Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The list

I recently informed my extended family that I believe I have adult ADD.

It didn't shock anyone too much. Forever I have been the one with all the ideas, but not a lot of follow through.  Sure, sometimes there is follow through, like my decision to have a large family with an amazing husband.  Followed through and got very lucky.  Running a marathon, check.  Did that.  And a few other things.  But for every major example of follow through, I have 100 million examples of not so much success.
Yes, this pic was taken in the bathroom, like the toilet paper holder in the background?

My ADD was self-diagnosed after reading an article in a health magazine.  There was a checklist with criteria like:

  • difficulty getting organized (check)
  • many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow-through (check, and check)
  • often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent (check, thank you very much)
  • changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans and the like; hot-tempered (ugh, check)
  • a sense of insecurity (yup, check)
and so on and so on.

The list even included family history of manic-depresssive illness, or depression, substance abuse, or other disorders of impulse control or mood (remember my mother? check, check, check)

The article focused on the positive aspects of having ADD, like having abundant energy and creativity.  There were examples of coping strategies such as making lists.  Cool I thought, I have been coping pretty well.  I am a huge list person.  Forever I have been making lists.

Sometimes, like today, my lists are a little like a struggling, not very realistic ADD sufferer however.  
For example:

  • Train for a marathon
  • Work out
  • Buy the snacks vacation bible school at church
  • Relax
  • Work on business plan
  • Return Emails
  • Play with baby
  • Read to five year old
  • Call crazy mother
  • Pull weeds
  • Read BossyPants
  • Design lesson plan for fun Math Camp for Lucy
  • Check on kids at grandpa camp
  • Paint the kitchen
  • Make breakfast, lunch and dinner
  • Go on a bike ride with the kids
  • Pay bills
and so on and so on.

My real life went a little more like this:

  • worked out
  • checked Facebook
  • read to five year old
  • played with baby
  • stressed out
  • made breakfast, lunch and dinner
  • went on a bike ride
  • felt like a failure

Even though I meet more criteria than some, we all have a little ADD in us.  Too many things to do, too many expectations we put on ourselves.  While I was fretting about how I didn't do half the crap on my to-do list, I heard the movie that I had sat JT in front of so I could worry.  He was watching "Up."  I heard the music of that first know the scene.

I scrapped my list and went and sat down next to my 5-year-old and watched a good movie.  I sighed with relief and soaked up the message of the movie way more than JT.  He just snuggled up next to me and laid his head on my shoulder.  

There are days where I feel like Tim and I get ahead with our great plan for our lives and our family.  But there are so many days when I feel frustrated that we have to break the Paradise Falls bank and fall behind.

But this afternoon I hugged JT a little tighter and realized I did accomplish some things on my list.

I will put my creative, highly intelligent mind back to work on a new list tomorrow.

The Scene:

The Other Scene:


  1. I just feel like that sometimes too. But I think it's that moms put on too much pressure on ourselves. As moms, we do a lot and never stop like the 'Energizer' bunny...we keep on going and going.
    Great to connect with you on Bloggy Moms.
    Have a great day,
    Español para Niños (Spanish for Kids)

  2. Barbara, totally agree with the 'Energizer' Bunny comparison! Love it Thanks for reading.