Thursday, September 1, 2011

A kick-ass mom

There are times when I feel invisible.
Necessary, but invisible.

Today after spending the day with my kids at the dr.'s office, the park, the backyard and for every meal, I came out of the kitchen and Lucy said "Hmmm, I have never seen those pants before."  She had a look of mild disgust.  

"Lucy I have been wearing them all day," I said, again with the dumb desperate, please love me tone I fall into easily with my children.

"Well I guess I have been ignoring you all day," she said and happily walked past me.

It is like she knew that I was insecure about the old maternity pants I put on to wear today.  How did she know?  My poor son has lost four pounds with his recently diagnosed walking pneumonia, but since taking care of him I have gained eight pounds. So yes, I pulled out the maternity pants. Ugh.

I have become so cliche.
A mommy blogger who complains that no one appreciates her.  Double Ugh.

How did I get here?

I always thought I would be a kick-ass mom with attitude.  I remember when I was pregnant for the first time and looking up to celebrity moms like Madonna for kick-ass inspiration.  Yup, I thought, that will be me.

This is a picture I took when my family forgot me at a baseball game.  I was catching up carrying all the gear and a baby.  Waaaah!!!! This would never happen to Madonna!

I mean it's cliche for a reason right?  At some point, most of us give into practical and give up a little of our Madonna complex.  

Even when my first child was an infant I would look at some mothers and wonder how did they let IT happen.  Why are their kids dressed so nicely and the moms haven't even brushed their hair?  What kind of a woman does that?

A tired woman does that, now I know.  

A tired woman who really can't please anyone does that.  Just as the sweet nurse at the pediatrician's office told me today, in her sweet Michigan accent (which for those of you that don't know, sounds a bit like a famous Alaskan politician), "Honey, you are darned if you do and darned if you don't, that's life as a mom."

You betcha!

So screw it, I am done.  I am going to get my kick-ass attitude back.  As soon as I get some sleep and everyone gets healthy.  

The real question is, can I be kick-ass in a custom van?

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