The Self Care Zone and What I Know For Sure

"I just want to try and get seven to eight hours a sleep a night, go see a matinee every once in a while, get a little fat and maybe jog a 5-K for charity," I told my brother on the phone yesterday.

We laughed about how I sounded like a super old lady. I am not super old. I'm 41. According to an article I read on Facebook the other day I am supposed to be enjoying a second prime right now. All I know for sure right now is that I'm pretty tired. Mostly really happy but definitely tired.

It's so funny because just a couple years ago when I was 39 and getting ready to turn 40 I was full of "I'm going to do this! and that and be a better me and kind of amazing and I love myself and the world and I'm going to run a marathon and travel and learn to sew and be more amazing!"  I wouldn't say I'm there anymore and it's not the worst thing in the world. 

Now I just simply value balance or at least trying to have a little of it now and then. I want to slow down parts of my life which means I have to start saying no to some things. I want to enjoy moments with the kids when they aren't embarassed by me or rolling their eyes at something I say. I want to be healthy and watch what I eat but I also want to eat dessert and drink wine. I value sleep more than ever before. I wake up a few mornings a week and work out in my basement before the kids get up and before I go to work. When I can, I go for runs outside. I do those things more for peace of mind than losing weight.

This picture make me look huge, sort of larger than life. 
Every other morning I drag my tired butt out of bed to move my body. I work out to wake up and get healthier and stronger. I make room between the ping pong table and piles of laundry to work it ALL out. I use my shadow to check my form. And even though I'm tired, I always feel better after I do this.

On my days off I am intentional about doing small things that make me happy, like sitting on the porch and reading a chapter of my book or watching a documentary on Netflix (like this one about Iris Apfel) or going to a matinee.  

I think there's a name for what I'm doing...self care.  It's kind of a hot topic/buzz word/trend right now, one that I totally support. I struggled to get on board with the whole quinoa trend and the hot yoga trend, but self care? Yeah, I'm in that zone right now.

Maybe in a couple weeks, months or years I will be all "I'm going to do this! and that and be a better me and kind of amazing and I'm going to do great things!" again. But for now I am slowing down where I can, taking care of my family and myself and searching for more balance and it's all pretty good, I know that for sure.

Here's what else I know for sure right now:

• Matinees are the best. Last week in support of the Self Care Zone, I went to see a movie at 10 a.m. in the morning. Whaaaat? Yup. Then I vlogged about it. Check it out if you missed it.

(Click here to watch the video.)

• Going to the grocery store at 7 a.m. on a Sunday is a good time to go. Lots of carts and no lines! I mean it's early, but it's kind of nice and peaceful.

• In the name of balance, I am totally digging working part time. I love having Tuesdays and Thursdays off. I love it so much I want to have a T-shirt made that expresses how much I love Tuesdays and Thursdays.

• Tim and I are still completely and totally obsessed with the show Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. We are almost half way through the second to last season. It's so violent and horrifying and amazing.

• I LOVE this song. I'm a little embarrassed because it's by a Jonas brother and I publicly liked another song by another Jonas brother last week. I mean there's nothing wrong with Jonas brothers, it just seems funny to me. But I can't deny loving this silly song.

(Click here to watch the video and dance.)

• I am not regretting putting the Foosball table in our dining room. The boys play almost every morning before school. It's awesome. 

What do YOU know for sure this week? How do you find balance? Tell me here or over on my Facebook page. And if you want, subscribe to my YouTube channel and come play with me on Instagram.

Renewing All The Vows

Last Sunday, Tim and I stood in front of the congregation in church and laughed our way through our vows. Just like we did over 15 years ago. Vowing to love each other forever and ever and ever.

When we decided to get married all those years ago we just sort of jumped in full of love and cluelessness. We were driven by hope and passion and that all-in kind of love. We dreamed of a big family and traditions and having fun and being together forever. But we were clueless about how exhausting it can all be and how marriage can be tricky and getting older is weird and that jobs just don't get offered and money is always an issue, always. We were clueless that parenting teenagers would involve all this damn phone/texting/instagramming bullshit. We were clueless about how being a parent makes you feel worried about so much and feel so god damn vulnerable. We were clueless about how fast it all goes.  

Last Saturday night Tim and I were in the middle of our normal weekend miscommunication that leads to a fight and mean text messages sent back and forth and then apologies and "we didn't mean it we are just so tired" explanations. It's become just what we do every weekend. It's not a great thing but we have kind of gotten into a rut. We haven't been on a date night since last January. Yeah, almost a year. And we are both really tired and possibly a bit cranky.

After looking at our schedules, we realized we didn't have anywhere to be the next day until 1 p.m. A free morning with everyone home is pretty unheard of around here, so Tim and I were psyched.  

"Can we please go to church tomorrow?," asked Lucy.

"Yeah, let's go," chimed in Peyton.

Tim and I looked at each other nervously. We haven't been to church in a while. "Um, you know we have to go if our kids are asking us to go to church, we have to go," Tim whispered. I knew he was right and it wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just wanted to be together and do nothing more.

That's how we found ourselves in front of the congregation renewing our vows. Turns out our church was honoring marriages that were celebrating five year increments, you know five, 10, 15, 20 and so on and so on. The minister asked the anniversary couples up to the front of the church. Tim and I were the youngest couple there. Whaaat? We joined friends of mine that I volunteer with every summer during Vacation Bible School, Tom and Jan, who were celebrating their 50th. There were couples celebrating 40 years, 30 years and then us, 15. Together we all said our vows aloud as we looked at our respective spouses.  

When I held Tim's hands and looked into his eyes I started laughing and he smiled. It was just like it had been 15 years ago. Except we are older and way more tired and wrinkled and vulnerable. But we are also sort of dumbfounded that so many of our dreams have come true. We have the big family and the traditions and love that goes on forever and ever and ever. We are a little bit less clueless but still hopeful.

Staring at him all these years later and looking down the aisle and seeing couples that have been through so much more and loved longer I felt inspired. Then I looked up to smile at our kids in the pews only to see Lucy on her phone. Cursing technology (in my head) I took a vow to not let technology crush our dreams, or exhaustion or lack of date nights, or being too busy for traditions, or Saturday night fights.

After church we headed straight to the pumpkin patch for our annual pumpkin picking and hayride tradition.

Yup, Lucy had her phone because duh. 

I jumped in the picture because we had just come from our impromptu vow renewal and we were feeling all romantic and inspired.

The loves of my life and my dream come true. Seriously.

And then we went straight to Wade's flag football game because it's not a weekend in October without someone playing a football game.

After the game, we all went to the annual Halloween Hoopla hosted by my in-laws. My in-laws are an amazing example of love and marriage and family and being there and having fun.  

These Star Wars costumes make it look like it's 1982 all over again. And I love it.

Grandma goes all out every year. 

I promise stuff doesn't have to be all complicated and expensive and involve a charger...kids have a blast playing pop the balloon.

And painting pumpkins.

We are actually kind of constantly renewing our vows, our beliefs and our dreams and our love. Each tradition, each family dinner, each holiday party, each game where we go to cheer each other on, we are renewing all of it. All the love, all the hope, all the dreams.

And it turns out Lucy wasn't playing on her phone in church after all, she was taking pictures of our vow renewal. There's hope!

Movie Madness- A Confession, A Vlog, A Review

This morning I did something totally completely crazy...I went to a movie at 10 a.m. all by myself.  Yup. It was nuts. It was great. Then I decided to vlog about it.

Check out my vlog I did in my minivan in the parking lot of the movie theater--it's part reality show confessional/interview, part movie review. 

(click here to watch the video)

Here's the trailer for The Intern.  

(click here to watch the video)

The Beauty of Fall & DIY Fall Crafts- A Pinterest Poser Challenge

Summer is my absolute favorite time of year but Fall is a close second. Especially sunny Fall days.  It's on those sunny Fall days when the world seems to glow and feel warm and wonderful and beautiful and brilliant. 

My mother had a million and five problems in life but appreciating the beauty of the seasons wasn't one of them.  On those sunny Fall days growing up in Southwestern Michigan, if my mom saw a beautiful tree she would stop the car and pull over. She would ooh and ahhh and make sure we were all looking and noticing and really seeing our beautiful and brilliant world. My brother and sister and I soaked up the warmth of the glowing trees and the excitement and love of my mother.

I inherited quite a few of my mother's problems including her anxiety and over emotionality. But I'm so glad I also got her love of seasons and the glowing Fall trees. I cannot ever pass a beautiful Fall tree without taking a picture on my phone, pointing it out to my kids and oohing and ahhing and really seeing our beautiful and brilliant world.

I love to do crafts that capture that fabulous Fall beauty. For this week's Pinterest Poser Challenge,* I  looked up some inexpensive crafts that help me celebrate the beauty of Fall.

*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week-ish I detail a new project/idea/recipe inspired by Pinterest.
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.

I love painting stuff. This summer I got really into painting sticks, it was like therapy for me. I saw a picture of painted acorns on Pinterest and fell in love. It is fun, simple and free.

I took the kids on a walk and we looked for acorns. When I took the dog for a walk, I collected acorns. It was fun. After I had my acorns, I baked them in the oven at lowest heat for two hours. I let the acorns cool and then started painting.

I used acrylic paint from Michael's because I had some left over from painting sticks. I used all sorts of colors, not all that Fall-y but I love how they turned out.

The kids helped. We painted glue on the tops of acorns and then dipped them in Fall-y colored glitter. 

We had a minor glitter spill, but no worries.

I originally put the acorns in a vase on the table on
my front porch.

But then I went to the Dollar Store and bought this acorn platter and put them all inside.
They are messy and colorful and imperfect...I LOVE them.

The next crafty project I did was a not so beautiful ModPodge Leaf Mason Jar Candle Holder thing-y. 

I modeled this after things I'd seen on Pinterest. But I didn't really look at the pins that closely. If I had, then I would have noticed that most (maybe all) of them used fake leaves which probably would have worked much better.  That is not what I used.

I collected leaves on my nature walks and then used ModPodge to try and stick them onto a Mason Jar I had in the house. It was frustrating.

The leaves broke apart and didn't stick. I snapped at the kids and got a little grumpy.  BUT I finally got a couple leaves to stay stuck.

I dropped in a votive candle that promised to smell like pumpkin pie and lit it.  It was messy and I would do it with fake leaves if I were you....but I still love my leaf candle holder thing-y.

I love mine, but if you want to make fancier (probably less frustrating) ones, click here. 

Sweet moment on the front porch that also makes me fall in love with the world. Father and daughter chilling out together.
Love it.

Have you made anything inspired by Pinterest lately? Does Fall kind of blow you away with it's beauty? Got any favorite Fall crafts? Let me know in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

Come follow me on Pinterest (click here).

Here are some of the Pinterest projects I've done/made/attempted:

Kale Smoothie- click here

Power Tools- click here

Painting Sticks- click here

Homemade Pesto- click here

DIY Map Craft- click here

Homemade Chalk Paint- click here

A Flower Crown- click here

The Rainbow Challenge- click here

DIY Trundle Bed- Click here

DIY Artemis Costume- click here

Taking Pictures of Your Kids- click here

Gluten Free Pretzels- click here

Cinnamon Sugar Doughballs- click here

Painted Lockers- click here

Melted Beads- DIY Suncatcher- click here

Tissue Paper Pom Pom Garland-- click here

A Delightfully Simple Birthday Party--click here
Make An Awesome Omelet--click here
Outdoor Lights Inspired by the show Parenthood- click here
Herb Garden with Chalkboard Pots- click here
Backyard Graffiti Art with kids- click here

Happiness Notecards- click here

Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here

Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here

Make Your Own Magnets- click here

DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here

Dixie Cup Lights- click here

DIY Ornaments-click here

Gluten Free Clay- click here

Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here

Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here

Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here

Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here

Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here

Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here

Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here

Fake Bangs- click here

DIY Subway Art- click here

Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here

Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here

The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here

The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click hereThe Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here