Put Yourself Higher on the List

**I participated in this sponsored campaign on behalf of REACH® and One2One Network. **

"It's been two years," I said immediately avoiding eye contact and laughing a little too loudly.  "I've been really busy, you know and um, I mean I brush my teeth all the time and I promise I floss, I do. I really do."

The woman I was confessing all of my dental sins was a very kind hygienist who was holding a paper bib up, patiently waiting for me to finish talking before putting it around my neck.  I'm sure she's heard worse. I mean right?

Not only am I possibly one of the most annoying dental patients in history, I am (once again) the thing I keep fighting against and denying that I am....a cliche.  I am the guilt-ridden mom who has lost her way on the fitness/nutrition journey and almost always puts herself last cliche.  

My doctor, dentist and hair appointments are at the end of a very busy, kid-centered to-do list.  And I'm starting to feel the effects of it all. I've gained weight, fallen off the no-soda wagon in a huge way, set a record of the number of days between highlights and failed to schedule my mammogram for over a year. Even my kids are noticing my lack of self-care. When my pre-schooler drew a picture of me for Mother's Day this year he included my "black roots" in my "yellow hair."

Wade's version of me, dark roots and all.

It's amazing how fast it all happens. How easy it is to put yourself last on a list, become a cliche and find yourself apologizing in a dentist office chair.

"No need to say you are sorry," the hygienist told me.  "It happens. The most important thing is you are here now. It's never too late to put yourself a little higher on the list."  Then she put the paper bib on me and started cleaning my teeth.

That ultra-patient, brilliant hygienist is right. It's not too late. 

Sometimes I get overwhelmed and intimidated by all the Pinterest posts and hashtags about "self care" and getting healthier.  I feel like I need to train for a 1/2 marathon, buy all kinds of wraps, make homemade kale smoothies for every meal, read a classic novel, and soak in a bubble bath in order to call it "self care."  Which all makes me feel like a failure at "self care" and I go and eat shredded cheese out of the bag, drink diet coke and fall asleep watching The Real Housewives (without brushing my teeth!).  It's a vicious cycle.

But you know what else is on Pinterest? Optimistic quotes about picking yourself up when you mess up again and again.  So, loaded with inspirational quotes and the brilliant hygienist's kind words, I am making some changes and putting myself a little higher on the list.

Just like all the romantic comedies when the main character pulls herself together after a break-up, I am figuring it out. I am discovering that even small changes can make a big difference. Going to the dentist and making my mammogram appointment.  Waking up early and going for a jog.

Up with the sunrise to jog a few miles. I love feeling accomplished before 7 a.m.

Going to bed earlier. Laying off the shredded cheese. Letting go of the guilt for not getting it right all the time.  Letting go of feeling like a failure because I am not training for a 1/2 marathon. Embracing the fact that I enjoy The Real Housewives.  Putting my phone down during the day and not worrying because I am not responding to the thread on Facebook.  Going for a walk after dinner with my dogs. Laughing more. 

I am finding more ways to simplify taking care of myself and my health, like reading a chapter of my book while the kids are at practice. And finding products that make all this self care a little easier, for example the REACH® Complete Care™.  

REACH® Complete Care™ says their products keep proper oral care all within REACH by "streamlining and solving a busy mom's daily routine to ensure they maintain healthy smiles year-round." I love that. 
For more information about REACH® Complete Care™ click here- https://bit.ly/AllWithinREACH

The REACH® Complete Care™ Mouth Rinse also comes equipped with a toothbrush holder, which ensures the head of the toothbrush stays clear of any countertop bacteria. My rinse/toothbrush holder is set to the side to indicate to my large family that it is mine, all mine. I not only love the efficient design, I love that I have something of my own in this house.  The mouth rinse makes my teeth and my whole mouth feel cleaner and better. It is called an "8-in-1 rinse" which means it kills bad breath germs, helps prevent gingivitis, reduces plaque, fights tartar build-up, freshens breath and cleans your mouth. I seriously can't wait to tell my brilliant hygienist "friend" about this product.

It's the little things. It's brushing teeth and having my own space. It is not apologizing for any of it--not taking the time to take care of myself or the fact that I forgot to do it in the first place--but yet being accountable. 

I've got my back.

Self care, complete care, radical self care, having your own back...whatever you call it do it.  Put yourself higher on the list.

I received a REACH® product for free in order to facilitate this post, but all opinions are my own. 

The Brother Phenomenon/Force

When one brother plays baseball, they all play want to play baseball.  When one brother likes a certain video game, they all want to find out what that video game is all about. It's a brother phenomenon, or something like the force from Star Wars.  

My three boys are all individuals with their own interests and personalities, but they are also part of this brother phenomenon/force.  It's so interesting to watch the little brothers imitating and wanting to be like the big brothers.  

My boys share a room, sports equipment and very busy lives. The little boys are always watching the older brothers.  

"With all of this comes great responsibility," I told my oldest son the other day, sounding sort of like Master Yoda from The Empire Strikes Back.

The youngest and the oldest brother.

My oldest is responsible and smart and kind. He is also a bit quiet and sometimes uncertain of himself. Think Luke Skywalker.

If I were to compare my younger sons to characters from Star Wars, I honestly might say they are like Han Solo and Chewbacca (or "Chewie").  All bravado and confidence and good times. They are also loyal and loving and funny.



The little brothers are becoming more and more like a package deal lately.  Wade is the bat boy for JT's baseball team. JT is proud of him and Wade is elated to be included. 

Everything they do is a competition.  "I'll beat you to the front door," one of them always says when they get out of the car.  They play hard together and they fight big too. 

Peyton, the oldest brother, looked at this picture and said "what are you going to do when these two are teenagers and I am in college?" Even he understands these two
are going to take us on a wild ride.

More and more I see that my job as the Master Yoda in all this is to try to teach them to use the force for good. I have to learn to sit back and let them make mistakes. Ahhhhh. I need to give them tools to help them on their journey.  Sure I can't teach my boys how to levitate an X-Wing Fighter out of Degobah swamp, but I can teach them some things. I can teach them to be kind and supportive of each other. I can teach them to use their competitiveness in positive ways.  

It's the little things, it's the big things, it's everything.

Last week, the little boys got new toothbrushes and even that turned into a competition.  There was a little pushing in front of the sink and some harsh words were spoken. But just like Yoda, I walked into the bathroom and told them in a wise, calm voice to "push the buttons on the toothbrushes and be quiet and wait and to listen." 

Their new Firefly® Star Wars toothbrushes are shaped like light sabers and when you push the buttons they make sounds like in a light saber battle and say things like "the force is with you."  My boys were/are extremely impressed.

Wade, who is in preschool, especially loved his new toothbrush and has even made a chart to keep track of how often he brushes his teeth. No more bribing my kids to get them to brush. The toothbrushes are extremely affordable and ADA-approved.

Not only were they impressed, they brushed their teeth without a real battle (with each other or me). Even the biggest brother thought their new toothbrushes were pretty cool. He looked into the bathroom and gave them an approving Skywalker-like nod. The little boys stood up a little straighter after that and brushed with pride and brotherly love.

So like I said, it may not be a lesson in mind control or levitation, but it matters. It's all a part of the bigger picture.  It all matters as we teach our little Padawans to take care of themselves and each other and to use the brother phenomenon/force for good.

You know what else is good? Winning a trip to California. Yup, it's the #BrushBattle Sweepstakes from the folks at Firefly. Click here http://bit.ly/FireflyBrushBattle for a chance to enter to win a trip for four to an "awesome theme park" in California.  Good luck and may the force be with you!


Firefly® is a leader in Children's Oral Care solutions and the inventor of the Ready Go Brush. The toothbrushes are really fun and come in other popular characters such as Angry Birds, Hello Kitty, Marvel and more. The toothbrushes have interacting flashing lights and 60-second timers that help teach kids healthy habits that will last a lifetime.

I participated in this sponsored campaign on behalf of Firefly® and One2One Network. All opinions stated are my own.

Lyric Lover- A Music Review of Heart On My Sleeve

Song lyrics have always been important to me.  In college I was the girl that had the perfect song for the moment.  Back then I would drag my jam box out from my bedroom and play what I thought was the perfect CD for the moment (because it was of course a million years before iTunes and iPods and playlists).  From bad break ups (hello Alanis Morissette) to my life isn't exactly like I thought it would be (thank you Sarah McLachlan for understanding) to I just want to be me (amen Ani DiFranco) I knew the singers and songs with the right lyrics.  

Good lyrics mostly from strong women helped tell the story of my young life.  From Madonna to Tori Amos, looking back I grew up with some great music and great lyrics. 

Singing the meaningful words over and over in my car or quoting the lyrics in my journal, the song lyrics comforted me.  They made me feel less alone, more understood.

I got a chance to review Mary Lambert's new album Heart On My Sleeve and I feel like shouting to whomever is in the room, "I've got the perfect song!"  It's not just Lambert's melodic voice on the new music, it's the lyrics, the words she is singing.  

Mary Lambert is probably best known for writing and singing the hook on Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' marriage equality anthem "Same Love."  Before that song, Lambert was an aspiring singer-songwriter who also worked as a brunch waitress and bartender.  After years of struggling both financially and personally, Lambert suddenly found herself signed to Capitol Records, releasing an EP (Welcome To The Age of My Body) and getting nominated for two Grammy Awards 

On Heart On My Sleeve Lambert sings about identity, dealing with pain from the past, finding love and being vulnerable and authentic.  

Some songs are slow and somewhat hypnotic like "When You Sleep," others have more of a pop/dancey feel like "Secrets."  She even sings a haunting cover of Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" and makes it her own.

One of my favorite songs off the album is "Sum of Our Parts."  It speaks to my inner lyric loving college girl.  It's both slow and dancey.  It's full of anthem-like lyrics about accepting ourselves and saving ourselves, lyrics I want to write in a journal or sing into a hairbrush. 

I don't want to really call her a voice of a generation because she spans generations.  Her songs are relatable to 20-somethings and 40-somethings.

Whether it's a group of my 40-something girlfriends getting together to discuss perimenopausal angst or my four kids and I baking together in the kitchen, I can find the perfect song for the moment on Mary's album Heart On My Sleeve.

This is the perfect song ("Secrets") to dance along to in my kitchen with my kids. 

Mary Lambert's album Heart On My Sleeve is available on iTunes ( click here   http://bit.ly/MaryHeart) and on Amazon (click here http://bit.ly/MaryLHeart)

I participated in the Mary Lambert Heart On My Sleeve album review program as a member of One2One Network. I was provided a free album to review but all opinions are my own. 

Summer Soundtrack- A Music Review

When I was little, weekends were all about music--my parents' music.  They were music lovers.  Whatever record they were really into at the time was the soundtrack of our weekends, our lives.  Lionel Richie's Easy Like Sunday Morning was big.  My dad went through a huge Willie Nelson phase and Blue Eyes Cryin in the Rain still brings tears to my eyes and all kinds of emotion to my heart.  My mother loved Kenny Rogers.  They both were into SuperTramp, big time.  Remember Take The Long Way Home?

I loved looking through their record collection, lip syncing and putting on shows with my brother and sister to our favorite songs, long family meals filled with stories and laughter and their music, our music.

Music is still a huge part of my life and my children's lives.   I wonder if they will remember the songs I love, and if they will look back fondly on our weekend soundtracks.

Now that it's almost summer, our weekends are full of long breakfasts on the front porch, baseball games, nature hikes, playgrounds and swimming pools.  It's my favorite time of year.  It's all active and sunkissed, happy and exhausted, big puffy clouds, adventure and running and what's next and I get to stay up late and vacation, road trips and I hope it never ends. 

Wade has one speed in the summer--fast. 

Nature hikes = grand adventures and discoveries.
And most importantly make believe.

JT conquering the mountain (er, hill).

Some of the music I am loving right now is the newest from David Gray called Mutineers. 

To be completely honest, I had never heard of him until I got a chance to write this review of his latest album.  I downloaded the music and it instantly became my summer kick-off soundtrack.

Looking for treasures under the rocks.

JT has fallen in love with fishing.

The music is intelligent and beautiful.  Most of the songs are haunting in the most happy of haunting ways.  The first track, Back In The World, is one I have on repeat.  "Everyday when I open my eyes it feels like a Saturday" is how it starts, which is exactly how I feel about summertime.  

The song is joyful and light and hopeful.  It is the perfect song to have playing when I watch my kids play in the backyard or when I sit on my front porch and reflect on how grateful I am for so much goodness in my life.

Our front porch, the center of our world in the summertime.

Another favorite song of mine from the album is Last Summer, which has a beautiful blend of David Gray's voice and an orchestra.  It's daydreaming music.  It's storytelling music.  It's sort of magic.

The whole album is like this.  It's the kind of music I hope my kids remember as our music.

This sort of looks like it could be an old school album cover.

The album is available for pre-order on iTunes and Amazon.

You have a chance to win a David Gray, Mutineers CD (ARV: $14.99)!  Leave a comment below about your favorite music or what you love best about summertime and you could win.   The giveaway ends on June 8 and is open to people in US and Canada.  

***** For this review, I received a free download of the album to review from One2One Network. All opinions in this review are mine.****

The Pulse of Compassion- "Give A Minute, Help Make-A-Wish"

Standing in line at the store, I heard a beeping noise.  Beep.  Beep. Beep. My pulse started racing and my eyes filled with tears.  It was the same sound we had heard in the hospital.  Haunting me.  Reminding me of loss and sadness.  The anxious feeling only lasted around 10 seconds and then I went back to shopping.  I pushed my cart forward and my anxiety deep inside and carried on.

                           ******

Beep, beep, beep....over and over.  It was quiet, but it was there beeping like the ticking of a clock or some ominous sound from a dark and twisty Edgar Allen Poe poem.  Beep, beep, beep.  It was coming from machines keeping people alive, machines checking the blood pressure and heart rate and IV fluids and everything else that needs checking.  

We waited for the doctor while the beeping beeped.  While we waited for confirmation that my pregnancy was over, we felt powerless.  We didn't talk much.  We held hands.  We held onto what was good and true and full of love.  We held onto each other.

Our bond grew deeper and so did our compassion for people that have to feel these feelings of fear and worry for their family.  Parents of chronically ill children who sit and listen to the beeping while holding onto hope that their children will get better. Having to parent through their heartache.

Beep. Beep. Beep.  A haunting reminder of a reality that doesn't make sense.

Last week, we were in the hospital again for Lucy's punctured finger (a nasty splinter that needed a doctor's attention).  She asked about the beeping machines.  She asked about all the machines and screens and charts and tubes in the room.

While we waited for the doctor, feeling powerless, I held her hand.  I held onto what was good and true and full of hope and love.  

Once again, my heart grew with compassion for any child that has to face illness and fear and uncertainty.

Beep. Beep. Beep. A constant reminder of being afraid.

                           *****

I don't want to be haunted by the beeping forever.  I don't want to relive that feeling of powerlessness.  I want to remember my feelings of empathy and love for families and children who are sick and hurting.  I want to do something...I want the beeping to represent a reminder of love. A pulse of compassion.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I want to hold onto each other.  And I can, and you can, we all can.  

There are so many ways to make a difference.  Volunteer at a hospital or nursing home, donate to a charity that helps families in need, walk in a walk or run in a run.  Reach out to your neighbor who has a sick elderly mother.  Call a family whose child is in the hospital and offer to drop off dinner for them.  (The best advice I got from an older friend at church one time was never say "let me know if you need help" to someone in need. Most people won't want to "bother" you or are so overwhelmed they don't know what to ask for.  She advised being specific with offers such as "I'll drop off dinner tomorrow night, I'll set it on your front porch" or "I'm dropping some groceries off later today."  Seriously, good advice in my opinion.)

This month, YOU can also help raise a million dollars for Make-A-Wish.  

You've heard of Make-A-Wish right?  Make-A-Wish grants the wish of a child diagnosed with a life-threatening medical condition.  They help ease the pain and the worry.  They are about joy and love and holding onto what is good and true.

  

For the second year in a row, StraightTalk is hosting "Give A Minute, Help Make-A-Wish" promotion to raise the million dollars (Click here for more information  bit.ly/Straighttalkwish).

Here's how you can get involved:

• Every Saturday in September, Straight Talk Wireless will donate $1 to Make-A-Wish for each person that visits their participating local Walmart and takes a minute to learn more about Straight Talk.

• Straight Talk will donate a minimum of $500,000 to Make-A-Wish and up to $1,000,000.

• Don't live near a Walmart? Really? No worries. From now until September 28, when you share the video on straighttalkwish.com, Straight Talk will donate $1 to Make-A-Wish®, up to $100,000 (one donation per viewer, per day) towards their $1,000,000 goal. It's fast, easy and worth every second!

Straight Talk is a service provided by TracFone Wireless Inc., America’s largest no-contract cell phone provider in the U.S. 

Straight Talk is available exclusively at Walmart and the cost savings of not having to maintain stores is passed directly on to customers.  Straight Talk has all of the same phones as the contract carries, including name brands like Samsung, Apple, Windows and LG. The “ALL YOU NEED” plan for $30 a month to receive 1,000 minutes, 1,000 text or multimedia messages, 30 MB of data transfer for data phones and 411 calls at no additional charge.

Because you took one minute to learn more about Straight Talk more sick children will have wishes granted.  

Beep. Beep. Beep.  The sound resonates now less like a scary, sad reminder of loss.  Now it can be more like the beating of our collective hearts full of love...the pulse of compassion.

We can all make a difference.

I participated in this sponsored campaign for One2One Network. 
I received monetary compensation, 
but all opinions stated are my own.

Summer UnPlugged--Fighting Against Tweens and Screens

I never understood people who said they were bored.  Really?  Have you tried daydreaming?  Have you danced in your kitchen?  Have you taken a nature walk or just a walk down your street and made up stories about people you don't know who live in houses on your street or the next?  I mean, come on, bored?  How does that work?

My kids have known from an early age that so-called "boredom" can be inspiration to use their imagination.  When my oldest was very little and he complained of "nothing to do" we sat down and made a list together.  The list was 25 Things To Do When I Feel Bored.  It included things like "play with my stuffed animals" and "dance to my favorite Barney songs."  He was really little and couldn't read yet, but we hung it on the fridge anyway.  Sometimes he'd walk by and point to a number and say "what's this one mommy, I need some impsperashum."  I would read it to him and off he would run to his room to dance to Barney songs. 

That strategy worked for years, but now we are entering new territory....tweens and screens.  Actually, it's also the fact that my stellar parenting of the early years has been slacking since there are now four little beings to "impspire."  All my kids, even the 3-year-old would gladly grab the iPad and play games and play games and play games.  My oldest, now 11, would go from his Kindle Fire to the iPad to Apple TV if there were no rules limiting screen time.  And while I really do love technology, too much of it makes all my kids grumpy and fight more with each other.

In an attempt to fight the lure of the screen to fix any feelings of boredom, we sat down before school got out and made a summer list.  It's on our chalk board in our kitchen for "impsperashum."

So far, so good.  The bike rides, pool time, nature walks and skipping rocks have won out over screen time.  All of that is wonderful and I am once again a pretty proud mama.  But what about when it rains? Last week we had a slew of rainy days and the kids eagerly went for their gadgets and it happened, they got grumpy and fought with each other more than they had since school got out.

I rushed to the chalk board searching for indoor activities that would please four grumpy kids ranging in age from 3 to 11.  And then I saw it, bowling.  We love bowling!  Everyone can bowl.  So off we went.  

Not everyone threw a strike.  Some of us were more interested in the candy machines.  Some of us took it very seriously.  And some of us didn't.  But we all had fun.

What do you do to fight off your kids' "boredom"? Do you struggle with the whole tweens and screens issue?  I'm not alone am I?

If you find yourself with a houseful of kids with "nothing to do" or it's 110 degrees and just too hot to move outside or it's raining or you're just a really cool mom (or dad), here's a special deal for free bowling.  Yup, free with the AMF Summer Unplugged Program.

The AMF Summer Unplugged Program includes two free games every day for each child* ages 15 and under (shoe rental not included). Sign up here (http://bit.ly/AMFSummer) for free bowling all summer long.

*You can register up to six children in the program.  If you would like to add more children, you will need to create a new account using an alternate email address.

And this sweet deal is not just for kids. An AMF Summer Pass is just $34.95 and includes two games per day for the pass owner and up to three guests ages 16 and up. (Shoe rental not included.) Click here (http://bit.ly/AMFSummer) to sign up.

All it takes is one simple sign-up, no coupons to mail or print. Simply present your membership card or your name at your local AMF center and you're good to go.

There are 250 AMF locations, find an AMF Bowling Center near you- http://bit.ly/AMFCenters.

I participated in this campaign as a member of One2One Network and am eligible for a prize drawing.  All opinions stated in this post are my own.