Too-Much-Ahhh

I talk a lot about moments.  Living in the moment, embracing the moment, not missing the moment. But what if the moment sucks?  What if the moment is so filled with stress and awkwardness it chokes you?  What if the moment is so crowded with years of hurt feelings and misunderstandings?  What if all you want to do is get out of the moment?

Part of my trip was that moment, that moment I felt stuck in.  I felt trapped in a role I was cast in years ago as the emotional, sensitive one.  The one that has too many feelings.  The misfit, the broken one.  The trip was after all a family reunion.   A reunion with great expectations and well, a lot of messy feelings and broken people.

I usually dig these reunions of past and present and future.  All the generations taking a break from the messy brokenness and going to the beach.  Laughing, connecting, sharing stories of relatives we didn't know, passing down family legends and jokes.  Not hiding from the past, more like embracing the parts that they and we all lived through.  And at the same time making new memories and new inside jokes.

This year, it just wasn't working for some of us.  Sometimes a line is crossed that breaks open a flood of bottled up resentment that has more power than the crashing waves on the shore.  

My brother told this story about his friend from Sicily.  His friend is a well-liked man with many friends.  He loves to talk and listen.  But sometimes when the talks turn into a heated political debate or ideas that are too far out for him, he throws his hands up dramatically, closes his eyes and says in his thick Italian accent "Too-much-ahhh" and walks away.

This, my friends, is what you do when a moment is suffocating you.  This, my friends, is what I did with those moments of my week.  Sometimes it was a joke to my brother, sometimes it was in my room at night after a good cry.  But it worked.  Because most of the "conflict" was way Too-much-ahhhh.

So, I focused on my present and my future....my four kiddos.  And while it was exhausting not to let on that I was feeling any bit of uncomfortableness, I pulled it off.  They had no idea and they had so much fun.  And I had fun with them.

I focused on the moments full of hope and light and wonder and love and magic.

Moments of collecting shells and sea creatures.  Sometimes discovering perfect shells, but finding beauty in the broken ones too.

Jumping waves and running from the big ones.

Playing Marco Polo because it's the best pool game ever invented, duh.

Celebrating 45 years of lasting love and marriage with puffy paint posters and seashell frames (and champagne and complete and total admiration if you're a grown up).

Cheering on brave body surfers.  My kids had no fear of the ocean which is great, but also completely Too-Much-Ahhhh.  While I was on the shore with Wade, the other kids went out chasing waves and body surfing.  I constantly counted heads as they popped up.  I felt like Carol Brady anxiously watching from the beach. Remember the Hawaii episode where Greg was surfing and then didn't pop up after crashing into a wave?  Thank goodness none of my kids were wearing a cursed medallion. 

Making wishes.  Which was all very magical in fountains surrounded my palm trees, live oaks and street performers in Savannah (one of my favorite cities).

Catching Lulu daydreaming.

We left the beach and drove to Alabama to visit more family.  Every summer I go to my spend time with my cousin.  In the same town I've been going to every summer of my life.  It was a great way to wrap up the trip.  We all went to a minor league baseball game in the same stadium that I used to go to when I was a kid.  

Making the 13 hour drive back to metro Detroit yesterday, I was tired.  Tired from all the playing, all the getting stuck in a bad moment and getting unstuck, all the overthinking, overfeeling, all the fun, and all the god damn driving.  

We made our annual stop at GunTown Mountain Kentucky (another one of my favorite places remember this and this?).  "Half Off Everything" signs were posted on the doors of the country store.  We walked in and were greeted by the amazing Miss Della who has run the store for the past 45 years.  (And remembers us when we stop by every summer!)

"It's a big sale today," I told her.

"Yeah, I'm retiring and shutting the place down," she said in a voice that so closely resembles my grandmother's it my makes my heart hurt.

All of a sudden, it was Too-Much-Ahhhh.  My eyes filled up with tears and the kids asked "what's wrong mom?" for the first time the whole trip.

"Um, I'm just sad, this won't be here and we won't see Della," I said, my voice cracking.  It was that and everything else good and bad from the last 11 days.

Della reached over and grabbed my hand and said, "Well hon, it's going to be okay, it's all going to be okay."

And I believe her.

Looking Back

Memorial Day is a day of remembering.  Remembering those brave souls that died in service defending our freedom.  Remembering family and friends we have lost.

It's also a day of barbecues, block parties and picnics.  It's the officially the unofficial kickoff of summertime.

So, I hope that you are barbecuing or block partying while you are remembering. I hope that as you look ahead to the summer that is just beginning you are filled with hope, happiness and sunshine.  That sounds a little hokey and sappy for me.  But something happens to me in the good old summertime, I get nicer, happier, more patient, more fun.  I love summertime.

Here's a look back at one of my happiest memories from last summer, our road trip.  The road trip in the  van without air conditioning that should have made me grumpy and spiteful, but it turned out to renew my faith in humanity.  

Yup, it w as a big deal.
Click here to read all about it.

Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Walk the Line

This week I will be playing the role of an over emotional, slightly irrational almost 40-year-old mother of four who struggles with change.  Oh wait, that's my role every week.  Ugh.


Sorry folks, but this week it's going to be a little more intense.  I dropped my two oldest children off in another state and I am prepping to go back in time (to a sometimes not so happy time) circa my 20th high school reunion.


I drove to Pittsburgh, PA straight from closing ceremonies of a busy week of vacation bible school (VBS) at our church.  A week where my kids sang sweet songs, made new friends, hung out with old friends, learned mildly (and not so mildly) scary stories about the Crucifixion and made crafts. 

A week where I ran the snack room and felt like a youth group volunteer hanging with my buddies in the kitchen.

Most of the snacks we served were healthy.  I bought 40 pounds of grapes last week.  Okay, the most popular snacks involved spray cheese and other not so healthy options.

Armed with our VBS CD, snacks and a slightly better working AC (still no husband who happened to be out of town for work) we headed off for the Burgh where Grandpa Camp awaited my two oldest children.  


Last year was the first year Peyton and Lucy went away for a week with my dad.  It was hard for me, but amazing for them.  They have looked forward to going back probably since the day they left last summer.


This summer has been an interesting challenge for me as a mother.  After JT broke his arm, I went through an "everything is scary, danger lurks everywhere" phase for a couple weeks.  I thought I was over it, but my "don't be afraid of living" attitude was challenged within the first 30 minutes of our arrival to Pittsburgh.  

My dad lives on a cliff in the south side of Pittsburgh.  An incline car used to carry people up the cliff many, many years ago where his house now sits.  There are remnants of those old incline cars/lines still on his property.  There is a roof top deck, 30-foot walls, steep staircases, a hot tub and more.  These are some of the reasons why Grandpa Camp is only for the older kids.


But those older (supposed to be wiser) kids proceeded to sit on top of that 30-foot wall upon our arrival.  My dad and I knew not to react too excitedly or they might fall.  I am not kidding.  We had to talk my kids off the ledge.  They had no idea of the danger, they hadn't even looked at the other side.  How did I raise such not-very-smart kids?


I couldn't sleep that night.  I couldn't get the image out of my head of what could've been.  Then every could've been ever started running through my mind.  It was 1 a.m. and I called my husband who was driving home from the airport in Michigan.  "Tell me stories of all the dangerous things you and your brothers did growing up," I begged.  I needed to hear kid survival stories.


He sure gave them to me.  Stories of riding 40 mph on dirt bikes with no helmets through the woods at age 10, jumping off the roof of his house, seeing how long they could hold onto the electric fence before being knocked down to the ground with electricity and more good stuff.


Kids do scary things, dumb things.  It's normal to be not-so-smart.  My dad and his wife will love them and look after them, they will be safe. And I am beyond happy that my children get to spend time with my father and make such special memories.  They will have the time of their life and look forward to camp next year.  And I will dwell in a place of happiness and anxiety, joy and fear.  I will walk the line of parenthood (and sanity).


As I drove away to head home with my two littlest boys in the van, they asked to hear the VBS music.  Reluctantly, I put in the CD and started playing the songs that we heard only 2,035 times the last week.  I started singing louder and louder.  I cried a little.  I felt the music.  I felt the lyrics.  "Isn't this great kids?" I yelled back.  No reply.  My little boys were sleeping.  I shrugged and continued singing to God to give me strength for the journey home and beyond.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

We made it home a day earlier than we anticipated.  
It was great to see Tim.  But it's happening already, the post vacation blues.  

Did the past week really happen?

I felt brave, bold and a little crazy traipsing across the southeastern states with nothing but my kids and a sense of adventure. I was the fun mom, the yes mom.  There was nothing mundane or ordinary about any day.

This morning, I woke up to a messy house, a giant pile of laundry and a stack of bills to pay. To just make it more normal,  Wade's diaper leaked and he peed in my bed, the bed he crawled into in the middle of the night.  Yes, I am home.


Here's a short video of our adventure.  It did happen.

C'mon, I had to put this Soul II Soul video up...Back to Life.  I've been singing it all morning.

What Would Maria Do?

Travelling with four kids, no husband and unreliable air conditioning is a little intimidating.  Yes, I had a few mini panic attacks before we left.  But ultimately, I believe getting away should be fun and exciting--an adventure.


In preparation for our adventure, here's what we did:


Made and decorated fans because let's face it, even though the air conditioning is working a little, it's going to get hot in our van.  So now they each have a hand-held fan and I'm sure they won't complain at all.  Right?

Packed the essentials-from UNO to my first ever trust first aid kit.  Click here to read how I am finally taking my own advice on being prepared.

The awesome travel bingo cards were a free printable from @Random Thoughts of a Supermom. Click here for more info. 


Possibly the most important thing we will bring, the music.


Recently my kids fell in love with The Sound of Music and therefore I fell in love all over again.  We are now in possession, courtesy of our fabulous library, of the soundtrack and we are LOVING it.  The whole family Do-Re-Mi's throughout town.  And now we are Do-Re-Mi-ing our way through the southeastern United States.


I am using Maria von Trapp as a guide post throughout this whole grand adventure.  I mean look what she did with just a little confidence, she entertained those kids and everyone seemed so happy.  If Maria can do it, so can I by golly.



I think Maria would be a B-52s fan.  She might take it hip to hip and rock it through the wilderness. Maybe not, that sounds too dirty for Maria.  But I do think she would approve of singing and roaming.

Follow along on our journey as I tweet and post updates on Facebook.
If not, then click here to follow on Twitter and here to join the Facebook page.

Youngbloods Go On Tour

We are about to embark on a grand adventure--the summer road trip of 2012.


Every year, we load up the kids and drive down to see my family in Alabama.  My mother and father took my sister,brother and me when we were kids.  Now I take my kids. Traa-diii-tionnnn! (You should be singing that word in Fiddler on the Roof style.)


I love road trips.  I love to get away. I've always dreamed of being on a tour bus, going from gig to gig.  


Here's my tour bus.

Just like a celebrity. Except the air conditioning only works in 20 minute stretches, there is no nanny along for the ride and I am on an extremely strict budget.  Not only strict, but sad.  It's a sad budget.


No worries though.  I'm ready for a getaway.  I'm ready to travel like a god damn low level grunge band.


My tour manager husband has to stay home to manage the local bands here at home (code for the mostly sweet, but mostly delinquent kids at the summer school where he is the head honcho).  In a true sign of his belief in my traveling abilities, he has rigged up a "cooling system" that will help.  I'm a bit skeptical.

Get ready America, or at least a few states in the southeastern portion of America, the Youngbloods are coming!


Tour stops:
Louisville, Kentucky
Atlanta, Georgia
Huntsville, Alabama
Nashville, Tennessee
Louisville, Kentucky***
***repeat stop, thanks Dana!


I will be live Tweeting and updating my Facebook page.  I'm sure the tour will be full of wild antics from the band and the roadies.  Follow along!


Click here to follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood.


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Okay, I might have pretended I was going on tour with the Go-Gos when I was a kid.  And that is why this video is so awesome. Also because it's the Go-Go's on one of my favorite shows as a kid Solid Gold.  Enjoy!