Getting Lost

"Can I follow you home?," I asked him.

"I'm not completely sure where I'm going," he replied.

"That's okay, we'll just get lost together," I laughed.

This conversation pretty much sums up my entire relationship with the love of my life, my husband of 13 years.  

This conversation actually happened this past weekend after our oldest son's football game.  Tim in our red minivan, me in our silver minivan talking about following each other home.  That's right we are a two minivan family.  It may not be as edgy as me drunkenly propositioning him in a smoky, dark bar 20 years ago when we were thinner, cooler and better looking, but to me it's where it's at.  I hold onto the poetry and romance in the ordinary moments because why not? I mean really, why not, it's good stuff.

Our romance has been full of big love, loud fights, lots of hope and making the best of bad decisions, always holding onto our sense of humor and continually getting lost together.  

But sometimes it doesn't feel romantic at all.  It is more like "god damn, when are we going to figure this shit out." This shit being life, money, and money and money (we are really, really bad at that part) and jobs and parenting and being everywhere for everybody and how to not piss people off but still set boundaries and to not read Facebook posts and feel like you want to scream or cry or yell at God because people are so dumb or mean or heartless.  What's poetic and romantic about that?  

What good is being in love and poetry and romance when you can't figure shit out?

Here's my advice about what a poetic, sensitive person should not do to feel better: don't apply to be seasonal help at JoAnn Fabrics.  Especially if said sensitive person has only been freelancing and staying at home mothering for the past decade.  Or if said person is struggling with any sort of identity issues like "who am I after a miscarriage?" or  "13 years ago, I was really an up-and-comer in the nonprofit world, but not sure what to do with that now?"  

First of all, who knew you had to have a cover letter and a resume for a seasonal position in retail sales. I mean that's cool, I'm just surprised.  I sat down at the computer and typed up my resume feeling like a loser.  Resumes and applications bring back all the demoralizing anxiety of standardized tests that didn't have an essay portion when I was a kid.  "Once a loser always a loser," I told myself.  See we sensitive, poetic types can get dark pretty fast. Waaaaa.

Just to confirm my "I'm an idiot" feeling, I got tripped up by the online application too.  Missing required fields and embarrassingly not know how much minimum wage is and having to Google it.  All while Wade was emptying every cabinet in the kitchen to get my attention.  

My attempt to bring in a little extra money (and do my part to help the whole we never have enough money issue) at a place where I could maybe get a discount on nerdy craft supplies that I love put me in a funk.  A totally unpoetical, unromantic, this-shit-is-all-stupid funk.

Then Tim sent me a text.  A mushy, we'll get through whatever we have to kind of text.  It was the poetry and romance of the ordinary moment that I love, that I need.  A reminder that even though we don't have any answers and life is full of stupid funks and that our happily ever after looks different than other people's and we will never be good with money (we would be those assholes that screw up winning the MegaMillions jackpot) and JoAnn Fabrics may never hire me, we're together and we're in love.  We will ride off into the sunset in our minivan with no clue where we are going and get lost together.

P.S. I am well aware that love and poetry and romance don't pay the bills, but they sure do help make it all better. Don't you think so?

This John Prine song is pretty awesome (and a little raunchy).

Oh, oh wait, this is another pretty awesome song for our (or anyone's) love story.  Annnnd as a bonus, it's Mayim Bialik's ahhhmazing performance in Beaches which is special because my mom used to tell me I looked just like her. Yup.  I wish I sounded like her too when I was a kid or ever.

Confessions of a Reluctant Sports Mom

This weekend was full of football.  There was rainy football, 

sunny football and backyard football.

It was a lot of football.  And I am one conflicted sports mom.  

I grew up with football.  Not just any football, SEC football.  My grandparents had a picture of Jesus and a picture of University of Alabama's head football coach Bear Bryant on their wall.  It was revered.

I was a fan too.  I was the girl that actually watched the game at the bar with the guys in college. I knew rankings and stats and players' bios.  But now, I am a sports mom and I am conflicted.

I hugged him with relief after his first game this year.

Now I watch football and I worry about every player like they are my own son.  Why are people hitting so hard?  Why are we all cheering for people to get hurt? It's too much.  No wait, too much is watching my own sons play football. 

**Disclaimer** The program my son has played with this year has been wonderful.  The coaches and parents have been supportive and encouraging.  This whole conflicted thing is all on me.

But this past weekend, I was caught on tape sounding a little less conflicted which quite frankly makes me more conflicted.  Check out my Reluctant Sports Mom Confession vlog:



(If you are an email subscriber, click here to watch the video http://youtu.be/W75crDm-H3k) 

Are you a sports mom?  A football mom?  How do YOU feel about the game?

Time, What I Know For Sure & #iPPP

This week was full of appointments, pick ups and drop offs and practices, and play dates and homework and more.  

It was still warm enough most of the week to do homework
(and play Yahtzee) on the front porch.

I felt like I was running in circles most of the time.  Unfortunately, there wasn't a ton of time for sitting by rivers and looking at leaves like last week.  

I've been a parent now for almost 12 years.  You might think all the scheduling, planning and caring for gets easier.  And you might be wrong.  Parenting is like other things in life, there are highs and lows.  There are weeks when you feel totally in sync and weeks when you just plain don't.  

My oldest and my youngest (I like to call them the bookends) both had doctor appointments this past week.  

Seeing them up on those tables, one so big and the other one so little (but so big too), was slightly mindblowing.  It was time slapping me in my face, screaming "it's going fast."  I mean I know, of course, we all knoooow time is marching on.  We've all nodded our heads in agreement when we hear someone say "the days are long but the years are short" referring to parenthood.  But you guys, it's all true. While we are circling and running and racing around and beating ourselves up, the kids are growing up.  Which still doesn't make those out-of-sync weeks feel right.  I'm just making an observation about time.  Sorry I have no answers, just a reminder.

What I know for sure this week is all that time whizzing by stuff and that matching socks are not my family's thing and I love that so much.

I know for sure that after 12 years of parenting I am holding true to my basic life philosophy, sort of our family mission statement--"It's Okay If You're Socks Don't Match." (I wrote more about that a couple years ago, click here to read about my sock philosophy.)

Here's what else I know for sure this week:

• Tis the season of the Great Pumpkin(s).

• I don't care what the fox says. 

• My excitement about my new cutsie crock pot is embarrassing.

• Hearts in my latte foam never get old, ever.

• Chipmunks don't want anything from me and I love that.  I over analyzed the fact that I smiled at a couple chipmunks this week and came up with that theory.  Think about it, chipmunks don't typically saunter over to your park bench and beg for breadcrumbs (like those asshole ducks and mean geese).  Chipmunks scurry out of sight as fast as they can and I completely appreciate that.  So, thank you chipmunks.  

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

Please come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed. 

All the pictures in this post were taken with my phone.

I'm linking up today with my friends Greta from  Gfunkified.com and Sarah from SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. 

Check them out.

Smiling At Chipmunks

This whole nature loving side of me is getting a little out of hand.  The other day, I smiled at a chipmunk.  What the hell is going on?  I hate nature.  And I'm not really a fan of animals.  

But Jesus, fall is amazing and I can't stop saying, thinking and dreaming about how amazing it is.

This is river runs alongside the path where I run.  Are you kidding me?  Um, wouldn't you be smiling at chipmunks and birds and maybe even those shifty, untrustworthy deer?
It's beautiful.

If you find me annoying, just know I might be experiencing some sort of manic high that will end with me crashing down very soon.  (waaaaa)  Whenever I was in a really good mood, my mother would always say "Well, we know what's going to happen.  You'll be crying before bedtime."  And then she'd roll her eyes like it was all too much for her to bother with.  (ugh, mother issues)

I'm not going to let naysayers, winter lovers, or crazy mothers get me down.  That's what Christmas is for, duh.  For now, whether you are annoyed or not, I am going to enjoy  my manic ride and keep taking more pictures, keep praising the colors and mums and pumpkins and gourds and the smell of cinnamon and burning leaves and camp fires.

And I'm going to smile at more chipmunks.

Music to smile at chipmunks to:

Eva Cassidy's Autumn Leaves
I used to rock my first baby to her CD, her voice is haunting and beautiful.


The Lumineers' Classy Girls
This has nothing to do with fall, I just like it and ran to it the other day along one of the trails pictured above.

First Aid Kit's King of the World
This isn't a fall song either, it's just ahhhhmazing and wonderful and fabulous.  The lyrics, the voices, the everything.  Enjoy.  And don't forget to smile at those chipmunks.

Purple & Pinterest Poser Challenge

It's time again for the Pinterest Poser Challenge.  In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,* every week I  detail a new Pinterest challenge whether it be a new recipe or a craft.   

**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.**

Life is chugging along right now.  I feel like saying that makes me sound old or like a woman who wears dresses with big pockets on the front and has a thick Wisconsin/Michigan accent.  But it is chugging along.  We have routines, we fight less about homework, the weather has been beautiful.  See? Chugging along indeed.  But that doesn't mean I feel calm, organized and accomplished.  

I've been spending a lot of time lately slowing down, trying to worry less, do less.  Mindfulness some people call it.  I do feel calmer.  I also feel fatter because I've gained weight from not working out as much.  I do worry less.  But then I worry that I should be worrying about something and the cycle continues.  I do do less.  I also have a messier house because the first thing I cross off that to-do list is to clean, duh.  So there are benefits to all this mindfulness and a few drawbacks.

Sometimes crafting, baking, Pinterest-ing provides that mindful focus that centers me, grounds me.  Sometimes all the crafting, baking, Pinterest-ing can be exhausting and overwhelming.  My ideas are bigger than my time.  My inspirations are loftier than my abilities.  It can become a source of dread and anxiety.

This my friends, is when I go to the old stand by...paint.  Paint something, anything and you will feel better, accomplished.  Don't paint a room.  Paint a lampshade or a chair.  This weekend I painted by headboard.  It cost $7 for the paint and only took me a few minutes.

In honor of mindfulness, I chose the color purple.  I read if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind.  Yup.  Plus I like the color purple.  It makes me happy.  It makes me think of the book The Color Purple which I love.  I have this quote hanging on my wall of words:

It makes me think of things like Purple Rain which makes me think of Prince and then I think about all those songs.  I made up a dance routine to "Let's Go Crazy" in my living room a million years ago.  I also secretly watched the movie and would rewind certain scenes over and over again.  I was around 11 and it was the dirtiest movie I'd ever scene in my whole entire life.  

Sorry, back to my project.

I bought purple spray paint (RUS-OLEUM Painter's Touch 2X Ultra Cover Paint+Primer, gloss grape).  I painted my head board in my back yard.

Lucy was a great helper.

Once the paint dried, I brought my purple headboard back inside.  Easy. 

Before

After.
I think it looks ahhhhmazing.
 Click here to find out how I made the Subway Sign.

BAM. I feel creative and accomplished.  Sometimes all it takes is a can of spray paint.

Doesn't Tim's snore mask look great hanging on a purple bed? I think he loves it.  And probably loves that I'm posting a picture of his snore mask.

Just because we mentioned Prince and Purple Rain in this post, I thought I should share the vlog where I sing When Doves Cry.  Check it out, click here.

Have you made something from Pinterest lately?  Had any great successes? Or advice?  Or warning about a project that's a total waste of time? Do tell.

Please share whatever you're working on in the comments here or over on Facebook.  Come on over and follow my Pinterest boards.

Here are some of the projects I've already attempted, the good and the bad:
Birthday Shirt- click here
Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here

Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here

Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here

Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here

Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here

Nail Art-click here

Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here

Fake Bangs- click here

DIY Subway Art- click here

Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here

Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here

The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here

The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click here
The Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.

We'll Always Have October

So far, October has been pretty amazing.  The kind of weather that makes you want to eat poetry, reach out and grab the blue sky.  It makes you feel like you're king of the mountain.   Like nothing matters but the blueness of the sky, the magic of the sun, the mystery of the shadows and the truth in the light.  This kind of October makes people believers.

It makes us believe in wishes.

It makes us believe in new discoveries.

It makes us believe there new adventures around every corner.

And down every trail. 

Sometimes we follow the light and sometimes it's got our back.    Either way, this October has been full of opportunities to believe.  

Appreciating beauty in the trees and rivers and even the colorful secret graffiti wall we discovered, we are all over it.  We are making the most of every sunshine filled moment.

There are so many things we aren't good at, like organization, planning ahead, finding matching socks, making beds, impulse control and well, you get the idea. But taking the adventure, believing in the magic and seeing the beauty around us everywhere?  We are very good at that.  This October is making us feel very successful.  We won't let it go to our heads, I mean the stressful holiday season is coming up and that is the season for all those plan-ahead, budget, matching-sock types to shine.  

We'll always have October.

This picture looks like I'm saying "You got a problem with that?" and maybe I am.
I dare you to find fault in my October success, but I won't care because I'm an October badass success story (so far).