Friday, February 28, 2014

The Good Side of Anger & What I Know For Sure

When I was younger, my mother used to call me Angry Angie.  She was making fun of me, but she was right.  I was angry a lot, about a lot.  Years later, a therapist told me that my anger saved me from a life of crime.  I'm kidding, but she did say the anger probably saved me from making some unhealthy choices or from sinking into a depression during some of the more difficult times in my life.

My anger wasn't a mean, all I want to do is fight with anybody I meet kind of anger.  It wasn't a I'm going to rain on your parade because I'm mad at the world kind of anger.  It was more a oh yeah, I'll show you, you think you're so great, well watch out world kind of vibe.  Of course I definitely had a short fuse and would never hide from confrontation because you know, I'll show you and all.  

I was kind of an independent, angry, bad ass until I met Tim.  When I fell in love I became all vulnerable and hopeful and um, happy.  And then of course I started having panic attacks because duuuude, being so happy can be a shock to the system of such an angry person.  And what if I lost it all or what if he leaves me or what if I do something to screw it up or what if...what if????? 

Over the years, I got a handle on the anxiety and just got happier and happier.  Good marriage? Check. Four cute kids? Check.  I find myself living the suburban dream, well my version of it anyway.  I try to live in the moment, be filled with compassion and wonder and laughter. Ahhhhhh.

But every now and then, the old me comes out.  For example the other day, Tim texted me about something negative another parent had said about one of our four cute kids.  I calmly texted Tim back a message full of expletives that would make a lot of people blush.  I might have mentioned "that assholes of the world need to take notice because I will go all Liam Neeson on them."  Yeah, that's right.  I like Liam as my new anger metaphor.  He's older, unassuming, but really pulls off intimidating I'll show you kind of anger in his recent action films.

Oh my gosh, watch this and you'll understand why he's my anger idol.

Now I most likely will never act on this anger, other than keeping a close eye on this parent and how they interact with my child.  But I must tell you, knowing I still got it, doesn't feel bad to me.  I like knowing I still have a little fire in my belly.  

Now that I'm older and so much wiser (and happier) I believe that anger isn't all bad.  I don't like when people are angry and mean, like all those mad people that comment on everything on the Internet.   Anger can be okay.  Anger can help people cope and get through.  Anger can motivate people to create change.  Anger can fire people up right out of a rut.  

Here's my list of things I'm okay with being angry about:

I am angry my metabolism has pretty much died.
I am angry that yoga pants aren't just called pants.
I am angry that angry, mean people lash out.
I am angry about injustice.
I am angry that people are prejudice and racist and sexist.
I am angry that I don't live in a state with more sunshine.
I am angry that some parents don't care.
I am angry that bullying doesn't make more people angry.
I am angry when anyone tells me "no way" or "you can't" when it's something I know that oh there's a way and you bet I can.

Sometimes, it's okay to get angry, I know that for sure this week.
**Disclaimer** I am not encouraging rage, because that's a whole different beast.  And I've had enough therapy to know that anger usually masks sadness and all that and at some point you/we/I need to deal with it all.**  

Here's what else I know for sure this week:
  • I'm looking forward to Oscar Sunday. Come play along on twitter with me during the show, I'll be live tweeting (@AngelaYBlood).  Here's my latest vlog where I give some solid advice to the honorees on how to not have crappy acceptance speeches:

  • Life is better when you use different accents.  That is the wisdom I shared with my children this past week.  They are used to my accents, I have been doing them all their lives.  During the Olympics, of course it was all Russian.  But now I am trying to perfect my Irish accent because you know, Liam Neeson is from Ireland.
  • JT is a cute mouse.  Nothing to get angry about here, JT nailed his sweet little mouse role in the second grade musical this week.

  • Late night is my must-see TV. I am so loving everything on at 11 p.m. & later. The Jimmy's, The Daily Show and Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live...I mean come on, it's just so much fun.  It seems like I might just have a clip from Jimmy Fallon every Friday from now on.  Here's today's:

  • Lucy was an adorable baby.  She totally wins "Cutest Baby" in our family mock elections.  Super Lucy turns 10 this weekend and I can't really believe it.  

What do you know for sure (this week)?  C'mon, we're friends, share what you know. 

Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page or on Twitter.

Please come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.


  1. I looove all of the award shows.
    You do have a cute mouse there!


  2. "We love struggle" - hah!
    It's been a while since I've watched the Oscars. Just boooooring.
    Lucy was a cute baby, and omigosh, TEN!

  3. I know for sure that you are a badass and you can get things done and I'm glad I'm on your side.

  4. I like your kind of anger. It's standing up for what you believe in, and that is inspiring to me.