gone" is brilliant.  I know there is a mom version out there and that's good too, but I LOVE this one.

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

Please come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed. 

All the pictures in this post were taken with my phone.

I'm linking up today with my friends Greta from  Gfunkified.com and Sarah from SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. 

Check them out.

Escape of the Stay at Home Moms

"And we're off!," we screamed into the wind.  Laughing with hysteria and a wild look in our eyes.


We were off on an adventure.  An adventure of freedom, self expression and rebellion.

My pal Stephanie and I were the new Thelma and Louise.
Except we were taking off in a giant custom van, not a blue Thunderbird convertible.  We weren't smoking cigarettes, we were sucking down lattes.  And we weren't running away for weeks from husbands and boyfriends, we were running away for a couple hours from kids and mom responsibilities.
And hopefully it wouldn't end with a cliff.


We were on our way to a political meeting where we hoped to meet and greet an important senator from Washington.  A woman role model we both admire.


It took a lot to get us out of the house.  Childcare needed to be secured, meet up locations needed to be decided and more.  By the time we were on the road we realized we didn't have an address for the meeting.


"Just start driving," was my pal's good advice.
So I did.


We ended up in a not so nice part of a nearby town, but we felt safe in our giant,sturdy custom van.  Stephanie was trying to remember how to navigate the mean streets where she frequented as a somewhat delinquent youth.  But since that was over 20 years ago, details were sketchy and we just ended up even more lost. 


We had two iphones and an ipad working with us to get us there, but they weren't much use without an address.  


"Oh, watch out a cop," said Stephanie, having a flashback.  


"We aren't doing anything illegal," I reminded her.  "Stupid isn't a crime."


Oh we thought that was soooooo funny.  


Thelma and Louise we were not.  More like younger versions of lame "Golden Girls."  


We had a similar experience one time when we ran away on a trip to Washington, D.C. together.  Beyond giddy, we almost skipped off the plane and onto the bus that would take us where we wanted to go (another political adventure). Problem was we weren't exactly sure then either exactly where we wanted/needed to go.  


We rode that bus round and round in the circle around Reagan National Airport.  


Until finally, a well-traveled looking business man took pity on us.  He asked us where we were headed and pointed us in the right direction.  "Are you guys from Minnesota?" he asked not being able to conceal his amusement with us/at us.  Maybe our Michigan accents are thicker than we realized.  


I call it our Rose Nylund, or our Golden Girl moment.


You see, as cliche stay-at-home mothers it feels damn good to run away.  It feels even better to run away on a purposeful, politically-minded mini adventure with a pal.


So we may get the details muddled, but we have a hell of a time.

Steph, Debbie Wasserman Schultz (the DNC chairwoman) and me and my distracting flower pin.

And on this particular morning, we made it to our meeting.  We met our role model.  

And we felt like we mattered outside of our little worlds.  And it felt f#*@ing great.

On another note, someone didn't get the family memo about my mission to not forget about Thanksgiving. Santa socks to school Lucy? Really?   

I cannot believe it has been 20 years since this movie came out.  I also cannot believe "at the age of 37" in the Marianne Faithfull song used to seem sooooo old.

Never gets old to me...