Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I Ain't No Joke (A Very Special Episode of Pinterest Poser)

Sometimes the things that happen in my life feel like, well, a big joke.  But folks, just like the classic rap song, I Ain't No Joke.

It's time again for the Pinterest Poser Challenge In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,* every week I  detail a new Pinterest challenge whether it be a new recipe or a craft.   
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.**

Ever since I discovered Pinterest, I've aspired to live a prettier, more creative, better life.  That's no joke either. But sometimes life can't be summarized in a cute post about an amazing craft.  Yeah, that's right, this is the Pinterest Poser post where I get real and gritty.

Duck Tape Diaries
This past Friday night, I was driving my kids to my oldest son's indoor baseball game (the absurdity of indoor baseball will find it's way in another post eventually I'm sure).  My husband was out of town, so it was just me and the kids in our giant old-school, full-size (huge) van. 
Fuzzy pink dice on my mirror, oh yeah, it's how I roll.
The van is slowly falling apart, literally.  As I was driving in the pitch black winter night, we heard a scraping noise, then we swear we saw sparks. I pulled over into a parking lot to discover the running board was falling off the the car and dragging on the road as I drove.  I thought to myself, "what would someone on Pinterest do?"  No I'm kidding, I actually thought "oh holy hell, my life sucks, what the f#&@ am I going to do now?"

After swearing in my head and under my breath for several minutes, I remembered my daughter Lucy had a bag full of Duck Tape with her.  She is totally into the Duck Tape craze and brings it along with her to all her brothers' games. 

"Lucy, throw me some Duck Tape," I yelled to her.
"No," she replied clutching fiercely to her bag, not wanting to part with her precious dumb tape.
"Pick out your two least favorite colors and give them to me...NOW!," I ordered.

With tears in her eyes she handed over the rolls--one hot pink and another bright yellow.  I grabbed them and Duck Taped the hell out of the running board.  

It held that bad boy together all the way to the game, which we made it to just in time.  And I'm happy to report, it's still hanging on.  Will we get it fixed?  Maybe.  Or maybe I'll just buy some new fancy colored Duck tape and change it up every week.

The Mod Podged Pants
As a short person, I really should know how to hem.  Pants NEVER fit, ever.  And I hate "petite" clothes.  So, I've cut off the bottom of jeans, taped slacks together and on the rare occasion taken pants to a tailor (really rare, like only twice in my life rare).  Lately, my hem vice of choice is fabric glue.  I love it.  The only problem is when you wash and dry the clothes, usually the fabric glue doesn't hold.

Last Saturday night as I laid my clothes out for church.  (Admit it, you are kind of surprised I do that aren't you? Yeah, both...go to church and lay out my clothes the night before like an organized person.)  When I noticed that my pants had come unglued.  I headed to the craft cabinet and to my horror discovered the fabric glue had spilled and was now a hardened puddle.  I thought to myself, "what would someone on Pinterest do?"  No I'm kidding, I actually thought "oh holy hell, my life sucks, what the f#&@ am I going to do now?"

But then I remembered I had a bottle of half-full Mod Podge.  So I got a glass of wine, turned on a movie and Mod Podged the hell out of my pants.

And you know what?  It worked.  It's my new thing.

Even when I tell you the stories about Duck Taping my van together and Mod Podging my pants...I'm totally serious.  It sure as hell isn't Pinterest perfect, but it's my life and it's real. It Ain't No Joke.

So this week, I challenge you to admit something you've done that maybe isn't so Pinterest perfect, but real.  Did you glue your pants?  I can't be the only one, right?

Don't be afraid to share here or on my Facebook page.  It's all good.

And come on over and follow my Pinterest boards on my quest for a prettier, more creative, better life.

And just because no post quoting this song would be complete without a YouTube video of this song, here you go...I Ain't No Joke by Eric B. & Rakim.
**so many favorite lines from this, but one of my favorite favorites is "I hold the microphone like a grudge."**** Love it. 


  1. I love this post! My life is sooooo not Pinterest like it isn't even funny! Love your duct tape van. :-)

  2. This was hilarious!!

    Gluing your pants is a genious idea - why didn't I think of that? No joke!! thats pinterest worthy.

    I stapled my pants :\

    Patty (fanta4two.com)

  3. about your van: fuck yeah! definitely get a roll of zebra print or some other awesomeness and keep it like that. love it so much.