Listen To Your Mother- The Final Show & Preparing For The Next Phase

I co-produce a storytelling show in Detroit. It is part of a national show called Listen To Your Mother.

For the last four years, I have worked with my friend Angela to bring stories about motherhood to a stage for a live audience. 

We call ourselves The Angelas and dude, if we were in Hollywood we might even start a production company with the same name. Who knows, even though we live in the Midwest, maybe we still will someday? 

We book a venue, secure funding, build relationships with sponsors, knock on doors, make calls and emails, we write, we tweet, we post, we take pictures, we sell tickets. AND we host auditions, edit, rehearse, coach, sound check, direct, support and enjoy a cast of writers.

Each year has been different in some way. There have been fires to put out, problems to solve and lessons to learn. Every story that has been told has been about an aspect of motherhood, but every story has been unique and original. Just like every storyteller that has taken the stage to be a part of the show.

Before this show my experience on stage included only a couple talent shows in elementary school. 

My very first time on a stage circa 1984. I choreographed my own dance to the song Fame by Irene Cara. And yup I brought my own prop, the stool from my bathroom. lol

I had no idea how much I would fall in love with being on stage as a middle age woman. But I did. 

My frist LTYM show.No bathroom stool,
but same awesome feeling as in 1984.

For a minute it made me a little sad because I wondered why in the world it took me so long to figure out how much I loved it. I mean, I couldn't help but think about all the time I could have been doing something that made me feel so alive and creative and fulfilled, and not feel a little bitter. Then I thought about what if I had never discovered it at all....

Right after the first show was done in the dressing room at our rad venue, St. Andrew's Hall. After my first time on stage, I discovered I had this inner bad ass rock star persona that was dying to come out. Who knew?!

Listen To Your Mother actually came into my life at just the right time. Four years ago I was a stay-at-home mother in my late thirties trying to figure out how to ease into the next phase of my life. I didn't want things to change. I'm not really someone who eases into anything--there's a lot of over analyzing, worrying, resisting, mourning, questioning, stomping around, grimacing. I don't like change unless I'm in charge of it, and my children growing up and time were things I couldn't control.

Working on this show, discovering a passion, meeting incredible men and women, building friendships, learning to say no and be okay with not making everyone happy, developing a pretty kick-ass skill set that I never knew I would have (um writing "live stage show producer" on a resume, what?!), connecting with creative people with so much talent it made my head explode and hearing stories from people that made my heart explode with compassion and wonder and inspiration and love....this show, this experience, has changed my life and me. 

One of my favorite pictures from the last four years...it is from our first rehearsal ever. This show has shown me how important and powerful support and love and mothering each other can be. We REALLY are in this together.

As I prepare for the grand finale this Sunday and get ready for a new phase, a post Listen To Your Mother phase, I am of course feeling all reflective and resisit-y per usual. But I'm also feeling stronger and more sure of myself about what's next, even if I'm not sure what that is. I feel ready to take on time, embrace the ups and downs of aging and perimenopause (there are ups, right? Jesus I hope there is an up), feel all the feelings, know that I can be strong and vulnerable at the same time, be okay with needing Xanax sometimes,  make the most of time with my children who are growing up so fast and enjoy more of being in the right now/the moment. I am going to think about the women I've met and the stories I've heard and the lessons I've learned. I've listened to all the mothers and I know that whatever happens next, is going to make a great story someday.

Our first cast in 2014!

Cast number 2 circa 2015!

Cast number 3 last year!

This year's show is heavy and powerful. After the rehearsals I couldn't stop thinking about these women and what they've lived through. It is about loss, but also about surviving. It is about the beauty of moving forward with compassion and community and love. It is about finding light in the darkness and letting go and being okay. It feels like the perfect last show for this Listen To Your Mother journey and moving into whatever the next phase is.

One of our rehearsals for this year's show.
These women are incredible.

It's never to late to discover something that you love to do. 

This year's show is on Sunday, April 30, at 3 p.m. at St.Andrew's Hall in Detroit. To buy tickets for this year's show click here: 
http://www.livenation.com/events/622053-apr-30-2017-listen-to-your-mother

Check out these wrap up posts from LTYM shows in Detroit over the years:

http://www.jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.com/2016/05/bigger-than-show-listen-to-your-mother.html

http://www.jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.com/2015/05/listen-to-your-mother-2015-family.html

http://www.jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.com/2014/05/i-chose-arsenio-hall-my-ltym-experience.html

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Go Ahead, Be Weird-- My Listen To Your Mother Story 2016

The last few weeks, just like the old Johnny Cash song, I've been everywhere man. And I loved it. I am trying to settle into my normal life and learn to get back in a groove, or at least try to find any kind of groove. While I was gone, the videos from last May's Listen To Your Mother (LTYM) show in Detroit were published. They are so good. Go watch all of them. You will love them, I promise.

My story is about embracing my weirdness. Which honestly, I needed to remember today as I try to find that groove. I often feel like I am the wrong person to handle the demands of mothering four busy, active kids who love football and travel baseball. I feel like I am letting them down because I have trouble being organized. But then I remembered what I told the audience last May--- "my bag is sweet chaos, four kids, three jobs, feeling it all and loving it so much....my super power is adventure and being sensitive and compassionate and being able to totally being in the moment." I have to believe there's value in that kind of sweet chaos and maybe that's my groove.



Here's my story from Listen To Your Mother Detroit:

(Click here to watch the video.)

While you are watching, you should watch ALL the videos from our spectacular cast in Detroit.
this playlist on the #LTYM YouTube channel. 

And hey, you should go listen to ALL of the LTYM shows all across North America featuring powerful stories that capture all kinds of different feelings and experiences about mothering and growing up. On the Listen To Your Mother YouTube channel we feature a variety of playlists by topic, and for 2016 they’ve added two new playlists–one with stories about race, and another with stories from LGBTQ families.

And because I said groove so many times, here's the Madonna classic:

(Click here to watch the video.)

Bigger Than A Show-- Listen To Your Mother Detroit

313 --- Detroit!

The first year I co-produced Listen To Your Mother I had no idea what I was doing. Zero. And I felt like I had a lot to prove. I sort of felt like that the second year too. But the this year was different. It was more hectic because I was working full time and that was pretty intense.  This year, I had less time but I had more of an idea of what to do and what I wanted to do. The whole project became less about what I had to prove and more about providing an amazing experience for the cast and the audience. 

Before the show started.

It's kind of like I grew up a little bit as a producer...I became less the insecure teenager who mutters I'll show you but at the same time wanting everyone to like them; and more middle-age woman who has lived some life and wants to help create opportunities for people to connect and be inspired and feel more alive, a woman who confidently strides through the room un-apologetically inviting people to the experience.

The screens before people walked into the show room say it all. Two previous years of LTYM Detroit casts.
We are building something. 

The stories, the LTYM alumni, the generous sponsors, the cast....it was amazing. But not without hiccups and problems. Our photographer had a medical emergency two days before the show, a couple sponsorships didn't come through and our ticket sales were lower.  If even one of those things had happened in year one, or even year two, it would've thrown me off so badly. I would have freaked out and lost focus. My insecurity and desire "to show you" would have crushed my ability to bounce back or work through problems or see any kind of bigger picture. But this year? There was only a little bit of freaking. 

Maybe it's because I'm older and wiser. Maybe it's because I just get it more now. 

This year was about making sure the cast felt appreciated and safe. Safe to tell their stories and be brave on stage. This year was about honoring and including the women, and man, that were a part of the other Listen To Your Mother Detroit casts.

This year it hit me more than ever before, we are building something here more than an amazing show. We are building a community. A community that feels like family and supports each other and lifts each other up. A community where people can network and reach out to each other for creative inspiration and connection. A sisterhood (with a one brother) that feels like home--full of "remember whens" and good hugs and "we got you's" and "what do you need?" and love and connection and understanding.

This vibe of inspired connectivity hopefully radiated out to the smaller yet passionate and supportive audience. The stories were full of love and gratitude and hope. At first we worried that we needed more angst, more pain, more grief, but then we realized that maybe a show full of gratitude and hope is just what we needed right now. Maybe there's enough angst, pain and grief in the news and online and so many places. Maybe a show about being authentic and living with intention and appreciating motherhood in all forms is just what we ALL need.  

Just chilling, eating lunch from Avalon and talking before the sound check and the show.
Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

The cast got their make up done in the Green Room. So fun!

Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Sound check.

Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Champagne toast in the Green Room before the show.Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Toasting to us with a "hell yeah! we are going to do this!"

Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Big Al, one of our sound guys at St. Andrews. He was so funny. And kind. He brought us waters backstage and reminded us to watch our step, and after the show he said "I love the stories!" 

Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Photo by Monroe Fox Photography 

THE 2016 cast of readers in the Detroit Listen To Your Mother show.

Photo by Monroe Fox Photography

Telling everyone to take a deep breath and have a zen moment before we go onto the stage. 

Picture by Monroe Fox Photography 

Photo by Monroe Fox Photography

Picture by Chris Ahern Photography.

Picture by Chris Ahern Photography.
Stay tuned for the videos of the stories to come out this July!!!!!

Photo by Monroe Fox Photography

Photo by Monroe Fox Photography

The bow! Picture by Chris Ahern Photography.

If you want to be a part of the Listen To Your Mother family--audition for or be in the audience of next year's show!  Go to the Listen To Your Mother Detroit website and sign up for the newsletter to stay updated.  If you don't live in Detroit go to this site to find a Listen To Your Mother show in a city near you!

No Ego

Last Sunday I was on a stage in a kick-ass venue in Detroit working a crowd, getting a few laughs, loving the attention, having a blast. 

Look at my co-producer and friend, Angela A., and me, cracking each other up. So.Much.Fun.

The next day I slept through my alarm, broke up a fist fight in my kitchen (my two youngest children) and tried to tell the kids at my preschool what a big deal I was just a few short hours earlier.

Listen, I have no ego, at least not an inflated one. But I do have some really amazing stories of bravery, community, friendship, cool dudes at soundboards, history, discovering our truth and sharing it and love and the power of storytelling. Ahhhhhh. Co-producing the Listen To Your Mother show in Detroit is pretty rad.

First though, I must catch up on sleep and eat lots of chips and salsa and maybe cry a tiny bit because it's over for another year.

Listen To Your Mother- My Preparation

I love stories. I love writing stories. I love telling stories. I love listening to stories.

I passionately believe in the power of stories to connect people and heal people and spread compassion and understanding and love.

That's why I am so excited/proud/privileged/honored to be a part of Listen To Your Mother and bringing it to Detroit.

Listen To Your Mother is a live stage show that happens once a year. (It's a national show that  will take place live in 41 cities this year.) It's where men and women read their stories about motherhood. Stories of wonderful mothers, complicated mothers, being a mother, wanting to be a mother, stepmothers, losing mothers, finding mothers and so many mother stories.

It's so simple, but so powerful. 

It's kind of ironic that I would coproduce a show dedicated to mothers. I've spent most of my life running from/dealing with/coping/trying to understand/forgiving/setting boundaries with/taking care of/running from my own mother. 

My mother was an amazing, energetic, quirky, crafty, artistic, loving woman in the beginning. But then life and genes and bad luck and bad doctors and a bad divorce and bad decisions changed her. Mental issues, alcohol and a nasty addiction to opiates didn't help either. 

When I was a kid all I wanted was to get my mom back. I wanted her to be happy again. I wanted her to love me. When I was a teenager I wanted the same things, but I also wanted to be free. And then I was sort of. She moved away when I was 17 and my life did get a little better. I grew up a lot and found my voice. Except I still wanted her to love me and I worried about her. In my early 20s I fell in love and got married. 

When I became a mother myself, I longed for a mother of my own, but I was also pissed. Looking at my own little babies all sweet and innocent, I got angrier than I'd been in years wondering how in the hell she could have done all the things she did to us. 

Becoming a mother made me worry more. I still worried about her but I also worried that I would become her. However, as my children get older my compassion for my mother grows (daily). With so much stacked against her, it breaks my heart. (Not enough to visit her more or call her on a regular basis, but enough to definetly make me sad and feel weirdly guilty for previous resentment and anger.)

Over the years I've sought out mothering from my friends' mothers, step-mothers, ex-step-mothers, a mother-in-law, older sister/mother figures, aunts, mentors, sweet older ladies at church and volunteers at the League of Women Voters.

I still worry I will become my mother. I've got demons, for sure.  But since I got involved with Listen To Your Mother and told my story and heard stories about so many different mother experiences, I feel stronger and free-er. I feel connected and understood--by castmembers who feel like family, and even audience members that have reached out and shared their story. I am inspired by the strength of the men and women I've met. 

Looking back maybe it's not so ironic that I coproduce a storytelling show about motherhood. Maybe it makes perfect sense. Maybe trying to understand my own mother and my own mothering and seeking out all the mothers has prepared me well. Maybe it has gutted me enough, made me vulnerable enough, made me wonder enough and be open to knowing that there are so many kinds of motherhood and personhood and definitions of it all....maybe all of that made coproducing Listen To Your Mother just make sense.

Maybe I've been preparing for this my whole life....here's me performing on stage in a my elementary school talent show in 1982 and me performing on stage at my first Listen To Your Mother show in 2014.

For more information on this year's Listen To Your Mother show in Detroit click here.

The show is on Sunday, May 1, at 3 p.m., at St. Andrew's Hall in Detroit. Click here to buy tickets. It's going to be a great show!

Here are a few videos from previous LTYM shows in Detroit:

(Click here to watch the video)

(Click here to watch the video.)

(Click here to watch the video.)

Listen To Your Mother 2016--It's Still Awesome

This year has been weird. I'm working a lot. Like so much my head is spinning. It's good, I'm adjusting to some of it. I love that I have several different jobs. Tim and I have talked about him doing more around the house. We've come up with a plan for the older kids to help out with the chores too.  I'm sort of getting into a groove, I think.

But my groove doesn't have a lot of time to make dinners, work out, do laundry, watch TV (gulp, never thought I would not have time to watch TV!) or feel very organized. I was starting to get worried that my groove didn't have space or time for Listen To Your Mother. I thought maybe I wouldn't be able to give it as much attention because well, you know time. I thought I would care less, feel less. 

BUT I WAS WRONG! I definitely don't have the time I want to devote to parts of planning it, but the caring and the feeling? Oh I have time for that. 

This past Sunday, we met with almost the whole cast for the first time. We had a table read (doesn't that sound so L.A.?).  

Not to sound corny or like lyrics to an ancient Madonna song but it felt like the very first time, again. Because here's the what, everyone's story is different and sharing stories is energizing and electrifying.

I love getting the room together and watching the cast read their stories for the first time and cry and laugh and connect. It's kind of magic.  

Angela and I are at the head of the table,
you know producing and stuff. 

I'm so proud to be a part of a show that creates a space for people to share their stories. A space for people to inspire each other, comfort each other and support each other. A space where I get to work with my friends and highlight all their amazing talents (like my buddy Liane Maxwell who took these amazing photos and head shots of our cast).

Women and mothers and storytelling and being creative and brave and...ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even though I am working more than ever in my life and I haven't figured out how to juggle work and deadlines and teenagers and practices and kindergarten projects and date nights with my husband (HA! yeah right!) and my dog guilt and returning emails and well, everything and still get more than three hours of sleep at night, I feel more energized than I have in a long time.

This is fun! 

What am I doing? Table surfing, duh.

Click here to buy tickets to the show on May 1 at 3 p.m. at St. Andrews Hall in Detroit.

Click here to buy a ticket package from one of our ahhhhhhmazing sponsors Hansons Running Shop.

Click here to read about how awesome St. Andrews Hall is.

Click here to learn more about Listen To Your Mother.

Watch a highlight video from the Listen To Your Mother show last year:

LTYM 2015 from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.

A couple weeks ago,  some of the Listen To Your Mother cast members from our 2014 and 2015 show got together and had brunch. It was so awesome to see everyone. They had some advice for our new cast and I thought it would be fun to share it here:

Welcome To the LTYM Family 2016.... from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.