Get Engaged

So I don't know if you know, but I went to this big blogging conference called BlissDom this past weekend.  Yup.  

It was a big deal because there were a lot of bloggers, writers, vloggers, social media types all travelling to the Lone Star state to discuss social media stuff.  

It was a big deal because I rarely leave my kitchen.

I was nervous about flying.  I was nervous about being alone.  I was nervous about going over budget. I was nervous about being too big for my britches.  I was nervous about everything.

But, I'm happy to report that this story has a happy ending.  My BlissDom weekend was everything I needed it to be.

Last year, I went for the first time.  I stayed off site, stayed quiet and stayed overwhelmed.  I came home inspired but doubtful.  I was like the typical freshman in high school wandering the halls confused and lonely and needy.

This year, it was the typical high school transformation.  I walked around like a sophomore or junior full of confidence and enthusiasm.  Not senior level yet, I didn't rule the school by any means. But the beauty of being a  sophomore or junior was I could be excited without the pressure.  I felt like I knew a few things, but no one expected me to ace my college entrance tests.   

I wasn't oozing neediness.  I didn't need to follow anyone or go to sessions I wasn't interested in.  I trusted my instincts.  I listened to my gut.  I went places alone.  I skipped sessions to take a nap.  It was liberating.  It was awesome.

More people approached me this year than last.  I made more friends and had more meaningful conversations and more fun.  The more self-assured and comfortable in my own skin I became, the more people I interacted with.  It was like when you're single and all you want is a relationship.  You ooze neediness and crush on so many guys.  Then when you find yourself in a relationship (usually after you gave up looking) all those guys you crushed on who were so turned off my your neediness suddenly find you very interesting.  Yeah, my experience at BlissDom was a lot like that.

Any social media conference will tell you that to be successful on the Internet or in business or in life it's all about engaging.  Engage with your customers, readers, followers, etc.  Engage with your family and friends.  Show up, respond to those emails, reply to a tweet, share a Facebook post, ask your spouse how their day went, play catch with your kid, walk your puppy. No sitting on the sideline.  Get in there and play the game of life.  Whether it's a blogging conference, a bumpy flight, or Tweeting from your kitchen,  ENGAGE.

It sounds so cliche, but it's true engaging makes life (and blog conferences) better.  I engaged all over BlissDom with new friends, celebrities (watch for my How To Talk To A Celebrity vlog tomorrow, it will have good tips like make sure you mention movies they weren't in), bloggers, burritos at the Mexican restaurant.  Yes, I engaged everywhere and it was amazing.

I met so many interesting people. Check out a few of the awesome people I spent time with this past weekend:

I got to hang out with my buddy Greta from GFunkfied.  And quite simply, I love her.

The amazing and hilarious Hillary at Because My Life is Fabulous.  

My workout buddy and just plain fabulous Kristen from  Choosing Joy.

The sweet and wonderful Jaima from Ring Around the Rosies.  

It's Going To Be Alright And Pet Peeves (& Mama Kat)

Well, it's time.  I'm outta here.  I've already left in fact.  
My weekend away has officially begun.  BlissDom is happening whether I'm ready or not.

And really I'm not all that ready.  But it will be alright.

While readying myself for this blogging conference adventure, I ordered business cards.  Cards that will be ready and arrive in Michigan today, after I arrive in Texas today.  Whomp. Whomp.  But it will be alright.

That's my go-to phrase for, well, everything.
It's the phrase that I always want Tim to say whenever life gets chaotic or stressful.  It's my mantra really--It will be alright.  And besides, if it's not alright, it usually makes a funny story eventually.

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook for all my updates from BlissDom.


This week while I was failing at readying, I missed my Wednesday vlog link up with Mama Kat.  

So here's my day late link up about Pet Peeves.  It involves Mickey Mouse, car loops and grumpy people at a grocery store.  Check it out:

If you get the blog via email subscription, here's the link for the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ynbCdRi53I Check it out!)

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Leaving On A Jet Plane Alone

Love this quote, love this book.
I'm hoping this is how I feel next week.

I'm a ball of nerves.
I'm all over the place. 
I'm vulnerable.
You might be saying what's new?  But it's different.  It's more intense.  Because I'm leaving.

In a few days, I will get on a plane heading to the blogging conference, BlissDom, in Dallas.  It will be the first time I've flown alone since 1999.**  Yeah, so when I say it was a century ago that I went anywhere on a plane alone I'm totally not kidding. 
**I've been on a plane since 1999, but with either with my friends or family, never alone.**

Back then I wasn't even married, I wasn't even living with Tim yet but we were dating, I took a jet plane to a conference about software marketing in Palm Springs. Because I was a software marketer and back then software companies had tons of cash and flew their employees to conferences anywhere. While I was there I skipped the group dinners and dined alone reading my book.  I hiked up to the art museum and rented a bike and rode around town, alone.

Back then I knew how to be alone.  I loved being alone.  

When I was a kid I enjoyed being alone.  I would spend entire afternoons riding my bike alone making up stories about the people that lived in the houses and apartments nearby.  I would spend hours swinging alone and sing every single song from the Annie soundtrack.

I was always needed space.  I loved people and always had at least a couple close friends, but I was never a roommate kind of girl.  

When I graduated from college, I got my own apartments and traveled alone to places like Washington, D.C. and New York City.  I loved people watching and museum hopping alone, finding my way around a strange city alone, and then going back to my hotel and ordering take out and watching movies alone.

But now, I don't know how to be alone.  Because I am never alone.
I went from a pretty solitary young adulthood to a household with five other people and now a puppy.  Even though it is overwhelming at times and crazy and loud and nuts and all kinds of sensory overload and exhausting, I love it.  I have adapted, some might say I am thriving, okay nobody would say that.  But I do love it.

This was the chaos that was my weekend:
a lot of puppy time, a school carnival, church, a birthday celebration and more puppy time.

Now when I find myself with an hour alone while the big kids are at school and Wade is in preschool, I rush around trying to figure out what to do.  I usually lose my keys or go the library and forget the book that I was going to return.  I'm unorganized and frazzled and then time is up.


Here's a short vlog I made about my time alone while Wade is at pre school.  (Now of course, the quiet time is filled with puppy time.)


It's been so long that I have had a child on my hip or holding my hand or two or three or four kids in the van with me, it is my normal.  It is my comfort zone.


Of course, I won't be alone at the conference, there will be hundreds of people.  There will be several people that I know and can't wait to visit.  But I will be alone on a plane, in an airport, in a hotel room, maybe in a restaurant, back on a plane and in an airport and then in a car ride home. Sorry to get all Dr. Seuss-I'll-eat-green-eggs-and-ham-in-a-box-on-a-train-in-the-rain-on you, but you know what I mean.  I won't be in charge of anyone else, but me.  I honestly can't even imagine what it will feel like.

There are so many little moments over the course of the last, oh I don't know, 12 years, where I've dreamed of jumping an a plane and getting the f@&* out of my chaotic house full of children and demands.  But now that's it's three days away...
I'm a ball of nerves.

I'm all over the place. 

I'm vulnerable.

I think this is a beautiful poem/video about being alone:

And of course, since I said "leaving on a jet plane" in this post, I had to put up the song.  I LOVE Mama Cass John Denver, I'm totally serious.  I also totally want John Denver's shirt in this video.

Because of Blissdom

I always think of extremely witty, smart comebacks as I'm walking away from a person.  That's true for most of us right?  Please say, right.  Please say I'm not alone in this.

The whole saying "hindsight is 20/20" is a saying for a reason.  Looking back we know the exact right things to say to people, the right decisions to make, the right paths to take.  

I don't look back on my life with too many regrets.  But I do look back and think, "oh man, I totally should have said..." Mostly though, I look back on my life and I think, I mean I wish, I would've relaxed a lot more.  

Thinking back to my very first (and still only) blog conference I went to is that way.   This time last year, I was anxiously prepping as much as I could on a very limited budget and blogging know-how, for Blissdom. (Here's the post where I write a bit about my nerves/prep, eloquently titled Suck it Haters.) 

Honestly, I thought I had no business going to a blogging conference.  I'd only had my blog for about six months and was really winging it.  I didn't have business cards, a Facebook page for my blog or a niche or any real goals.

But I knew I wanted more.  I wanted to learn how to do more.  I knew I wanted to connect.  I knew I wanted to get away. 

So I anxiously, set out for Blissdom not knowing a soul.



I drove from Detroit, Michigan to Nashville, Tennessee.



Even though, the event was extremely well run and welcoming, I was so nervous.  You see, I packed all my insecurities in my suitcase along with my bright colored scarves and flower pins that I envisioned real bloggers wear.  

The conference itself was informative, entertaining, engaging, exhilarating and so much more.  It was a whirlwind.  

Scenes from last year's Blissdom.

Looking back, I wish I would've had more confidence in myself.  I wish I would've worried less about what I didn't know.  I wish I would have relaxed a lot more.  But that's life.  That's the whole 20/20, life lessons thing going on there right?

But here's the thing about Blissdom,  it wasn't just a weekend.  I continue to learn and connect.  The whole past year has been full of moments where I've said "well, that's because of Blissdom."  

Because of Blissdom Moments:

• I finally had the confidence (and know how to pitch and take advantage of)  to write reviews, on my terms.  As well as pursue more freelance writing opportunities.

• My blog Facebook page was set up and now has over 600 fans (which is a lot to me).

• I have friends all over the country.  Not just contacts, real friends.  Some of my pals from Blissdom (some that I only met for five minutes in the hallway in between sessions) know me and get me better than any of the PTA parents at my kids' school.  We support each other, comment and retweet.  We share our lives with each other on Instagram and through our storytelling.

• I dyed my hair pink.  When I walked around the hotel at Blissdom last year people watching, I was in awe of how many women had funky colored hair.  And I loved it.  My pink hair was temporary, but so incredibly fun and empowering.

• I say "yes" more.  After conquering, okay attending, a conference where I knew no one, I feel like I can let go of some of my fear.  I feel like I can take a few more risks and say yes when opportunity knocks.

• My YouTube channel was born.  I'm a writer, that's why vlogging seemed utterly crazy to me.  But because I'm in a place of yes (ala Bethenny Frankel), I agreed to become a part of the MomPulse community on YouTube and start vlogging.  And I LOVE it, it's opened up a whole new creative outlet for me and it is so. much. fun.

• I say "sorry" less and am indeed a little more relaxed.  I was right when I envisioned bloggers wearing bright colors and flower pins, those women were everywhere.  They were there with the bloggers with the pink hair.  There were also bloggers with babies on their hips, bloggers with book deals, bloggers with fancy cameras, bloggers who were extroverts and bloggers who were introverts.  There was no one way to be a blogger and that made me feel better.  It made me accept my individuality a little more and quit apologizing for not being a certain type.  When people ask me what I do, I don't make fun of it, I proudly say "I have a blog where I write about life and how f#&*ing crazy it can be," and then I add "I'm a writer and it's a great job, it makes me really happy."

I'm heading back to my second blogging conference, Blissdom again, in March.  

This time around, I really will be more relaxed.  I'll worry less and enjoy more.  I'm looking forward to actually seeing and visiting in person with all my friends.  I'm looking forward to learning and connecting and mostly having fun.

Here's my wrap up post from last year's Blissdom, the one where I refuse to be categorized.

Getting Connected

"I could blog. I have thoughts."

-Julie, Julie and Julia 

A week ago I was at that big ol' social media conference in Nashville, Blissdom, where I knew no one.  



This is the opening video from last year, but so awesome I think it should be replayed to inspire you on a monthly basis.


Have I told you I knew no one at the conference? But I made some connections.  

And here's what I know for sure:

Going to a social media conference is awesome because everyone is on their phones.  It isn't rude to be tweeting during a speaker, it's encouraged.  So fun. 

Connecting with Rascal Flatts was cool.  They were great and after they were done performing they posed for pictures with over 700 giddy women.  It was fun, well for us.  When I posed for this picture I slapped the guys on the back and said something like "nice set." 

But you see at these types of conferences, the real celebrities are the bloggers themselves.  I knew a blogger I follow was going to Blissdom and was hoping I'd see her from afar.  But my new brave friend encouraged me (actually set up the impromptu meet and greet) with Edie from a fabulous blog Life In Grace.  

I teared up. I f-ing had tears in my eyes.  What a freak!  I mumbled something about how moved I've been by her writing, her pictures and her experiences she shares.  She and I are very different--she homeschools, is very religious and I imagine she doesn't say the f word as much as I do, if ever.  But I read every post she writes.  I am connected.

I learned I can pull of a flower belt.

That's my pouty lip model look. Scary.

And maybe even a flower thing for my hair?  Just maybe.  I connected with another fabulous blogger/crafter/entrepreneur, Lindsey from The Pleated Poppy.  She was selling some of her stuff at a handmade market at Blissdom which is where I bought these fun accessories.

I didn't want to just stop at a flowered belt, I wanted to do more.  The conference was full of all sorts of interesting looking women.  Many with cute flowers pinned to their shirts and great bags.  Others had bright pink hair.  Some were pierced and others donned conservative blazers.  I felt inspired to be true to my creative self.  A self that has been unleashed in the past year.  A self that has always been there, but feels so much more alive creating, writing, producing. A self that has always wanted a nose ring.  


Maybe next year Blissdom will have a piercing and tattooing sponsor with a booth smack dab in the middle of a big ballroom at Opryland.  I would totally have had the guts to get that coveted nose ring.  And I am sure some of the women attending who were overcome with awakening that slumbering creative self or just meeting that self for the first time, would've left with Blissdom or Bliss tattooed somewhere on their body. Because they felt connected.


Because what else I know for sure is that we women storytellers are epic and revelutionary.  I know that because another superstar blogger Catherine Connors from the blog Her Bad Mother and Babble told me so at Blissdom.  

But I knew that somewhere in my heart. 
Stories connect us.


A dear friend (not a blog or twitter friend) of mine who died of cancer last month used to urge everyone to "tell the stories. over and over, tell the stories. they matter to you, your kids and their kids."  And you don't need a blog to do that.


My blog friend that got me hooked on this whole blogging/storytelling land started out as a real life friend and JT's amazing preschool teacher. Veronica King writes a beautiful, gut-wrenchingly honest and loving blog called EveryDay Kings.  

She is nominated to be one of Circle of Moms.com 25 moms with inspiring families and you better believe she is inspiring.  Please vote click here to vote for her.  (Only six days left to vote.)


My favorite movie about blogging, well really it's about more than that, is Julie and Julia.  It's about finding your voice, your dreams and pursuing what gives you real joy.  It's not about getting a book deal or movie rights or pimping products until you've lost yourself.  This movie, like Blissdom, is about connecting to who and what matters to you.  It's about passion and being brave enough to try and create a life you want, being fearless.  A life you can say, "I tried everything I said I would.  Some things worked out, some things didn't.  From each thing I learned and grew.  But it was mine and I was happy."


Now that would be quite a story.




Favorite line from this movie is "I could blog. I have thoughts."

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Driving, Singing, Conferencing

Last week I went to a blogging conference and funny enough stepped away from my blog for the longest time in almost six months.  I just got back last night.

There is so much to say.  I learned so much about what I want to be and even what I don't want to be.
Here's an under 2 minute movie about my experience at Blissdom.





I discovered things about myself like the fact that I get that creepy Tom Cruise overdone laugh when I am nervous around new people. Ugh.  I discovered that I like people, but I am not all of a sudden a super social party-loving kind of gal.  


I discovered that if you asked me "Are you more like Gayle or Oprah?" (because I'm sure that's what you were going to ask me), I would say Gayle.  I would say that because I sang (or rapped) the entire road trip down to Nashville and back (like Gayle on their famous road trip if you weren't making the connection).  


Here's an under 2 minute movie about how I entertained myself on the road.



More deets after I get myself together.

I'm Outta Here

A year ago, I was thinking about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be.  I was reading blogs and thinking about starting my own.


One morning I read about how one of my favorite blog writers was on their way to Blissdom, a blog/social media conference.  That one morning happened to be a morning I too was leaving on a trip---a trip to take care of my mother who was in the hospital refusing rehab, again.


I quietly wished I was going to Blissdom.  I wished that I was a blogger, a writer, a woman who pursued a dream, a passion, an identity.  An identity outside of taking care of my beloved children (whom I adore, so don't take that the wrong way) and my husband (who is totally capable of taking care of himself, but we've fallen into certain, stereotypical roles, it happens people), and my mother (who if you don't know yet, is a trend setting baby boomer drug addict with slight to extreme mental issues).


So this year, today, right now, I am doing it.  I have a blog and I am going to Blissdom in search of more social media knowledge and of course, followers.  And it feels f-ing fantastic, but still a little scary.


Here's a little mini-movie about it.

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