Celebrating Friendship and Life and A Giveaway

So I'm doing this fun and exciting project with my friend Christine. Here's what it's all about, what we are all about and how you can win a very cool hat.


                           *******

Christine and I have been friends for forever. We met in middle school and grew up to have very different lives. But we share a history, a love of life and a hope for the future that started when we played games like MASH.

We used to dance our hearts out at school dances. We spent the night at each other's houses, staying up late talking about the boys we liked and the lives we wanted when we grew up. We played MASH. We watched scary movies. We swam in her neighbor's pool on hot summer nights.  We were good friends living the life in middle school in the late 1980s.

In high school, we got even closer. We shared milestones like getting our driver's licenses and special events like being on the homecoming court. We still danced our hearts out at school dances and talked about boys we liked. We dated best friends for a little while. We spent hours and hours at each other's houses.  We filled out the quizzes in magazines and watched MTV and talked about the lives we wanted when we grew up.

The closer we got to being grown-ups the more we saw that being a grown up wasn't always as magical as it had seemed in 1989. The more time Christine spent at my house, the more she saw the troubling sides of my troubled mother. She knew more than almost any of my friends what was really going on in my home. Her house became a refuge for me. Her mom became a mother figure to me too. When my mother didn't come home one night, I called her mom. When one of my mom's boyfriends got too touchy feely with me, I called her mom. 

The more messy my life got, the less Christine and I hung out though. We had silly fights like girls do in high school. We were teenagers being teenager-y. Then we graduated and went to different colleges and moved away and sort of stayed in touch and sort of lost touch and ultimately didn't really know what happened to each other (this is how it was pre-Facebook, remember pre-Facebook?).

Fast forward 13 years, we literally ran into each other on the stairs of a gym. We talked. We realized we lived within a half-mile of each other (we live 3 hours away from where we grew up). We had lunch and caught each other up on our lives. Then we had lunch with her mother when she visited and we all caught up some more. 

We saw each other at the gym. We trained for a marathon at the same time and cheered each other on and supported each other. We had more lunches. Then Facebook happened and we found all the friends from all the years. We started having dinner with another good buddy from middle school that we discovered lived near us too (thank you Facebook). We danced our hearts out at our 20th high school reunion. 

Here we are on the dance floor at our 20th reunion
having so much fun and I think kind of owning the floor. 

In some ways, it was like nothing had changed. 

Something that hadn't changed however was my complicated, troubled mother. During one particularly rough period, I was talking to Christine and she said "You need my mom." And I did. Her mother met  me at a Cracker Barrel in Kalamazoo (our hometown and where my mom lived then). Her mom gave me advice and helped me and hugged me. Just like she had done in high school. 

Then Christine told me her mom had cancer. She was worried and heartbroken. So was I.

Christine dove into research and ways to help her mother. She devoted her life to it. Her mother is doing better, so much better than doctors thought she would be. 

                            *****

Being a grown up is messy and complicated and can break your heart. Friendships that last a lifetime can offer support and perspective and strength. Remembering the hope and excitement Christine and I felt for each other and the future as we filled out the quizzes and dreamt about what it would all look like makes us smile now. Friendships that last a lifetime are like going back in time a little bit. They feel like home. 

Christine and I have very different lives and are very different people in so many ways, but we have a history and we have lunch and we have laughs. And we are doing fun projects together to support each other. Christine created an apparel line, inspired by her mother, called BawareL.  

"I created the "B" with the modified cancer ribbon to symbolize my personal journey with my mom's battle with cancer and my positive result for the BRCA1 gene," she said. "The modified cancer ribbon signifies my desire and hope to see a shift and integration of more natural, alternative methods into the world of conventional prevention and treatment of cancer and other diseases."

She hopes to raise awareness and inspire people. I'm helping her spread her message. And hopefully inspire a few people with my own positive outlook on life. I'm so proud to be a part of her mission and help people live a more positive, healthier life. And to celebrate friendship and people that stick with you and moms that look out for their kid's friends and love and ahhhhh! 

Here's the link to her site- click here. 
If you live in the metro Detroit area, her merchandise is in two Rochester area Hallmark stores. Sharon's Hallmark at The Village and on S. Livernois. Go check her out!

And here are a few of our videos:

(Click here to watch the video.)

(Click here to watch the video.)

Here's how you can win a hat from BawareL.  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Meatloaf and Kale--A Pinterest Poser Challenge

I haven't been super crafty lately because of all the back-to-school stuff and starting a new job and new routines, and then of course being so damn sick last week. BUT I am still searching Pinterest for all the pretty things I want to create and even inspiration for healthy recipes and possible germ-busting smoothies.  

This week's Pinterest Poser Challenge* is making a healthy smoothie that will keep the flu away.  I found the recipe from this pin (click here) from SuperHealthyKids.com.

*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week-ish I detail a new project/idea/recipe inspired by Pinterest.
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.


It seemed simple and totally doable to make this super healthy smoothie, and it was.

Here are the ingredients- 1 teaspoon of Flax Seed, 1 cup of pomegranate juice, 1 cup of frozen mixed berries, 1 cup of kale. 

Blend.

Pour into glass and get ready to drink.

As a bonus it's supposed to taste good.  That shouldn't be too hard right? Except this week is when I found out, I don't like kale unless it's hidden in a soup with bacon and sausage. Uh-oh. This week's challenge is a total fail...well not the smoothie, me. I'm the fail because it seems like I will do anything to stay healthy EXCEPT drink a smoothie with kale in it.  

You guys, it tasted really, really bad. I almost cried.

Basically, this week I'm having a total Meatloaf moment---you know, an "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that" moment (replace love with my health and you get the idea). Inspired by this very dramatic live version of Meatloaf's song posted below. Seriously watch this and dance around your kitchen and then picture me dancing around my kitchen to it dramatically throwing out all of my kale. Because dude, I will do anything for my health, but I won't do that!



(Click here to watch the awesome video.)

Wade isn't sure what the hell is going on with all the early morning picture taking and my dramatic dancing to Meatloaf, he's just glad I'm not going to make him drink kale.

Have you made anything inspired by Pinterest lately? Do you like kale? Let me know in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

Come follow me on Pinterest (click here).

Here are some of the Pinterest projects I've done/made/attempted:

Power Tools- click here

Painting Sticks- click here

Homemade Pesto- click here

DIY Map Craft- click here

Homemade Chalk Paint- click here

A Flower Crown- click here

The Rainbow Challenge- click here

DIY Trundle Bed- Click here

DIY Artemis Costume- click here

Taking Pictures of Your Kids- click here

Gluten Free Pretzels- click here

Cinnamon Sugar Doughballs- click here

Painted Lockers- click here

Melted Beads- DIY Suncatcher- click here

Tissue Paper Pom Pom Garland-- click here

A Delightfully Simple Birthday Party--click here
Make An Awesome Omelet--click here
Outdoor Lights Inspired by the show Parenthood- click here
Herb Garden with Chalkboard Pots- click here
Backyard Graffiti Art with kids- click here

Happiness Notecards- click here

Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here

Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here

Make Your Own Magnets- click here

DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here

Dixie Cup Lights- click here

DIY Ornaments-click here

Gluten Free Clay- click here

Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here

Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here

Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here

Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here

Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here

Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here

Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here

Fake Bangs- click here

DIY Subway Art- click here

Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here

Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here

The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here

The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click hereThe Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

Second Opinions, Second Chances, Second Thoughts

A Second Opinion, An update on my son:

We walked into the doctor's office full of fear.  The sign on the door said "hematology and oncology."  The atmosphere was serious, tense, quiet.

"It's your body, if you have questions, please ask, don't be afraid," I told Peyton hoping to empower him and take a little of the fear away.

We were waiting to see the specialist to go over the results of the 20 vials of blood that were taken to rule out everything from Lyme disease to Leukemia to a protein deficiency.  After a bad concussion in May and multiple visits to a neurologist and MRIs and tests, we found ourselves waiting in an office with "hematology and oncology" on the door.

The doctor went over test results, talked with the neurologist on the phone while we were in the room, examined Peyton and then told us his thoughts.  

"He's good," he announced.  "I mean we have to watch him and check his protein levels every three months, but if it's low we'll treat him with medicine. He's healthy."

Tim and I let out a sigh of relief simultaneously. It felt like we hadn't exhaled in two weeks. Then the doctor asked if we had any questions.  Peyton spoke up just like I had encouraged, well sort of.

"Does that mean I can play football?," he asked.

"I don't see why not," the doctor said.  "You are young and healthy and need to live your life."

Peyton sat up straighter and beamed with happiness. I sucked in my breath again and felt like I was going to pass out.

As we left the doctor's office, we told Peyton that we would have to talk and figure things out.  What should have been a joyous occasion (leaving a doctor's office with a "your son is healthy" and feeling grateful about him not having cancer and being alive and ahhhh!) wasn't. I was torn. I was worried. I was scared of my healthy son playing football.

After meeting with the neurologist two weeks earlier and finding out about a potential blood clotting disorder, upon his suggestion we had ruled out football for this year.  But now, doctors were saying it was okay. We called the neurologist who cleared him for play since the test results came back much better than he had originally feared.

The decision was on Tim and me.  

An update on Tim and me:

Tim wanted him to play right away after he heard he was cleared. I did not. 

What I really want is it to be 1978 and nobody knows anything about concussions and all the moms and dads are smoking in the stands of their kids' football games telling them to "hit harder."  Because you better believe I'd be there with my feathered hair and my pack of Marlboro's cheering on my kid louder than the other moms.

I want to be a good mom and a good wife and a good person. I want to make all the right decisions. I want everything to be okay always and forever.

But things aren't okay when you and your spouse/best friend/love of your life and you don't agree on something that involves parenting.  It sucks.  

My knee-jerk/child-of-divorce reaction is always "oh shit Tim this is how it all begins...people fight about __________ and then they start living separate lives and then they get divorced and lives are ruined forever."  Insert "money"  or "working too much" or "how they don't go on enough dates" or "their kid playing football" into the blank space--I am always afraid of divorce no matter how strong our marriage is and has been and hopefully always will be. 

I believe that we (our marriage/our family) will eventually be stronger because of my fear and the fact that we are dealing with the tough stuff and having all the conversations (and I mean all of them because I am a talker about all things) and because Tim is an amazing guy who listens and talks and cares. But it sucks when you don't totally agree on a parenting decision and this is new territory for us.

A Second Chance, An update on our decision:

Peyton is playing football.

Second Thoughts, An update about how our decision feels:

Peyton is happy and healthy and enjoying football practices.

Tim and I are happy that he is happy and healthy and enjoying football.

Tim and I are still having all the talks and working through all of the stuff (and madly in love and staying married forever because, duh).

I am preparing myself for the season--sitting in the stands, watching my boys, cheering for them, not worrying myself into a panic attack, trusting doctors and specialists.  And I am preparing myself for people that think I'm messing up.

Usually I am a pretty confident person, some might say bad ass, maybe.  I know who I am. I can take criticism. You don't like that I dance online, I get it. You don't like that I am a Democrat, I get it. No big deal. Being different is good. If we all agreed about everything the world would be boring. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I mean I wish more people were Democrats and that everyone liked me all the time, but I get it. 

BUT I feel particularly vulnerable about football and my kid and my marriage and my/our choices.  Because I'm still uncertain and scared and unsure.  Because I don't want to hear your horror story or why you don't let your kid play football. Because if you don't agree with me I hope you lift me and my family up in prayer instead of judgement. Because even if you don't agree with me, I would so appreciate any love or support or high-fives or nods of encouragement right now. Because I know we can't be the only parents that have made hard decisions or disagreed or muddled our way through or were unsure but full of love, I mean we can't be the only ones.

Put Yourself Higher on the List

**I participated in this sponsored campaign on behalf of REACH® and One2One Network. **

"It's been two years," I said immediately avoiding eye contact and laughing a little too loudly.  "I've been really busy, you know and um, I mean I brush my teeth all the time and I promise I floss, I do. I really do."

The woman I was confessing all of my dental sins was a very kind hygienist who was holding a paper bib up, patiently waiting for me to finish talking before putting it around my neck.  I'm sure she's heard worse. I mean right?

Not only am I possibly one of the most annoying dental patients in history, I am (once again) the thing I keep fighting against and denying that I am....a cliche.  I am the guilt-ridden mom who has lost her way on the fitness/nutrition journey and almost always puts herself last cliche.  

My doctor, dentist and hair appointments are at the end of a very busy, kid-centered to-do list.  And I'm starting to feel the effects of it all. I've gained weight, fallen off the no-soda wagon in a huge way, set a record of the number of days between highlights and failed to schedule my mammogram for over a year. Even my kids are noticing my lack of self-care. When my pre-schooler drew a picture of me for Mother's Day this year he included my "black roots" in my "yellow hair."

Wade's version of me, dark roots and all.

It's amazing how fast it all happens. How easy it is to put yourself last on a list, become a cliche and find yourself apologizing in a dentist office chair.

"No need to say you are sorry," the hygienist told me.  "It happens. The most important thing is you are here now. It's never too late to put yourself a little higher on the list."  Then she put the paper bib on me and started cleaning my teeth.

That ultra-patient, brilliant hygienist is right. It's not too late. 

Sometimes I get overwhelmed and intimidated by all the Pinterest posts and hashtags about "self care" and getting healthier.  I feel like I need to train for a 1/2 marathon, buy all kinds of wraps, make homemade kale smoothies for every meal, read a classic novel, and soak in a bubble bath in order to call it "self care."  Which all makes me feel like a failure at "self care" and I go and eat shredded cheese out of the bag, drink diet coke and fall asleep watching The Real Housewives (without brushing my teeth!).  It's a vicious cycle.

But you know what else is on Pinterest? Optimistic quotes about picking yourself up when you mess up again and again.  So, loaded with inspirational quotes and the brilliant hygienist's kind words, I am making some changes and putting myself a little higher on the list.

Just like all the romantic comedies when the main character pulls herself together after a break-up, I am figuring it out. I am discovering that even small changes can make a big difference. Going to the dentist and making my mammogram appointment.  Waking up early and going for a jog.

Up with the sunrise to jog a few miles. I love feeling accomplished before 7 a.m.

Going to bed earlier. Laying off the shredded cheese. Letting go of the guilt for not getting it right all the time.  Letting go of feeling like a failure because I am not training for a 1/2 marathon. Embracing the fact that I enjoy The Real Housewives.  Putting my phone down during the day and not worrying because I am not responding to the thread on Facebook.  Going for a walk after dinner with my dogs. Laughing more. 

I am finding more ways to simplify taking care of myself and my health, like reading a chapter of my book while the kids are at practice. And finding products that make all this self care a little easier, for example the REACH® Complete Care™.  

REACH® Complete Care™ says their products keep proper oral care all within REACH by "streamlining and solving a busy mom's daily routine to ensure they maintain healthy smiles year-round." I love that. 
For more information about REACH® Complete Care™ click here- https://bit.ly/AllWithinREACH

The REACH® Complete Care™ Mouth Rinse also comes equipped with a toothbrush holder, which ensures the head of the toothbrush stays clear of any countertop bacteria. My rinse/toothbrush holder is set to the side to indicate to my large family that it is mine, all mine. I not only love the efficient design, I love that I have something of my own in this house.  The mouth rinse makes my teeth and my whole mouth feel cleaner and better. It is called an "8-in-1 rinse" which means it kills bad breath germs, helps prevent gingivitis, reduces plaque, fights tartar build-up, freshens breath and cleans your mouth. I seriously can't wait to tell my brilliant hygienist "friend" about this product.

It's the little things. It's brushing teeth and having my own space. It is not apologizing for any of it--not taking the time to take care of myself or the fact that I forgot to do it in the first place--but yet being accountable. 

I've got my back.

Self care, complete care, radical self care, having your own back...whatever you call it do it.  Put yourself higher on the list.

I received a REACH® product for free in order to facilitate this post, but all opinions are my own. 

Football and Life and the Big Picture

"This is a defining moment," I told my son, Peyton, as I took his hand.  "You will have a million more of these as you grow up. It's important that you take some time and think about this. Think about how you are going to handle yourself. Are you going to stay down and upset or are you going to work through it and figure out how to move on."

We had just gotten home from the neurologist's office where my 13-year-old son had learned he couldn't play football in the upcoming season, he was devastated.  The trauma from a concussion earlier in the year was preventing his return to the game he loves.

When we arrived at the doctor's office, I had a list of questions prepared.  I had spent time researching concussions on the ultra scary  WebMD.  I watched Dr. Oz and talked to friends and gotten input on Facebook from almost everyone. I felt prepared.  But when we sat in the doctor's office last Wednesday, surrounded by machines and posters detailing every little detail of the brain I was speechless.  My mouth felt dry and my throat was itchy. When the doctor asked if we had any questions, I might have touched my throat dramatically and mouthed "Waaaaterrrrr."

After we got the news from the doctor, it was my job to be wise and calm and not show my relief that the doctor agreed football was off the table and/or my fear about the blood clotting issue the doctor ordered more testing for.

It all got very real, very fast.

Peyton was upset, but holding it together barely.
He is almost 14. Football with his friends is a big deal. I get it. I remember being 14. 

Sitting in the doctor's office, grabbing my throat, wishing I had water, I tried to think of the right words to say. I summoned every episode of "The Brady Bunch" or any other show or pop culture icon from which I always summon great wisdom and parenting advice. But nothing prepared me for "you got a really bad concussion in gym class that tipped you off to a possible deadly blood clotting disorder and made your parents totally freak out and think about losing you and the whole fragility of life and woah at least one of your parents is kind of going through a mid-life crisis and feeling all vulnerable and prone to depression and fucking afraid because they don't want to think about you or anyone dying but especially you because YOU are their kid and their true love and THE thing they did right in this life and holy woah life is deep and fragile and beautiful, and wear a helmet everywhere and who EVER thought football was a good idea? but they want you to be happy and defining moments are hard and you know well, it's tough."

Yeah, defining moments, man, they are tough. So is football though.

Football has always been part of the deal.  When I met my husband I knew he loved football. He played football in high school and college and became a high school football coach.  His three brothers played football in high school and college. It was more than loving the sport, it was sort of family lore. Four brothers playing football and being the first generation to go to college with football scholarships. It is a pretty incredible story.

I knew if I had sons they would be encouraged to play football. I just didn't bet on having three sons.

All the boys after one of Peyton's game last year, including Tim and his dad.

When Peyton first started playing football and falling in love with football, I cried and worried a lot.  But then I started enjoying watching him play and ultimately cheered him on and even encouraged him to hit harder a time or two.  I loved the organization he played football with, an organization I had resisted for years because I had heard they were too intense and the moms were crazy (as sports moms can be, I mean seriously they can be worse than dads, I've seen it firsthand).  But while this organization had a couple crazy moms and an over-yelling coach or two, overall it was superb. The coaches cared about the kids and teaching them the game. They taught the best parts of football-- teamwork, loyalty, friendship, competitiveness, how to win and lose graciously and how to work hard for something you love.  And they had fun.  Peyton loved the whole program. He loved being with his friends.  I loved hanging with the my friends in the stands watching the games every Saturday or Sunday.

It was so fun to see how the boys bonded through football and cheering each other on and watching JT look up to Peyton.

All of the good stuff almost made me forget that it's a really rough sport and I'm scared of the hitting and there is a new story seemingly everyday about how dangerous football is. Somehow because Peyton is a really big and tough kid and surrounded by really nice people, I thought he'd be okay.  And he was during the last four years he played football. Peyton got his grade three (aka the worst of the worst) concussion in gym class at school. 

Since his concussion last May, he's been really lucky and had no lingering symptoms. After a month of mild panic attacks right after his concussion, I thought I had no lingering anxiety. But sitting in that doctor's office unable to speak, it all came back--the fear, the unknown, my lack of coping skills and the fact that I needed to parent my kid through a defining moment. 

The doctor told us that the trauma was so intense it wasn't a good idea to play football this season, that his brain needed time to heal. Then the doctor mentioned a blood clotting issue that "concerns" him because he's never seen it in someone so young that didn't have a pre-existing condition. At that point, I wasn't only speechless, my heart was racing.  I forgot about football, but Peyton didn't.

Peyton is almost 14, football with his friends is a big deal.  I get it, I remember being 14.

So yeah, here we are with appointments with specialists and hematologists lined up, having big talks about fear and coping and learning how to not get too down about setbacks or too worried about all the unknowns and how to wait for test results without going crazy. 

It's not just Peyton having a defining moment, it's sort of me too. I'm worried about my boy being healthy and actually find myself hoping he can return someday to a sport that makes me crazy nervous. I am hoping I say all the right things and do all the right things to parent him through this.  I feel like I'm sort of paving my own way, there's no Brady Bunch episode for this situation (I mean, I'm open if anyone knows of a very special Brady episode that could help!).  


Yeah, defining moments, man, they are tough. So am I though, I think.