Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Just One of Them Days

Yesterday was a bad day.  Nothing bad happened.  Well, except my hormone levels and my attitude and my ADD brain and...  I was all over the place, but not any place good.

It wasn't anything major or life altering, like the 90s pop diva Monica said, it was just one of them days.  

To quote her brilliant song exactly:

Just one of them days a girl goes through.
When I'm angry inside and I don't want to take it out on you.
Don't take it personal.
I just want to be all alone.

October is my January.  Many of you experience the blues in January.  January is dark for all of you Christmas is the best time of year people.  I'm not those people.  The best time of the year in my book is summer.  And I am sad to see it end. September is full of a back-to-school madness and enough warm days to make it okay. But by the time October comes around, I go dark.

Actually all change makes me go dark for a day or two.  I have nothing against Autumn.  It's beautiful. The colors make me stop and fill me with some "holy shit that's a beautiful tree" awe-filled wonder.

But change is change.  And I'm a girl that needs to be in control so change, adjusting, accepting, moving on...all that takes a day or two or three.

Before I was married and had children, those days would be filled with solitude, sad music and lots of books and food. Now I really don't even remember what solitude feels like.  And when you're married, even your most personal dark day isn't so personal.  

That said, my family is amazing.
Like current pop star Kelly Clarkson says in her song Dark Side, they "remind me who I really am."  She goes onto sing "Everybody's got a dark side...Nobody's picture perfect, but we're worth it." Sing it Kelly.

Now my dark days are filled with me being a little snappier than usual, then feeling guilty about snapping and being grumpy and then crying before bedtime. There is still some sad music and pop music and of course lots of food.

Change is change.  Good stuff comes with bad.  To see the light, there has to be some dark.  I get it.  It's all good.  

Love this. "Even if it's only the lyrics to a stupid pop hit." Yes, I'm quoting the quote in a quote caption.
It's that good. 

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