Monday, October 3, 2011

You Gotta Have Faith

Faith, Courage and Enthusiasm
This is a line from a bad Ben Affleck movie, "The Company Men."  My husband and I decided to watch it because it was about a family suffering through the recession (uh, we can relate in a lot of ways).  The line was a mantra for people that were looking for a job after being laid off or let go.  Good line, bad movie.  One of those movies where the preview is way better than the actual two hour investment.

Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust
This line is from "Return to Neverland," a movie I watched with my daughter Lucy this afternoon.  You know I am not a big fan of Peter Pan the character, but this was a good little show.  It was about Wendy's daughter, Jane, going back to Neverland, but lacking belief in Peter and Tinkerbell.  I of course dove into the deeper meaning of Jane's character from a feminist standpoint....she was much more Peter's equal rather than some weird mother/Oedipal character that I thought Wendy represented.  Too much?  Anyway, it was good.

But the whole idea of faith....

I asked Lucy what she believed in.
"I believe in fairies but not Peter Pan.
I believe in rainbows because I saw one before.
Everyone in church is always talking about God and Jesus, so I guess I believe in them.
And I definitely believe in mermaids," she said with certainty.

We went to a wedding on Friday night.  My husband's cousin's wedding.  A young couple with, well, a lot of faith, courage and enthusiasm.  
My son JT was the ringbearer, and a damn cute one I must say.
My husband's family does weddings really well.  "Nothing like a Kimball wedding," you will hear people say over and over.  They are old-school, full of lots of tradition, dancing, drinking and laughing.  And love.  And there are lots and lots of weddings because there are lots and lots of them.

When I was dating my future husband, Tim, and accompanied him to a family wedding I knew I would love this family.  It all came down to the dancing. During a Kimball wedding reception women of all ages always get out and do the shuffle.  Tim's dad's nickname is Swivel Hips Youngblood.  Everyone is cheered on to do ridiculous, fabulous moves.  The bigger the better.  And I love them for it.

This past wedding was a little different because Tim and I were there with all four of our lovely children.  But I guess it runs in the family because our kids were dancing their little hearts out.  Sure they were dancing to the dinner music the dj was playing while everyone ate, but they sure were living it up.

As I watched the bride and groom enjoy their day, I felt old and at times a grumpy cynicism creeped into my head.  Like "oh you're happy now, just wait" or "enjoy it while it lasts guys."  What the hell has happened to me?  Life has happened.  Four kids has happened.  It would be so easy to be exhausted, jealous and cynical because life is challenging and marriage is really hard.  But it is also really f-ing great. *Tim asked me to not write the full word, so I used "f-ing" instead.  Then he just said, "yeah, give me credit for being the good person." What the f-?

Even though I fell in love with Tim's family for the dancing, he simply doesn't, ever.  The dancing gene never really caught on with him.  But Friday night, I looked out onto the dance floor and who was twirling my daughter around?  Tim.  Who was doing a conga line with all the kids under 10?  Tim.  
He looked up and our eyes met. It was like it was our wedding dance floor, except better.  I love him more than I did 11 years ago.  I know him better, we've been through more and we are better for it.  I believe in the life we are building together.

At that moment with our eyes locked, we were a thirtysomething couple full of faith, trust and pixie dust.  Or maybe it was the champagne, but I am a believer.  Just like the George Michael song, you gotta have faith.
Here you go, because I know (or I hope) you were singing this out loud or in your head.

And hey,
Check out the updates to my Gluten Can Suck It Page.

Also, check out a blog I wrote for the Rochester Patch about not fearing political yard signs. Click here to read it.

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