Thursday, January 12, 2012


Addicted.  We all use that word a lot these days.  "I'm addicted to shopping."  "She is so addicted to Facebook."  "I have a chocolate addiction."

It's sort of edgy and hip and funny.  Right?  So funny.

I mean I get it.  I like to laugh at everything and make jokes about everything.  For example, when a social worker was visiting my home to talk to me about my son JT's speech services he would be getting through the state, I joked about my tortuous family medical history.  "Anybody have any mental health issues?" she quietly asked reading from the questionnaire on her clipboard.

"Uh, duh, yes," I said a little too loudly.  "Who doesn't right?  Bi-polar of course, isn't it like the new ADD.  Everyone has someone that's bi-polar in their family right?"  Ha, ha, ha, ha, lol.  I thought I was so funny.

The social worker looked uncomfortable.  Later I told my husband how the meeting went well, but the woman had no sense of humor.  I proceeded to tell him how it all went down, he cringed. 

So maybe everything's not that funny all the time.  (Although come on, bi-polar...the new ADD....funny, right?)

Addiction scares the be-jesus out of me.  Watching mental illness and addiction literally f-ing wreck my mother probably has something to do with it.

It's a slippery slope.

Like the classic Robert Palmer song says:
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, 
you're addicted to.....

A couple of years ago I couldn't go a few hours without a Diet Coke.  If I didn't have one I would go out of my way to get one.  No cash?  No problem.  I would frantically look around for change and pay for a damn Diet Coke in dimes.  Is that what addiction looks like?  I am not kidding, it scared me.

So, I valiantly gave up the stuff.  Quit cold turkey thank you very much.  

Instead of Diet Coke however, I drank a pot of coffee twice a day.  One full pot in the morning.  One full pot in the afternoon. Hello transfer addict.  I spent most of that year dehydrated and snappy. 

Once again, I valiantly said enough is enough and got off the coffee.  But uh-oh, upped my wine consumption, by like a lot.

It was so easy.  One glass a night led to two glasses a night, sometimes a wee bit more.  And that is where it stands now, but as I reflect on my addictive tendencies, it does indeed freak me out a bit.  

So, that's it.  I am swearing off the sauce forever a while.
Funniest of the Funny.  30 Rock-new episodes tonight.

Why can't I be addicted to cleaning my house or even better addicted to love.  Okay that last joke/comment was lame.  Reading it made me uncomfortable.  Oh god, maybe I'm not funny  without diet coke, coffee and wine.  Who am I? 

I am a wine loving, caffeine craving person who is seeking balance.  And trying not to slide down a slippery slope.

That's my life....trying to stay a few steps ahead of mental illness and addiction.  Changing up routines.  Trying to reign in the impulsivity without squashing creativity.  And most importantly keeping a sense of humor and laughing.   

Cool Florence+The Machine version of Addicted to Love

The original from Robert Palmer (I feel old.  I  so remember slicking my hair back and painting my face to look like these lovely ladies and then dancing in front of the bathroom mirror.  Lame!)

No comments:

Post a Comment