A Working Mom Cliche

So I'm working now, a lot. I'm working more hours at the preschool. I'm writing like crazy for the other job and even spent some time being all corporate-y the other day. I spent hours in a building with co-workers and even wore a blazer. Yup. I am bringing home the bacon. I mean some, not that much, but a little bacon.

Because I'm completely immature, I had to take a selfie in the corporate bathroom with signs like this. I thought I was hilarious.

For the most part it feels pretty good. I love contributing some bacon. And helping pay bills. And I love a lot of parts of both jobs--the sweet kiddos, the challenges, trying to make customer service sound Ahhhhmazing for the corporate folk, the people, wearing pjs to work at the preschool and wearing a blazer to the corporate-y gig. It's fun. It's fascinating. I like that my kids see me in a different light.

But yo, it's definitely challenging. There are a lot of times I feel like my head is spinning. My house is A DISASTER. I've made more gluten-free sandwiches for dinner than ever before. Days are jam freaking packed and I want more time. More time to do laundry, answer emails, hang out with the kids, actually talk to Tim, do more work, cook better dinners, walk the dogs, watch Real Housewives, work out, make to-do lists, sleep, ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

What's funny though, is that Tim's life doesn't seem to have altered that much. He still does what he did before. And so do I. Yeah, I still do all the cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning AND now some working. I cannot fucking believe I have become another cliche. Before this phase, I was the stay-at-home mom blogger who drove a minivan, um hello cliche. Now I am the working mom who does too much and then complains about it on her blog. Are you kidding me? How did this happen? 

I mean I'm supposed to be this incredibly liberal feminist married to a somewhat progressive conservative.  We were supposed to be better than this, more balanced, less traditional.

I guess it's an adjustment for all of us. For almost 12 years, I stayed home and took care of all the home stuff so I get that we need to maybe have a meeting and redistribute responsibilities. (Look at all that corporate meeting stuff rubbing off on me already. lol!)  The only thing is that Tim seems completely fine if some things just don't get done. He is perfectly okay to sit next to a laundry basket full of clothes waiting to be folded and NOT fold them. He is okay with playing a video game on his phone. He is more than okay with it, he seems totally happy and relaxed.

Maybe I need to learn to let some of the things go a little like Tim. Maybe.  Who knows? I have ZERO answers. I'm new at this. 

There was this article on Huffington Post about "having it all" that went viral this week. It's interesting and funny and rings true in parts to me. But I'm totally not trying to have it all or get ahead in any super driven career path. I mean I love my life. I'm just trying to do the best at jobs I'm getting paid to do and help pay bills and be the best parent and enjoy my family and life. That's all. 


This clip from Black-ish is more where I am right now....I love this.


(click here to watch the clip)

Tim plays a Simpsons game on his phone and every now and then Homer's voice will say something from his phone. If he gets a point or something Homer says "Better him than me. Doh." Yeah. While I'm stressing about laundry and balance and oh my god how do I do not all of it but most of it!!! Tim is playing  a Simpsons game on his phone. Oh.My.God.

We'll figure it out or we'll bicker and laugh about it and revel in our cliche-ness.  Life is intense in good and bad ways. It's full. It's busy. And hey, I'm bringing home some bacon.

And oh my god, since I talked about bringing home the bacon I thought I would put in the commercial from the 80s. You HAVE to watch this. No wonder we are so screwed up with expectations and roles and responsibilities. I mean this is nuts, hilarious, but nuts.

(click here to watch it)

Balance- Parenting ADHD

JT has ADHD. He's pretty chill about it. He's a pretty chill kid. He's more day dreamy than hyper active. He's forgetful as hell and completely uninterested in school. He's funny and sweet and wonderful too.  

All week he works hard in school, he tries to remember his homework, he makes lists, he goes along with routines...but after school and on the weekends when he gets on a court or a field or in the backyard, he comes to life.  It's like magic.

Oh my god, look at that smile. Ahhhhhh.

He's the kind of kid that doesn't fit into certain parts of this whole standardized testing world we live in. And it bugs him. And I get it. I get not fitting in. I get growing up with a brother and sister that are uber smart and have brains built for school and taking tests, and how that feels all kinds of intimidating. I get that being free and moving means everything. 

I get it all because JT gets all this ADHD crap from me.

So, last week when JT was having a rough couple days and it snowed (finally!), I picked him up early from school and we went skiing. 

I wanted to show him that there's more than school and grades and tests that matter. I'm not starting an unschooling movement, but balance is key for brains like ours. Balancing all the have-tos with the let's get out of here and see and do and run and be free moments, yeah those are definitely key to feeling better. Along with love and patience and compassion and moving, lots of moving. 

As school gets harder and social stuff gets more intense, I know things will get tougher for JT, and for me and for all of us. Parenting a kid with ADHD is no joke. I want to protect him and save him and make the world less standardized. But that's not how it works. So, I will teach him what I know about balance and embracing all the great parts of ADHD and being wired a little differently--the daydreams, the emotional intelligence, the fun, moving, being bold and unafraid of so much of life that scares other people, and so much more. And there will hopefully be a lot more mid-week skiing over the years!

Valentines & Older Kids (A Pinterest Poser Challenge)

Lately I've struggled a bit to figure out my role, or my place, within my own family. I mean duh, I'm the mom, the driver, the meal maker, the care taker, the anti-video game lady who is constantly terrified of football and online predators. Right. But I miss being the baby rocking, comfort giving, craft making, nurturing lady all the kids went to for advice and fun and hugs and kisses.  I can honestly say, I totally nailed my role as mom to young kids. Not that I had all the answers and was perfect-y perfect mom all the time. I just really enjoyed the hell out of it. I felt like it was the job I was meant to have, I felt completely comfortable in that job/role. 

But the mom job is evolving because woah, the kids are getting older. They are no longer impressed with my ability to make a happy face sandwich, and my silly dancing in the kitchen no longer makes them giggle. And that's OKAY. I get it, they are teenagers and this is the stuff that's supposed to happen and they are good kids, no, they are great kids and I love them madly. I'm just trying to figure out how to hold onto parts of my old position and still grow into my new position....mom of older kids.

Holidays are different with older kids. But last week I found ways to hold onto my silly traditions and include a couple of my bigger kids.  It's this week's Pinterest Poser Challenge, check it out.

*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week-ish I detail a new project/idea/recipe inspired by Pinterest.
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.

I don't care how old kids are, they will ALWAYS like dessert.  Wade is still young enough to want to bake with me. So, he and I baked Valentine's inspired cupcakes for the older kids and their friends the other night.  It was great one-on-one time with my youngest and a great way for him to not feel left out of the big kids' fun with their friends.

Oh my god, isn't he so cute. He's my baby!!!! And of course there is a ball in almost every picture because there is a ball in almost every room of my house.

I found these cute little cupcake toppers at Kroger for a couple dollars. Boosh! Happy Valentine's Day!

The kids only sometimes sit with me and make crafts anymore. Other times they ignore me and go do their own thing. And still other times they make the crafts I start on their own and that's cool.  When I suggested we make a heart garland for Valentine's Day, Lucy said sure but she was going to do it while watching a movie. That worked.

She drew the hearts on scrap book paper I had and then cut them out while watching "Jem and the Holograms."

I used a needle and thread to sew my hearts together while watching a movie later that night on my own. Our creation now hangs in the kitchen and I love it. 

I saw this on Pinterest somewhere years ago and made it before (click here to check it out)

I know, my kitchen looks like my Pinterest Poser Challenges threw up. Lol. It's not for everyone, but I love the homemade, chaotic look.   

I decided to add a few inexpensive decorating touches around the house that are really geared more toward younger kids, or the young at heart. I realized I just kind of dig all these cutesy decorations and maybe I wasn't even doing them for the little kids all those years, maybe I was doing them becuase I just liked them. So I put up pink doilies I got at the Dollar Store. I wrote a message on the chalk board that I want everyone in the family to know/always remember this Valentine's Day and forever.

Inspired by a million chalkboards on 

Pinterest and copied from one of them.

I don't know if the big kids even notice all my dumb decorations, but I hope they know that I love them. And that I'm going to figure out my role/place/evolved job as mom to older kids but I may never stop making crafts and making dessert for Valentine's Day, the Super Bowl, birthdays, special days, anniversaries and whenever anyone needs to feel better. I'm going to keep learning and keep growing and keep worrying and keep baking and keep mothering no matter how old we all get.

Have you made anything inspired by Pinterest lately? Got any favorite holiday crafts? Let me know in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

Come follow me on Pinterest 

(click here).

Here are some of the Pinterest projects I've done/made/attempted:

DIY Snowman Ornaments- click here

Milk Carton Halloween Luminaries- click here
Fall DIY (Painted Acorns)- click here

Kale Smoothie- click here

Power Tools- click here

Painting Sticks- click here

Homemade Pesto- click here

DIY Map Craft- click here

Homemade Chalk Paint- click here

A Flower Crown- click here

The Rainbow Challenge- click here

DIY Trundle Bed- Click here

DIY Artemis Costume- click here

Taking Pictures of Your Kids- click here

Gluten Free Pretzels- click here

Cinnamon Sugar Doughballs- click here

Painted Lockers- click here

Melted Beads- DIY Suncatcher- click here

Tissue Paper Pom Pom Garland-- click here

A Delightfully Simple Birthday Party--click here
Make An Awesome Omelet--click here
Outdoor Lights Inspired by the show Parenthood- click here
Herb Garden with Chalkboard Pots- click here
Backyard Graffiti Art with kids- click here

Happiness Notecards- click here

Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here

Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here

Make Your Own Magnets- click here

DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here

Dixie Cup Lights- click here

DIY Ornaments-click here

Gluten Free Clay- click here

Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here

Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here

Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here

Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here

Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here

Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here

Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here

Fake Bangs- click here

DIY Subway Art- click here

Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here

Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here

The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here

The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click here

The Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

Totally Tired and What I Know For Sure

Here's what I know for sure, I'm tired. I thought I knew tired, I mean I had four babies pretty close in age for goodness sake. But nope, now I am understanding tired in a whole new intimate way. 

Working is kicking my ass. Trying to figure out my role in my older kids' lives is playing games with my head and my heart. Trying to find that ever elusive balance to do all the things I want and need to do is daunting and I get tired just thinking about it.

Last year I couldn't find a part time job anywhere. I went on a lot of interviews. I actually got a job but had to pass on it because I couldn't find childcare for Wade. I was frustrated and discouraged. At the end of one interview the woman asking me all the questions looked at me lovingly and told me "the timing will be right soon, don't worry, it will be okay" and then she hugged me.  

I need a job because as the kids are getting bigger so are our bills.  Last year I couldn't get a job. This year though? I have a few new jobs.  That kind woman in that failed interview was right, the timing is just right now. I am grateful, still mostly broke, happy, a bit stressed and really, really tired.

I also know for sure that I wish there was more hours in a day and more days in a week. I want more time to do all the things that have to be done and things I want to do (like watch TV, I am so behind! Waaaaaa.) and call my brother back (so sorry Jeff, I've become that person, ugh). Also, I think I know for sure that I could use a hug from that kind woman from my failed interview and her to tell me not to worry and that it will be okay. 

Here's what else I know for sure this week:

• I am enjoying seeing who my kids are growing into but man, a part of my heart will always miss when my kids were babies. I truly LOVED these years so much.

Sweet baby JT.

• I suck as a movie fan this year. I started out this school year pledging to go see a matinee once a month on my afternoons off while the kids are in school,  but I only did it once so far. I usually see almost all of the Oscar nominated movies, but this year I have seen ZERO. This weekend I am supposed to see a movie on Saturday and I can't wait. I'm going to see Spotlight.

• Basketball season is in full effect in our house right now. Last weekend all the kids played in all kinds  of basketball games. 

Holy woah, even Peyton played this weekend and I cried from nerves and joy.

The court is JT's happy place.

After all the games were done, they were still playing basketball, duh.

• I don't feel bad about some of the co-sleeping happening at our house right now. Wade has always come into our bed at night, since he was 18 months old. He doesn't do it every night anymore. Soon he won't do it anymore at all. My baby isn't a baby anymore and you better believe I'm going to snuggle with him and love his little kid-ness right now.

• I love this song, and I don't feel bad about this either.

• Listen To Your Mother (LTYM) Detroit tickets are on sale! It's officially Listen To Your Mother season!!!! We don't have a cast yet (auditions are happening soon) but if you've been to our show before you know it's going to be good.  Click here to buy your tickets for the May 1st show.  And watch the video below of our recap from last year's LTYM show in Detroit.

LTYM 2015 from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.

Not So Normal

This post is sponsored by Uncommon Goods.

Last week I started feeling some serious anxiety. It's funny how anxiety works. It seems to creep into my life after the crisis. 

I'm wired for worry....I come from a long line of anxiety-ridden, under-diagnosed, over-prescribed worrier women. The plus side of this kind of wiring is that when bad stuff happens I can handle it like a badass (most of the time) because I'm always preparing for it. The down side of this kind of wiring is that when things are going well, or I get good news, I have a hard time feeling calm.  For example, after we got the good news from Peyton's doctor after the broken leg, the surgery, the helping him with everything, the physical therapy, the being positive and encouraging and being hopeful, I exhaled all of the past 84 days and cried. Even though I still stay hopeful and encouraging, I am nervous and worried about him getting hurt again. 

It's all about not having control or at least I think that's what I read in a self-help book years ago about these waves of anxiety that happen from time to time. The book was probably right because last week watching Peyton try to run on his healed leg and all the kids all over everywhere at practices and Tim working late and me running errands and working and walking the dogs and always feeling like I was running late and ahhhh...nothing felt like it was in my control at all. 

My happy place.

I started to feel very panicky on Friday afternoon. I even Googled "how to feel less anxious." Google told me to take deep breaths and visualize ocean waves. There were more tips on meditation and ideas about "planting your feet on the ground." I tried a few of them. Nothing worked.  Nothing until I picked up the kids from their friends' houses and we were all together in the minivan. I felt calmer with all my kids with me. Sure they were loud and rowdy and they bickered but we were together, and they were also funny and loving and ridiculous. Then we went to the grocery store and I finally felt peace. I still had no control (as I'm sure some fellow shoppers will attest to) but everything was as it should be in my head and heart.

Then we all really had a wonderful weekend together. Tim and I even  went on a date on Saturday night, our first date since November 2014, which is nuts because that's a crazy long time ago. We had so much fun, we even made a video dancing to a One Direction song (if that doesn't say romance for a couple of immature 40-year-olds I don't know what does!).

So yeah, we had our first date since Nov 2014. It was a pretty big deal. I worried about what I was going to wear and how I looked and the weight I've gained and ugh. I tried on an old dress and it looked ok, but then decided on a wavy drape-y shirt because I felt more comfortable...then I remembered that Tim and I have been together for almost 18 years and have been through everything good and bad together and it didn't matter what I wore.(or that I used duct tape to hem my pants before we left). We used a gift certificate to buy dinner but we were happily surprised when the manager came to our table and said that a couple at the bar bought us a round of drinks (the couple were friends that we had confided in that this was our first date in a while)! I didn't realize that my flowy/drape-y shirt was on inside out until we got home and did this kitchen dance. And nobody cared, not even me. Here's to date nights, couples who buy drinks for other couples, older kids that can babysit, having a whole lot of history with the love of your life and for dancing in your kitchen to One Direction!!!! #datenight #kitchendance

A video posted by Angela Youngblood (@jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed) on Jan 30, 2016 at 7:05pm PST

I wish that the anxiety didn't come back, but it did. I was grateful and full of joy, but I was also over-sensitive and emotional and anxious still. It was maddening. I was worried about the worry and worried that Tim would think I was ungrateful and that he wouldn't understand and remember that these waves pass. Then I got this text from Tim and everything was as it should be in my head and heart.

I get that it's not all that normal for people to have waves of worry this big sometimes. I get that it's not all that normal that my safe and happy place is with my four loud and rowdy kids in a grocery store. I get that it's not all that normal to be married to a person that understands and appreciates and supports and gives such unbelievable, unconditional love. 

But it's my not so normal life and love story.
  

This post about our not so normal life/love  story is sponsored by Uncommon Goods. Uncommon Goods is a marketplace featuring thousands of unique and unusual gifts, from fun jewelry and cool accessories to creative home decor and kitchen items.  I LOVE that story is important to the company. They say this-- "we know that there's a story behind every product...with your help, we're building a community of passionate people who love our products and connect with the stories behind them." YES!!! Click here to find out more about Uncommon Goods.

I made a wish list and might have left it open on my computer in case Tim wants to get me a Valentine's Day gift because um, it's Valentine's Day in a couple weeks!

Here are a few of my favs:

Check out the other Valentine's Day inspired gifts at Uncommon Goods, click here.

Another great feature of the Uncommon Goods site is that they have collections with ideas for the perfect gift for not just Valentine's Day, but other special times too like anniversaries and baby showers.

Remembering & What I Know For Sure

A few weeks ago Tim and the kids sat down at the computer and were looking at old blog posts I'd written. It was fun to go back through old posts and old pictures. 

Remembering is good most of the time. It's weird to see how small everyone was just a few years ago, sort of bittersweet. But it was just mostly sweet remembering and retelling the stories...it led to more remembering and more stories. 

When I was a kid I loved putting together picture albums for my family and how all of us gathered around them, looking, laughing and remembering. The computer is now like our old photo album.

I know for sure that it's good to do some remembering with the family and I'm grateful I have this blog to help tell and preserve our stories.

Here's what else I know for sure this week:

• Speaking of stories, I can't wait to hear more stories...Listen To Your Mother stories. It's that time of year again and I love it. Our show in Detroit is on Sunday, May 1 and tickets will be on sale soon. But first we are holding auditions. If you know anyone with a story to share about motherhood, send them to this link-- http://listentoyourmothershow.com/metrodetroit/

• Ramona Forever! I loved Beverly Cleary books growing up. My parents gave me Ramona Quimby Age 8 on my 8th birthday and it was THE best gift ever. Even though my own daughter was all "eh" not so into them, I will always and forever love Ramona Quimby. In honor of Beverly Cleary's 100th birthday, a few of her books are being reissued with some pretty famous forwards.  Here's one of my favorite forward quotes from Amy Poehler about our girl Ramona.

“In today’s world, where people are always searching for ‘strong female characters,’ Mrs. Cleary was ahead of her time. Ramona was a pest! She was irascible and uncompromising! She was allowed to be angry and was not afraid to stand up to boys!”— Amy Poehler, on Ramona Quimby, Age 8

• Wade is a beast on the basketball court.  This kid is fearless and so ready to play.  

He doesn't have a lot of support...lol.

• This video is LOVE. I've professed my love before for Dallas Clayton's work, but I hadn't seen this video interpretation of one of his books before and HOLY WOAH I LOVE IT!!!!! Seriously worth the watch. Beautiful stuff.
An Awesome Book of Love from Furlined on Vimeo.

  An Awesome Book of Love from Furlined on Vimeo.

• Speaking of love, man I love Dax Shephard and Kristen Bell. I'm sure you've seen their Africa video. No? Watch it or rewatch it. It's awesome.

  (click here to watch the video)

• Speaking of Dax, I miss Parenthood the TV show so much (um which Dax was on, remember?).  I miss watching a TV show that made me laugh and cry and was about families. Waaaaa. I am over Shondaland. 

What do YOU know for sure this week?