Tuesday, July 12, 2011

It's a dangerous world out there

It is a dangerous world out there.  That is what I have discovered after two days of my dreamy beach getaway.

Our trip began with a very, very long journey by car.  I was determined to prove I could be laid back and not a control freak.  So, after Tim, my husband, packed his magic snore machine, I gave him another job. Book the hotel room for our half-way point of the drive.

Well, he booked a hotel in a city that will remain unnamed, in a state that will remain unnamed.  But suffice it to say, I will never in my lifetime stay in this city again.  

As we pulled into the hotel parking lot I felt scared.  Not a good sign.  

I started to say, okay I did say "I knew I should have made the reservation.  What were you thinking?  I am not staying here."  But then I looked at my tired family who had been so good on the road for 10 hours and said, "Oh well, it will be okay.  Let's go have fun!"

This hotel/motel smelled like stale cigarette smoke.  Our room was okay, minus the peeling, water-damaged walls and the cigarette burns in the chairs. The kids didn't care though, they just wanted to get to the pool.  Oops, no pool.  Gritting my teeth, I tell everyone "No problem, let's get McDonald's for dinner." Even though I wanted to complain again about how I would've done it differently, I knew the kids were starving. And I wasn't sure if I would have wanted to swim in this particular hotel/motel's pool.

The woman at the front desk told us McDonald's was in the mall down one block from the hotel/motel.  We packed up the umbrella stroller and headed out in search of a very rare fast food treat.  

The one block was very scenic, scary scenic.  We passed three strip clubs, two liquor stores and some very interesting characters.  Thank god it was only 6 o'clock.  And thank god the only question I got was from Lucy when she asked "what's a mall?" 

After we survived the scary hotel, we left the city and vowed never to return.

We continued on in the custom van--the kids watched movies on the vcr.  That's right, vcr. 
By the ninth hour, the kids were starting to go a little nuts.  They took off their shirts and kept saying "we can't take it anymore."  It started to look like a scene from "Lord of the Flies."

But we survived that too.
JT wore his goggles for the last 4 hours of the road trip.  

Made it to the beach and changed into our suits right away.
I ran into the ocean with the kids.  Recklessly throwing myself into the white waves.  Proving to the kids once and for all, I am the laid back fun parent.  

My kids were a bit tentative.  JT ran with me and he looked at me and asked "Are there sharks in here?"
"No, not here," I replied.  But at that moment, something pulled me down into the water.  I screamed, shrieked and yelled "Oh my god!!!!!!"  

JT screamed "Mommy!!"

I thought I was under attack from a shark, but it was one or two giant jellyfish that had wrapped tentacles around both my legs.  I managed to pry it/them loose grab JT and run for the shore.  Screaming very bad words all the way back to the beach chairs.

"Mommy, I am scared," said JT.
 "Don't be afraid, Jesus it hurts," I said smiling and crying at the same time. "Everything is okay.  The ocean is safe," I lied.

After a vinegar bath, some Motrin and a couple Benadryl I felt better.  But I also felt like the sister who gets married in the movie "Sixteen Candles" only I smelled like I just dyed Easter eggs.  I seriously can't handle any drugs.  My brother kept saying, "You are so wasted."

After I was wasted on Benadryl, it was a lot easier to lie to the kids and tell them the ocean isn't dangerous.  The kids running around the pool and jumping on top of each other didn't seem so scary either.

But let's face it, it's a dangerous world out there.  Strip clubs, shady characters, ocean monsters and more. 
Even the after dinner fun last night was throwing Pop Its at each other on the deck.  My brother summed it up, "A little gun powder in a sack equals fun for a kid,"  


So, for the rest of the week it looks like I will be popping a few Benadryl and giving up my quest to be the laid back parent.

But look what washed up last night.

Another jellyfish victim.  Poor Lucy.  Danger.

Fun movie clip (I think I am a little obsessed with 80s movies and tv.)

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