It Never Gets Old & What I Know For Sure (this week)

The fog is finally lifting.  Yeah baby,  I can see clearly now the rain is gone.   Or rather the f#&*ing virus/cold/sinus infection I've had for almost two weeks (which felt like two months).  

I'm always listening to my kids, or at least trying to listen.  But since I've been sick, it's been well foggier.  Some moments, all their voices blended together and they sounded like a bunch of high pitched woh-woh-woh-speaking off-camera grown ups in a Charlie Brown cartoon.

But the fog is finally lifting.  Their little voices are clearer.  And man, if good old Art Linkletter wasn't onto something (that's an incredibly old school TV personality reference, anyone remember Art Linkletter from Kids Say the Darndest Things, anyone?).

Did you know Cinderella has a "Beyonce?"  According to my daughter, Lucy, that is what Cinderella's fiance is called.

"Dude, did you see that?," Wade, my 2-year-old, asked his stuffed Like A Good Neigh-bear he received from our State Farm agent earlier in the week. I'm not really a fan of kids going around saying "dude" but a 2-year-old and a stuffed insurance bear? That's pretty priceless to me.

"Ooh look at the beautiful moon," I pointed out to the kids last night.  It was big and beautiful and almost full.  

"Yeah, I've seen the moon a bunch of times, it's great," my 4-year-old little neighbor Julia informed me as she ran off to play with the other kids.

I stayed a little longer looking at that moon, laughing.  Laughing at the sweet funny things kids say.  Loving all their goofiness and innocence.  I don't care how many times I hear the cute stuff they come up with, it will always be sweet and god damn wonderful, and that I know for sure.


Here's some other stuff I know for sure (this week):

• I am feeling some backlash from my I hate cats post last week.  Overall the reaction was pretty positive--most cat lovers rolled their eyes and laughed.  My fellow non-cat fans sent messages full of "amens" and "I hear ya sisters."  I got one "don't judge a whole species" tweet that was borderline offended.  My biggest critic?  My daughter Lucy.  She is still miffed that I professed my disdain for felines and hasn't forgiven me for sending an "adorable" kitten out of the house.  She keeps bringing books on cats home from the library and leaving them by the computer.  She is torturing me.

This cat is looking at me like it knows I hate it.

• Backyard two-hand touch football and flag football are great.  In fact, I could live with this being all there is.  I'd actually encourage my boys to play high school flag football.  Tackle? There will be no encouragement from me, I have a mini panic attack every time the word concussion is mentioned. Ugh.

• Instagram + Pittsburgh= Hella Good.  We're heading to Pittsburgh, PA for the weekend (to visit family and run in our family 5K tradition).  I love this town. It's a postcard kind of town and I can't wait to Instagram the hell out of it.  Follow me on Instagram--@jumpingwithmyfingerscrossed.

• Speaking of Hella Good, I love No Doubt.  Here they are performing on Ellen.

• I've been channeling Mrs. Doubtfire.  We watched the late early 90s classic earlier in the week.  And during times of frustration, I found myself saying "What would Mrs. Doubtfire do?"  So,  I showed a little more patience and kindness just like she would.  And much to my kids' chagrin, I used a British accent and said "Hellloooo" a lot. A lot.

• My husband, Tim, is just like Ne-Yo.  Okay, he doesn't dance, sing or wear a fedora but he shows me what true love can do.  Ne-Yo's song,Let Me Love You, perfectly describes how Tim pulls me out of some pretty deep funks.  Love these lyrics, love this song and love my husband.

• Voter turn out is not looking good.  No, I'm not getting political.  Not many people voted on which Real Housewife intro I should send to Bravo.  In case you missed it, watch the video and cast your vote. 

What do you know for sure (this week)? Or did your kid say something cute or something that made you laugh? Share what you know, leave a comment or head on over to my Facebook page and share what you know there.

Boys and Girls and What I Know For Sure (this Week)

Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars.  Remember that book?  Well I never read it, but I get it.  In so many ways men and women are very different.  And you know what?  It starts very young.

I broke up a million fights this week between my own boys and between my boys and the neighbor boys.  "What are you doing?," I screamed (remember I am not a calm mother).  "Get off each other!  Stop fighting!," I screamed louder.

Every time, the boys turned and looked at me dumbfounded.  With a "what are you talking about lady? we're having fun here" look.  How is pushing each other, wrestling with each other, piling on top of each other, pulling back your friends' arms behind their heads or finding "pressure points" fun?

I. Do. Not. Get. It.

Boys are different.  In a lot of ways they are great, I 'm not bashing boys.  I have three wonderful ones for god's sake.  But I still don't get all the wrestling.

The other day, I had nine boys in my backyard acting crazy.
Inside, I had three girls and a baby baking brownies with me.

  
Taking turns measuring and stirring.  Singing and dancing while they stirred.  Pretending they were famous chefs.  Pretending they were making brownies for the royal family in the castle and they had to be extra tasty. Imagining all kinds of scenarios.  Breaking out into a dance to a clean version of a Rhianna song every now and then.  This, I get. Totally.

The boys?  They were "fighting" over who got to wear the bucket on their head and was taken down in a wrestlmania championship.  Mmm-kay.

I will never understand boy play, this I know for sure.

Here's what else I know for sure (this week):

• Thirty-one products are pretty and pretty cool.  You can't go to your kids' baseball game or the pool these days without seeing at least a handful of moms with a thirty-one bag. You know why?  Because they are practical and fashionable. 

And it happens to be my first giveaway!!!!


You could win not just one gift from thirty one, but two.  I am giving away a thermal tote and a cinch sac in the adorable Flutter pattern.

All you have to do is, leave a comment here, like the Facebook page, or leave a comment on the Facebook page and you will be entered to win.  This is the perfect back to school prize.  And if you are interested in hosting a party (so you can get more free items, discounted items and hang with your friends)click here. 
 (Click here for more information on Thirty-One.)

• Speaking of back to school, I love this Old Navy commercial. At first I was like, "oh no, poor Jason Priestley," but then I was like "oh yay, Brandon and Andrea."  Funny for us old original 90210 fans, who I guess are all parents and Old Navy's target market.

• I am having a blast with MomPulse.  Here's the latest video if you missed it.

• I need a new song.  A song that becomes my back-to-school, get-my-groove-on anthem.  I'm taking suggestions.  In the meantime, I heard this song on the radio in the minivan the other day and I couldn't contain myself.  I loved it in 1996-ish and I  LOVE it now.  C'mon 'N Ride It. I dare you NOT to dance.

• Deer scare the f*#k out of me.  This week I went on  a tranquil bike ride with my kids on a peaceful trail.  It was wonderful.  We parked our bikes and explored a little and then I saw it, I mean them.  

The deer. Staring me down.  I know I sound crazy, but once I saw this video about animals attacking humans and I never forgot it. Ever.

• Social media is where it's at. Click here to follow along on Twitter.  Click here to like the Facebook page.  Oh and wait, check me out on Pinterest too.

What do you know for sure (this week)?  Please share in the comments or on the Facebook page.  Remember, each comment is an entry into the Thirty-One giveaway.  And plus, I want to know what you know.

Tired

I'm so tired my teeth hurt.
I'm so tired, I don't feel like watching TV (shocking, but true).
I'm so tired I wish I could check into the hospital for exhaustion like a celebrity.
I'm so tired...well, you get it.  


Summer is kicking my ass.  I thought tired was having newborns or fussy infants, but I was wrong.  Tired is four kids home all day, all summer.  It's fun, but god damn it's tiring.


There have been several nights lately where I walk around crying and muttering to myself like a scary homeless lady.  Or I'm like a toddler with a last crazy burst of wonky energy and then bam, I'm fast asleep curled up in the fetal position in bed.

The days are long, but go so fast.


The kids are adorable, but not wearing out as fast as they used to when they were smaller.


Swimming, baseball, play dates, kickball, wrestling, fishing, practice, make-believe, dress-up, potty-training, making meals, disciplining and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. (You should read this to the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" to make it sound less whiny.) 


I usually end up crying like that crazy lady because after all that cleaning, the house is still a disaster. Waaaaa.


Just in case you forgot the tune of that old Billy Joel tune, here you go...



Pretty soon, I'm going to have to make believe I have some crazy magic ninja energy powers.  Because did I mention I'm tired?  

The ninja costume never gets old here at our house.  Here's JT fighting off his enemies the other morning.

The raunchy, but oh so funny comedian Louis C.K. can do a very good impression of me muttering after a long day with my kids.  Seriously, it is exactly what I look like.  And his take on the difference between girls and boys is funny and probably pretty accurate.  If you don't like swearing, don't bother watching the clip.  If you like to laugh, watch the clip.

I Need To Pace Myself

Summer slow down? Not my family.

 

Summer is amazing.  

I love the fact that you can ride your bike down to the park, swing, skip rocks in the river and have a picnic anytime.  Bare feet, extra hours of daylight, sunshine, swimming pools, boat rides, baseball, lemonade stands.  

How cute is their sign?  My kids and the neighbor kids worked hard and made almost $17 at their lemonade stand.  They are saving up to buy wood to build a club house.  

It's all good.


The only problem?  My kids do not get tired.  They keep going and going and going like god damn little Energizer bunnies.  As long as there is daylight, they will keep looking for fun.  And sometimes even when the sun goes down.

How tired does Tim look?  The kids? Not so much.  They keep going and going and going.

Even a quick trip to the grocery store is an exhausting adventure (for me).

I need to pace myself (um, I am the only one sleeping here, the kids were sooooo awake).

6 Days

Six days.  That's all it took for the harsh reality of summer to take hold.  All the plucky optimism (that hope-y, change-y stuff) I was feeling as school closed it's doors for the year is gone. Two particularly hot, sticky days full of bickering children, no routine, one wild 2-year-old we affectionately call "Animal" and a massively messy house--that's what did it.

Here's Animal, I mean baby Wade playing dress up with his siblings in a calmer moment.  Do you love the Harry Potter scarf paired with a shall I had when I was a kid?

"Well, great.  Summer's ruined and I am a horrible mother who can't handle anything."  That was my first thought.  And yeah, I cried a little.  And yelled a little (a lot).


But then I moved on.  I took a few minutes and few deep breaths and realized a couple bad days doesn't equal a ruined summer.  It will be okay.


During my regrouping moment I pulled out a book that I read every summer. It's a good book.  Especially for busy mothers who find themselves feeling overwhelmed, over committed, overstressed and sometimes just over it altogether.  No, it's not a reality star memoir.  It's "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, a book your mother or grandmother might have read.

Here's the thing, they probably related way back in 1955 and you will relate today too.  I was first introduced to the book at a moms' group years ago.  A woman told the story about how a copy of the book was kept at her family's lake house, where she read it every summer by the water.  Just like her mother and aunts had read it years earlier.

My copy is very worn in a loved way--pages folded down for quick reference and favorite quotes underlined.  

It's a meditative, calm book discussing the pressures of being a woman and mothering and being married.  A book with passages like this one that I find so utterly relatable:


The shape of my life today starts with a family. I have a husband, five children and a home just beyond the suburbs of New York.  I have also a craft, writing, and therefore work I want to pursue.  The shape of my life is, of course, determined by many things, my background and childhood, my mind and its education, my conscience and its pressures, my heart and its desires.  I want to give and take from my children and husband, to share with friends and community, to carry out my obligations to man and to the world, as a woman, as an artist, as a citizen.


She writes about her desire to be at peace with herself and continues:


I want, in fact to borrow from the language of the saints--to live "in grace" as much of the time as possible.  I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense.  By grace I mean an inner harmony...Vague as this definition may be, I believe most people are aware of periods in their lives when they seem to be "in grace" and other periods when they feel "out of grace," even though they may use different words to describe these states.


Sigh.  


My summer meltdowns and distractedness will happen once or twice or maybe 120 more times over the next few months.  Only because feeling calm in a house with four kids and my high expectations is nearly impossible.  


But there are of course those "in grace" moments and those are the ones I strive for not just this summer, but always.




Another way I find my way back to being "in grace" and keep on moving on?  Music!


Keeping the post old school, here's one of my favorite songs. Ever.

Ace of Base was right, it is indeed a Beautiful Life. (Not very calming, but fun.)

A Big Job

I've been thinking a lot about jobs lately.  About getting a job, having to apply for a job, my nonpaying job.  Here's the thing about being a stay-at-home mom, I am never going to be promoted and I am never going to feel like an expert.  


Each one of my children is incredibly different, so one particular parenting technique or strategy that works well with one will not work at all with another.  I have one quiet, shy child, one funny child, one super cuddly child and one rowdy take no prisoners child (yup, the baby).

**Not pictured: the quiet, shy child.  And of course they are more than the brief one or two word descriptions above.  So much more.  And I love them all individually for who they are and who they will become.  I will not confine them to being "the funny one" or "the quiet one."  

My long term goals include having all the children become college educated, clean living, do-gooding, well-mannered, involved, concerned, caring grown ups.  I want them to know more than me without learning the hard way.  I want them to have less darkness and more light than I do.  I want them to feel grounded and loved.  


Love liberates.  That is a Maya Angelou quote that I think about often.  She also said "love doesn't bind, love doesn't hurt, it liberates."  I want my children to grow up feeling liberated.

Yet another great album cover picture right? 

But damn, those are lofty goals.  And my short term success is well, shaky at best.


Here are just a couple lessons I've learned recently that I want to share because we are a village and all.  Hopefully my shaky parenting skills will help other mothers.


Lesson # 1--Set those channel locks on your TV/cable/computer. Like now.  
I can't even tell you the story I want to tell you.  I have been censored people.  Censored by my conservative husband.  He has never once told me not to put something in here.  Sure he cringes when I type the word fuck.  He has a nervous look when I get way honest about some of my battles with sadness.  But I have to respect his decision about this one.  Just use your imagination.


Lesson # 2--Save the bug.
The other morning, my oldest son pulled a bug off his neck and showed it to me a few minutes before we were leaving for school. I freaked out, took a picture with my iPhone and threw the bug outside.  My first thought was "holy shit, we have bed bugs!" and went straight to "we're going to have to get rid of all our furniture."  After the panic was over, I looked up the bug on the Internet and realized it was a tick.  My first thought was "holy shit, he has Lyme disease!"  


I called the pediatrician and they said I should have saved the bug and brought it in.  They would figure out if it was a dog, wood or deer tick and have it tested in the lab.  Um, wow, okay.  For now we are watching for the telltale bulls-eye rash and fever that means concern.  Thankfully no signs of trouble so far. But people, save the bug next time so you don't end up spending countless hours researching ticks and Lyme disease on the great, fucking scary world wide web.


Lesson # 3--Sleep more.
For years my husband has been telling me how much he loves sleeping.  He calls it his hobby.  And he is really good at it.  I hate sleeping and always have.  It's a waste of time, I would say.  I could be doing something productive, like worrying or researching scary diseases online.  


Well, four kids and almost 11 years of parenting have taught me this...my husband was right, sleep is amazing.  I'm not ready to list it as my number one hobby or go to bed much before midnight, but I get it, it's good.  When I do get more than five hours of sleep, I think better, I parent better, I look better.

It's no wonder sleep is hard to come by with this over crowded bed, but aren't they so cute?

And I am going to need my sleep, I have a mighty big job ahead of me (and no raise in pay). I have four little wonderful souls to love and liberate.  And not totally screw up.