Don't Call It A Comeback & a MamaKat Vlog Link Up

It's easy to get discouraged.  Sometimes I feel small, like what I'm doing is stupid.  

I'm talking about blogging and vlogging, it could be something else for you.  I'm talking about starting something, going for it and sticking with it.  Maybe it's to make money, maybe it's just to be creative and have fun, maybe it's to get all the voices out of your head.  I had you until the last one, right?  Okay I won't scare you with my neurosis, but you get it.  Right?

Over the past month, writing and blogging has helped me heal and feel less broken.  Connecting with people, motivating me to be creative, pushing me forward, teaching me about life, people and art.  Vlogging? Well, that's been harder.  I haven't wanted to sit in front of my flip cam or computer and talk.  

I suck at the sad vlog.  

Negative self-talk? I am a pro.  After not feeling the desire to vlog I started to say things like this in my head "why do you even vlog? no one watches" and "you don't have enough subscribers to matter."  Ouch.

Well, I'm fighting back and my inner bitch is going down.  I vlog because it's fun and creative and another way to connect.  I vlog because someday I hope I have more subscribers and can make a little money.  I vlog because I want to learn more about shooting and editing video.  I vlog because I have a voice and it matters.   I vlog because I want to.

Like an old LL Cool J song, don't call it a comeback.  I'm here and I'm sticking with it.  Today I'm proving it by posting a kick-ass vlog about....Kate Gosselin's hair.  Okay, they'll get better, but I'm sticking with it.  Cuz you know like LL says "I'm gonna take this itty bitty world by storm and I'm just gettin' warm."

Keep on keeping on with your something whether it's a vlog, a blog, a hobby a new business or your biggest, scariest dream.  Knock 'em out.

Here's the latest vlog, it's a link up with Mama Kat's Vlogging Prompts and yes, it's about Kate Gosselin's hair and what my obsession with it all means.  What does it meeeaaan????? (supposed to be a reference to famous YouTube double rainbow dude)

(If you are an email subscriber, click here to watch http://youtu.be/cPdthJcjIu0).

If you want to help me prove my inner bitch wrong, please go ahead and subscribe to my YouTube channel.


And go check out Mama Kat & the other vloggers that link up.

It wouldn't be right not to include this video.  You should play and do a little air boxing and/or kitchen dancing.  Seriously, do it.
LL Cool J's Mama Said Knock You Out

I'm Ready

I had no idea what I was getting into when I got married.
I had no idea how good it could really all be.

I have spent over a decade of Valentine's Days  with my husband, Tim.  Some of them romantic, some of them not so much.  You know I'm not much of a holiday kind of gal.  I've decided it's because I don't want the world telling me when I should be thankful, scared or in love.  I'll do it on my own time, in my own way thank you very much.  

But for some reason, this year I am all kinds of nostalgic and mushy and in love with Valentine's Day.

I love this graphic, this quote (it was on our homemade wedding program)  and Lenny Kravitz.  I love it so much I'm reposting it from an earlier blog post this week. See?  I can't stop spreading the love.

Maybe it's all the holiday feelings I've been pushing deep inside that are ready to burst.   I'm ready now to go around the table and say what I'm thankful for--my husband, my kids, my life.  I'm ready!  I'm ready to dress up and make a fancy dinner to celebrate all the special and good stuff in life. I'm ready to make a special playlist full of sappy songs for the occasion. Shit, I feel like heading straight to Kay Jewelers and buying someone a piece of really cheesy jewelry.  What is happening to me?

It's not like this has been a really wonderful week or anything. Monday started with my dryer breaking (again) and my van leaking orange, rusty liquid around town.  Maybe you saw me, or the trail of rust I was leaving behind me.  One thing after another has gone wrong.  What's so great about my life?

Well, nothing. Waaaa.

In a recent MomPulse vlog, I compared Tim and me to Brad and Angelina because well, it's obvious right?  But upon further reflection and five million and one things going wrong this week, I think the celebrity couple we are more similar to is that couple from Up.

Everytime we get ahead something happens and we have to take the hammer to our measly little savings jar.  Dreams of world travel (or even a tour of countries at Epcot) elude us.

But wait...cue the music...it's weeks like these where everything goes wrong that I remember why that couple from UP makes all of us cry.  Because none of the big stuff matters.  My husband and I love each other, respect each other and have fun together. And as a bonus we have these wildly adorable, interesting and lovable children.  

What's so great about my life? Um, pretty much everything, everything that matters.  

Happy Valentines/Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukkah/Halloween. Happy Love! I'm ready! And I'm heading to f-ing Kay Jewelers, Tim's getting a necklace damn it.

I decorated my house more for Valentine's Day this year almost more than any other holiday.  I'm feeling it.

Here are a few of my favorite love songs that are on my special LOVE play list:

Let's Stay Together, Tina Turner

You Must Love Me, Madonna(from Evita)

Give Me The Simple Life, Steve Tyrell

Just Might (Make Me Believe) Sugarland

You Are The Best Thing, Ray LaMontagne 

You Send Me, Sam Cooke

As, Stevie Wonder

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, The Beatles

Love Will Keep Us Together, Captain and Tennille

What? Captain and Tennille aren't on your love play list? They totally should be.

What's on your LOVE play list?  

Do you have a celebrity couple you and your Valentine are most like?

Just Be There & What I Know For Sure (This Week) & #iPPP

Consoling JT at a basketball game last weekend.  He got so excited he went to guard someone and poked himself in the eye.

Just being there.

Sometimes that's what being a parent is all about.  It's not about always having the answers.  It's not about always being able to fix problems.   And I hate that.

When my kid is hurting, I want to do whatever I can to make it stop.  

JT, my son with Celiac disease, has had stomach aches almost everyday for the past couple weeks.  Or at least I think he has. I'm confused.  Did he accidentally get a little gluten?  Is it nerves about school? When my daughter was in second grade she told me math gave her a stomach ache, which I totally understood. 

We've been called to come to the school and bring JT home several times recently.  This week when I got the call, I wrestled with what to do.  Actually, I had no idea what to do.  What if I'm giving into innocent little kid power struggles and telling him it's okay to use his disease as a free pass to go home?  Or oh my god, what if the poor kid is in major pain and I'm being heartless?

Of course I wanted to run to him, scoop him up in my arms and tell him he could come home.  We could snuggle, watch movies and eat really good gluten-free candy.  Then everything would be better, fixed for a minute.

When I got to the school I found JT chatting it up with his new best friend, a third grader he just met, in the front office.  "Are you sure you can't finish the day?" I asked him.
"Yes?," he said/asked suddenly very quiet.

We walked slowly to the car.  I felt like an FBI negotiator...not wanting to say too much, too soon, approaching with caution.  

"Honey, does your stomach hurt or is something else bothering you?" I asked.

"Nope, my stomach was hurting, but it feels better now," he said.  
After 20 minutes of negotiations, he decided to go back into school, so we walked back in and he skipped to class.

I have no idea what is going on.  I have no idea if I am saying the right things.  

But I do know that simply being there for him did make both of us feel better.  And I'm talking really being there--eye contact, full attention, hugs, comfort, love.  Sometimes it's not about answers or solutions, it's just about being there, that I know for sure (this week).

Me starting my day just being there with baby Wade.

Here's what else I know for sure (this week):

• Believe it or not, I am evolving.  Or at least my T-shirts are.  Never heard of T-shirt evolution? Check it--I went from everything being "alright" to everything being "amazing." Yup.

• It's the little things in life that bring big smiles.

Coffee foam shapes always make me smile, no. matter. what.

A million Matchbox cars= smiles. Clean up not so much, but whatever.

A kid's smile, I mean come on, right?

• My life has been changed by a toothbrush.  I am not kidding.  I just got a fancy new Phillips SoniCare and I cannot recommend it enough. This is not a sponsored post, I didn't get the toothbrush for free because I'm telling you about it.  It's just an f-ing amazing toothbrush and I thought you should know. You're welcome.

• Ever wonder how I spend my Me Time? No? Well, check this out anyway.  In case you missed the latest MomPulse video check it out here:

• I'm super excited about the Grammy's and will be Tweeting during the show. Come play with me @AngelaYBlood.

• This movie looks silly, but everytime I see the trailer I laugh. Mostly because the singing scene in car because it reminds me of my brother and me.  We used to take road trips together and I could sing any song, any genre and it drove him completely nuts.

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know.  Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

  Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.

I'm linking up today with my friend Greta from  Gfunkified.com and her pal SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. 

Me Time (& A Vlog Link Up)

I have been a mother for over 11 years now.  That means that I know....nothing. Except that alone time, me time, quiet time, whatever you want to call it is extremely rare.  And usually, I'm pretty cool with that.  I'm a chaos kind of chic.  

But lately, I've been digging quiet a little more.  Maybe it's because I'm getting older and all my kids are getting louder and wearing me down and out. Maybe it's because they usually all talk at the same time.  

My new found old lady love of quietness is a perfect fit with my new found alone time.  Wade started preschool a couple weeks ago and it's been pretty damn great.  So great that I'm sharing all the details in my latest MomPulse vlog. 

I linked up with the amazing MamaKat (check her out, she is FUNNY).  Each week she has a list of vlog prompts and this week one of them was to talk about "Me Time."


Here's what I know: 

(If you get the blog via email subscription here's the link for the video-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-9UsG6cCIM- check it out.)

To subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel, click here.

Some Nights and What I Know For Sure (This Week)

After a long day of mothering, baking, cleaning, reading, shopping, exercising, playing, educating, refereeing, storytelling (okay and tweeting, texting and facebooking and possibly crying, just a little), putting the kids to bed is...hmm, what's the best word to describe it?

Lucy has always been a little mama and loves helping out.  I love how she's reading her little brother "Stories for Girls."

Sweet? Some nights.

JT loves to draw at bedtime.  He makes pictures for EVERYONE.

Life affirming? Sure, okay, some nights.

But a lot of nights the best word to describe bedtime is demoralizing.

For real, check out the definition:

de·mor·al·ize

 [dih-mawr-uh-lahyz, -mor-]  Show IPA

verb (used with object), de·mor·al·ized, de·mor·al·iz·ing.

1.

to deprive (a person or persons) of spirit, courage, discipline,etc.; destroy the morale of: The continuous barrage demoralized theinfantry.

2.

to throw (a person) into disorder or confusion; bewilder: Wewere so demoralized by that one wrong turn that we were lost for hours.

3.

to corrupt or undermine the morals of.

There are definitely some nights when I go in the kids' bedrooms to tuck them in and find myself thrown into disorder and confusion and I can feel lost for hours after a bedtime struggle.

I mean it's parenting 101 right? The more exhausted you are the crazier your kids get.  It's cliche, but true--one more story, I have to pee, watch the tricks I can do on my bed, did you know I can count to "five teen" and more.  Even the older kids are bad--oh I forgot some homework, I haven't wanted to talk to you all day except for right now when I want to tell you EVERYTHING and more. 

They literally suck the energy out of you until you are crawling out of their room gasping for breath.  "Please...go...to...sleep...I...must...get...out...of...here..."  Yup, my parenting morale gets pretty much f@#&ing destroyed.

It's not as horrible as I'm making it seem, it's just exhausting.  These crazy, tiring, demoralizing parenthood nights just make the life-affirming, sweet parenthood nights that much more precious, that I know for sure. 

Here's what else I know for sure (this week):

• Maybe I'm so tired because I'm so old.  Anyone see this Friends gem online this week?  Yikes! 

• Here's the best pep talk you'll get EVAH.  Because I love SoulPancake, this kid and Space Jam.  Everything about this is so good, you must watch. And then figure out what's your Space Jam?

• Vine is all the rage.  I feel all cutting edge because I'm making six second videos on Vine.  Ch-ch-check me out.  Come play with me.

• I'm a little obsessed with Dallas.  Here's my story/recap/review for MomPulse in case you missed it.

• Screw bedtime, homework time is actually such a sweet time at our house (mostly).

• I love "Thrift Shop." This song is so. much. fun.  You may be all I "hella won't" listen because the language is shocking and I get it.  But I can't help myself, it's too good.  "I'm gonna pop some tags...This is  f-ing awesome."  

• Eating a giant bowl of ice cream and watching Tina Fey=awesome. I'm going to miss Liz Lemon and 30 Rock.  I haven't watched the last two episodes yet, that's my plan for my wild and crazy Saturday night (that's the where the whole bowl of ice cream and Tina Fey come into play).  

This is still one of my personal Liz moments, funny:

This clip is just one of the reasons I'll miss this show.  

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know.  Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

  Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.

I'm linking up today with my friend Greta from  Gfunkified.com and her pal SundaySpill.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. 

It's A Mess, That's OK and What I Know For Sure

Wade loves to paint, er, or mix every color together to make a lovely brown/green masterpiece.  Wade also loves to make a mess.  

Honestly, I think we could learn a thing or two from Wade.  We should quit worrying so much about mixing colors or spilling paint.  Yes, it can be a pain in the ass to clean up, but in the words of Joy Behar (at least the SNL version) "So what, who cares?"

As the kids grow up, I know the messes will get bigger.  It won't be about paint on clothes and markers on the wall.  And I will be there to help clean up the mess or to encourage them to clean up their own mess (ugh).  But right now, while it's about paint and silly fun, I'm going to embrace the moment.  

There is a lot of fun in those messy little kid moments, I don't want to miss it worrying about a little clean up, I know that for sure.  

Here's some other stuff I know for sure (this week):

• The Golden Globes taught me a few things: Tina Fey and Amy Phoeler are my dream BFFS and just plain funny; Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner cannot get divorced, ever, because they are America's cutest couple; I will be watching Homeland.

• Alone time is good.  I recently spent a morning in a crowded coffee shop totally alone and felt wonderful.  Except for the two suits at the table next to me talking politics (with totally polar opposite views than mine), it was a perfect time.  

Isn't that a great shot of the sunlight beaming down on my cracked iPad screen?

• Alone time is good, but Kitchen Dancing is great.  It is a cure all to almost any and everything, including when your furance breaks down in January in Michigan.

• If you wear shirts that look like maternity tops you can't be offended when people think you're pregnant. The end.

There I am, looking several months along. I got a few raised eyebrows as I ran errands with my wild kids.  Eyebrows that said, "lady, really? you're having more kids?"

• The weather is f#&$ing crazy.  While it gives me a global warming panic attack, it just completely bums out my baby Wade.  If you missed the video earlier in the week, check out his heartbreak over the loss of our snowman.  (If you get the blog in an email, click here to view the video.)

• Fred Armisen's impression of Joy Behar on Saturday Night Live is really good.  Honestly, I do it all the time. Funny to me, maybe not to everyone around me.  Sorry everyone around me.  But "So what. Who Cares?"

• Watching my kids enjoy each other and be nice to each other is one of the best feelings evah.

My kids' version of a group hug.

What do you know for sure (this week)? C'mon, we're friends, share what you know.  Leave a comment here or on the Facebook page.

  Come play with me on Instagram @jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

Oh yeah, and come follow me on Twitter @AngelaYBlood and subscribe to my MomPulse YouTube channel here.

I'm linking up today with my friend Greta from  Gfunkified.com and her pal Mamamash.com for the #iPPP link up.  They host a link up where they encourage people to share "your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favorite photos of the week" from our phones. 

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click here.