Thursday, January 15, 2015

Telling The Stories- LTYM

A year ago, I was nervously trying to figure out how to be an almost 40-year-old mother who was trying to get over two surprisingly devastating miscarriages and produce a live show about motherhood.

It was all new stuff, scary stuff.  The weird pain of grief, and the whole hello you're getting old-ness of turning 40 and um, the panicky fear of producing a real live show for the first time that would have a real live audience (at least I hoped it would). 

As a co-producer/co-director and reader in Listen To Your Mother Metro Detroit, my two new best friends Angela and Jessica and I set out to put on a show of live readings on stage.  Not one of us had any experience doing anything like that.  Luckily, being part of the national Listen To Your Mother family (there were shows in over 30 cities nationwide last year) was extremely helpful and supportive and everything you could want from a family.  

The three of us picked the venue, worked with sponsors and printers, hustled and cold called and sold ad space in our program and talked with photographers and the media.  We did approximately 154 Google chats. We hosted auditions and rehearsals.  

It was frustrating, exhilarating and fascinating.
During the audition, we sat in a coffee shop and women read their stories for us.  Women shared some of their darkest moments in their lives, they opened their hearts and we all cried.  They also shared funny moments, relatable moments, surprising revelations, lessons they've learned.  These women shared their humanity.

It was humbling, inspiring, raw and utterly beautiful.
Not everyone's stories made it into the show but they were told.  These women shared their lives, their stories and they were heard.  

The actual show was pretty damn amazing. The women on stage were brave and smart and hilarious and real.  Each story that was read seemed to connect with the audience and there was indeed an audience.   

In fact, there was a line out the door to get inside.  The mic worked, the photographer was incredible, the sponsors were satisfied, the videographer knew everything he needed to do and I loved the sound guy.

The venue was accustomed to indie rock bands and hip hop acts, so the stories about motherhood might not have seemed like the perfect fit.  But my god, it was.  

Scrawled on the dressing room bathroom walls and backstage were words and quotes from other acts that had performed over the years.  Oh man, the walls had some stories to tell.  Just like the women who braved the stage in our show.  Oh man did those women have stories to tell.  

That's what it's all about right?  We all have stories we can write on the walls like a rock star badass or quietly but oh so bravely share in coffee shops.  I am so happy to have been a part of giving some of those people a stage to share their stories, their humanity, their badassery.


Producing this show about motherhood actually helped me heal from the weird grief and guilt and devastation of two miscarriages. It helped me feel alive and connected and creative and hopeful.  It helped me see getting older as an opportunity to understand more and connect more and grow more and create more.

So here I am, in the last half of the first year of my forties preparing to produce another live show. Our 2015 Listen To Your Mother show is on Sunday, April 26th at St. Andrew's Hall in Detroit. 

I'm older and wiser and more confident and I cannot wait to hold auditions, rehearse, work with the cool kids at the rock 'n roll venue and hear ALL the stories.


I'm teaming up again with my buds Angela and Jessica to do all the co-producing/directing together.
We are so excited to be a part of the national Listen To Your Mother family--there are shows in 39 cities this year!!!
Click here to stay connected with all the latest announcements about auditions and when tickets go on sale!

And oh yeah, if you want to watch my story from last year, please go ahead and do that.



(click here to watch the video)

If you'd like to watch all of the stories from our show last year, click here.





Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Feminist Pilgrims

I have four children, three sons and one daughter.  I want all of them to be strong, healthy, happy people with equal rights.  I want them all to be feminists, not just my daughter but my sons too.   

While I am extremely passionate about my sons being able to express themselves and be sensitive, compassionate, empathetic human beings.  I feel an intense urgency right now to make sure that my daughter understands that she can be strong and powerful and get in the game and have a voice and be heard and seen and unafraid.  

Maybe it's because I was a girl once and I remember what it feels like to not truly know those things.  Maybe it's because she's almost 11 and things are about to get very real in girl becoming a woman land.


I try to explain, I try to show by example.  We talk about things, a lot of things.  I don't know if she gets it, or if it's sinking in.  Sometimes she seems so uncertain and I worry.  Sometimes she doesn't speak up when I think she wants to.  But then she does something or says something that makes me know my little girl is listening, and putting her own spin on things, figuring things out in her own way.

The other day at bedtime she was telling me about how they are studying the Pilgrims in school.  At first much of the conversation focused on how she really thinks it would have been better to study the Pilgrims around Thanksgiving, duh.  But then she started to tell me how appalled she was about how the women and girls were treated.  

"They did all the work mom, all of it!," she told me.  "And the guys were just hanging out. It just wasn't right, I mean geez."

I want Lucy to feel pissed about the Pilgrims.  I want her to see the injustice in the stories. I want her to use that passion to make sure she doesn't back down and that she honors the history of struggle for equal rights for women and men.

For a report she had to do on George Washington, Lucy was adamant about including the fact that he was "a liar" in her report.  She was extremely upset that he didn't free his slaves like he promised Martha he would.  

"I can't believe he didn't do what he said he would!," she said looking both heartbroken and angry.

Watching her learn about life and history and struggle reignites my own passion. I feel fired up for my one daughter and my three sons and everybody.  I want all of us to feel heard and seen and unafraid, and have equal rights.  I want all of us to be feminists.

I asked Lucy if I could video her talking about the Pilgrims and if I could put it on YouTube.  She agreed.  Check out the moment that Lucy discovers she is indeed a feminist.



(Click here to watch the video.)

Lucy and I watched THIS speech from Emma Watson together.  It.Is.Ahhhhhmazing. I watched it last year and was inspired, but found it even more powerful watching it with my daughter.


  (Click here to watch the video)

Lucy and I didn't watch this together yet, but it is pretty damn powerful too.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Winter Silver Linings & What I Know For Sure This Week

Baby it's cold outside, like really, really cold.  I'm not that much of a cold weather person, but I am a person who likes to find silver linings in seemingly bleak situations.  The silver lining of sub-zero temperatures? 

Outdoor ice rinks that are finally frozen and ready to enjoy.  

Sure it took us an hour to bundle everyone up in a million layers and we realized that some kids had outgrown their skates (which meant a certain mama had to sacrifice her skates), but it was worth it.  


It's cold but sunny and there is something so invigorating about a walk in new fallen snow with the sun shining. 


Wade tries to build a snowman and make snowballs even when there is only an inch of snow on the ground.  He loves it which makes me love it more.


Maybe the best part of it being really cold outside is all the fun we have inside.  Hot cocoa, chili for dinner, card games, video game challenges, ping pong tournaments, sitting at the dinner table longer telling stories...all really good silver linings.


Winter is not so bad, I know that for sure this week.

Here's what else I know for sure right now:


  • Time is a tricky thing, but I really do love trying to enjoy the whole moment to moment, beauty of the ordinary  day.  I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  This scene from the movie About Time sums up how I feel about "this remarkable life."  It's such a good movie!



  • I love my dog. Next week our puppy arrives and I am so hopeful that Cosi snuggles up with Rufus like she is with this stuffed animal.



  • Podcasts are the coolest. I am mildly obsessed.  Seriously.  
Listen to this StoryCorps podcast if you want to be blown away by the power of forgiveness. It's one of the most touching stories I've ever heard, ever. Click here.

Listen to this story from Kemp Powers at The Moth.  I heard him tell it in person in Detroit last year. Soooooo good. Click here.


  • Wearing snow hats inside is totally okay in the winter. I love how Tim and JT have matching hat styles.



  • I am enjoying the hell out of The Beverly Hills Housewives and I don't care who knows it.  I am a total Lisa Rinna fan for sure.



  • KidsInTheHouse.com is a fabulous resource for parents.  I love it.  It is full of videos with experts speaking about a million different parenting topics.  Check it out.

  • Wade is all about the uniform and "the look" for his basketball games.


What do YOU know for sure this week?  Share it here or over on my Facebook page.  What are your silver linings this winter?

While you are online if you want to like my Facebook page that would be awesome.  And hey, come follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Winning the Lottery


A couple weeks before Christmas Tim gave me a card that had a printout of a reservation to the fancy hotel in town.  It was part of his Christmas gift to me.  Tim had arranged for his parents to keep the kids overnight and he and I were going to get away and play pretend at the fancy hotel.  

But we ran out of money because well, Christmas.  

So last Saturday night, we dropped the kids off at their grandparents for a sleepover and had no idea what we were going to do.  When you have a kids-sleep-over-at-the-grandparents-house-night-out once a year, it's a pretty big deal.  We didn't want to spend it running errands or organizing the basement.  We didn't want to sit around and discuss calendar plans for how we were going to get this kid to practice and that kid to a game.  We didn't want to talk about budgets and bills.  We didn't want to try and figure out how we are going to do life.
   
We had dinner at a burger joint and then went to a fancy bar for drinks.  We sat at the bar.  Tim ordered a Coke because he doesn't drink and I ordered "your cheapest red wine."  

We sat in the crowded bar and didn't talk about how we were going to do life.  Instead we created stories for people that were sitting around us.  A man holding a flower box, twisting his ring nervously, ordering drink after drink, looking around the room for someone, but who?  Maybe a younger woman. Maybe he was going to propose.  Would she show up? Or stand him up?  Would he be too drunk to propose?  We never did see what happened to him, but we had a great time playing pretend.

Because here's the thing, Tim and I don't know exactly how we are going to do life.  Four kids who will soon be four teenagers and then ahhh, college.  Money worries, calendar screw-ups, miscommunication, forgetting that we can talk about more than the kids, being tired all the time...it isn't easy for two pretenders/dreamers.

Sitting at the bar, looking at Tim and laughing at our stories we were making up, it reminded me of two much younger people sitting at a bar making up stories.  Stories about a life they dreamed of--getting married someday, having kids and maybe a dog and coaching little league and playing family football games in the backyard.  Tim and I met when we were 23 and 22 and we had no idea how we were going to do the life we dreamt of, but we were confident, lovesick pretenders/dreamers who just fumbled and bumbled our way to the life we wanted.

All those years ago, the younger versions of us went from bar to bar doing shots and maybe one of us danced on a table.  This past Saturday, we left after a couple drinks, stopped to buy Fudge Rounds (my all-time favorite and totally unhealthy Little Debbie snack cake) and a lottery ticket (the required, seemingly legit back-up plan for all pretenders/dreamers) and danced in our kitchen.  And then got caught up on Scandal.  

Life is a little more full of stress and worries and vulnerabilities  and responsibilities than when we were under 25.  But my god it is full of everything we ever wanted and more.  After all these years, we are still laughing, still dreaming, still pretending and telling stories and still dancing. Um, we kind of already won the lottery of good fortune and love and backyard family football games, and for that I am beyond grateful.

Damn, kids-sleep-over-at-the-grandparents-house-nights-out are important.  I'm feeling all grateful and in love and ready for all the fumbling and bumbling our way to the next dream, the next part of our story. And all the kitchen dancing.
A video posted by Angela Youngblood (@jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed) on

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Keep On Creating- A Pinterest Poser Challenge

My Pinterest Poser Challenge* for today is really a challenge for myself to keep on keeping on.  Keep making the recipes, making the crafts, finding solutions, having fun and looking for the beauty in everything. 

*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week I detail a new project/idea/recipe inspired by Pinterest.
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.

Here's some great advice on ways to stay creative that I found on Pinterest (here).
Just create it!  I love this advice, this challenge.

One of my personal kooky creative challenges for 2015 is to take pictures of the word LOVE when I see it, anywhere I see it.  A couple weeks ago walking around Detroit I saw the word and took a couple pictures.  Last week in Pittsburgh I saw the word in a shop and didn't cross the street to take a picture of it.  I wish I would have.  Why? Because I want to. I want to make a collage or a photo book.  Why? Because it's fun.  Because I love LOVE and words and letters and colors and beauty in the ordinary everywhere.


What are you going to create this year? How will you challenge yourself?  Have you made anything inspired by Pinterest lately?  Let me know in the comments or over on my Facebook page.



Come follow me on Pinterest (click here).

Here are some of the Pinterest projects I've done/made/attempted.
DIY Trundle Bed- Click here
DIY Artemis Costume- click here
Taking Pictures of Your Kids- click here
Gluten Free Pretzels- click here
Cinnamon Sugar Doughballs- click here
Painted Lockers- click here
Melted Beads- DIY Suncatcher- click here
Tissue Paper Pom Pom Garland-- click here
A Delightfully Simple Birthday Party--click here
Make An Awesome Omelet--click here
Outdoor Lights Inspired by the show Parenthood- click here
Herb Garden with Chalkboard Pots- click here
Backyard Graffiti Art with kids- click here
Happiness Notecards- click here
Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here
Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here
Make Your Own Magnets- click here
DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here
Dixie Cup Lights- click here
DIY Ornaments-click here
Gluten Free Clay- click here
Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here
Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here
Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here
Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here
Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here
Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here
Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here
Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here
Fake Bangs- click here
DIY Subway Art- click here
Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here
Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here
The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here
The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click here
The Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

Monday, January 5, 2015

Hopes for 2015

I'm not making resolutions really because I know that's not what we are supposed to do.  Right?  Making resolutions in January is just a recipe for disappointment, a set up for failure.  I don't want that.  I've done that too many times.  I mean "learn to speak French" has been on my resolution list for the past 15 years and I still can't speak it, talk about failure.  Womp. Womp.

And frankly, I'm over feeling like a failure.  The past few months left me in a bit of a funk.  This fall I tried to find a job and nothing came together (one place hired me and I couldn't get a babysitter, another place rejected me and I cried).  Parts of the holidays made me feel anxious because of leftover issues from my childhood that I just can't shake and a little bit of bad wiring and that just makes me feel like I failed therapy.  Then I got the flu and that just sucked.  

"You seem sort of um, I don't know...," Tim gently tried to describe my state-of-self the other day.

"Flat," I said.  

"Yes, exactly that," he sighed with relief.

Flat, deflated, unexpressive...these are words that are not me.  Quiet? Okay maybe sometimes.  Reflective? Sure.  But flat? Nope.  

So, enough!  Enough feeling blah. Fuck feeling flat and like a failure. It is January, 2015, I'm half-way through being 40 and sooo over feeling like I should be better and do better and speak French.  Instead of resolutions, I am making a list of things I hope happen or I hope I will do this year.  "Hope" seems more wishful less accountable-y and failure-y.  

1. I hope I run as much as I can because running saves me.  I live to run, run to live or something like that.  It is the only cure to my anxiety and depression.  Even a slow mile on a treadmill makes me think more clearly. So, I vow/hope (not resolve) to run more, everyday if I can.  Even if I run in place in my kitchen, I will do it.

2. I hope I get to be on a stage somewhere doing something interesting.  I discovered my love of stages in 2014 and I really don't want to go back to not being on one ever.

3. I hope I learn to make healthier meals for my family because I want them to be healthy and happy and strong.

4. I hope I go to more outdoor concerts.

5. I hope I get to visit a big city this year. Maybe BlogHer in New York city in July?

6. I hope I go on road trips because my god I love road trips. 

7. I hope it snows and the pond freezes and my whole family can go ice skating together this winter.

8. I hope my beloved dog, Cosi, likes my new puppy.
Our new puppy, Rufus, comes home later in January. 

9. I hope we can figure out how to grow grass in our backyard when all the kids play football and baseball and soccer and tag all the time (and I don't want them to stop!).

10. I hope I run in a race because I love races.  Where else can you run through a street and have people cheer you on and clap for you? Right? It's awesome.

11. I hope I climb the dunes on the shores of Lake Michigan again this summer.

12. I hope I'm not as scattered this year.
Being in the right year might help me to be less scattered.  On January 1, 2015 I noticed the chalkboard in my kitchen hadn't been updated in a couple years. Ha!

13. I hope I laugh a lot this year.

14. I hope I dance a lot this year.

15. I hope I finally get that tattoo I wanted all of 2014.
I bought this fake tattoo for myself for Christmas.  Fun! 

16. I hope I see old friends.

17. I hope I get a job.

18. I hope I beat Tim at ping pong.
Santa brought a ping pong table to our house and I think that Tim and I are having the most fun with it. I have never played ping pong before and I LOVE it.  I have successfully beaten all of my kids and am determined to take down Tim. 


19. I hope I write some really killer pieces that make me feel proud and alive creatively.

20. And yeah, okay, I hope I learn a little French.


"You have to choose your combinations carefully. The right choices will enhance your quilt. The wrong choices will dull the colors and hide their original beauty.  There are no rules you can follow. You have to go by instinct and you have to be brave." Whitney Otto, How to Make An American Quilt.
I love this quote and this quilt.  I found the quilt at my dad's when I was visiting.  My mother's mother made it. I brought it home with me.

I'm wrapping myself up in colors and stories and inspirational quotes and hope to be brave and make some good choices in 2015.

This is a colorful anthem for the beginning of the new year. Seriously, this song will unflatten you if you feel a little flat ight now.  
 
What are YOUR hopes for 2015?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2014-- All The Love


Happy 2015!

Before I jump into the new year with new ideas and new goals, I want to look back at all the love in 2014.  Here are some of my favorite pictures and check out our video montage of last year.



2014 Year in Review from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.